Chapter 90: I won’t forgive them so easily

Chapter 90: I won’t forgive them so easily "They were also holding a book signing event, so I wondered if you would like the book more if it was signed by the famous author himself." Min-Cheol’s voice sounded lively. It felt like he was in a good mood as he flipped the pages softly before closing them. "He signed the book, though he wouldn’t stop looking at me with sparkling eyes. He was so weird." He laughed. "I told him someone I cared about liked books a lot, and if they liked his book as well, then I’d make sure to sponsor him." What?! He would go that far if I liked the book? Wasn’t that a bit too much? "Though I would like you to like me more than you like this book, it’s fine. Since it’s the thing you love most in this world, I’ll make an exception." I could feel Min-Cheol’s wide smile but at the same time, barren. It didn’t have that bright sparkle it used to have each time he was excited to see me. His smile quickly faded, and he said, "Hurry up and wake up soon, Hyung. You’re already losing the fat you worked so hard to gain." He said, stroking my cheek. "I want you to read this book to me while we spend the night in the library, and I want you to pat my head, kiss my forehead goodnight, and be by my side." Bro, I assure you. That was just a one-time thing. I didn’t mean to kiss you goodnight, dammit. Don’t misunderstand and put meaning into it. "It’s a little selfish, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask since I’ll be buying your smiles." My thought procession paused for a bit. His words reminded me that the people in this world that I had met this far had been good to me and would always be good to me. They reminded me that I had no reason to be scared of this world. They’re actions and gestures were that assuring. And because of that, I felt that no matter what had happened in the world I remembered, no matter how much I suffered and cried due to their cruel treatments... None of it mattered, because their actions going forward were completely on a new and light path. It was different, and it would definitely erase the actions that had been carved into my bones. Still, I wasn’t going to let them off so easily. I mean, I did suffer. Just because time rewound somehow doesn’t mean it’s okay to simply forget what they did. Just because Min-Cheol bought me books doesn’t mean I should forget about how he tore my clothes and scraped my skin till I bled with his fingers. Just because Ki-hoon bought me food, doesn’t mean I should forget about how he cut the air from my lungs by strangling me with hatred in his eyes. Just because Jin-Yeok took me out to see some nice scenery and bought me ice cream, it doesn’t mean I should forget how he broke my ankle when I tried to get away from him. Just because that last guy... Wait, he hasn’t done any nice things for me yet, so he still has a lot of redeeming to do. My point is... I could never forgive them so easily, especially after knowing that all that I remembered was not just a book content but my life printed in black and white pages. This body might be fresh and unharmed, but the pain and the memories were carved into my bones and my very soul. The only way to ease my aching bones and traumatized soul was to make things hard for them. I would never fall for them easily, and even if I did, I would make sure they never found out. Let them suffer in their attempts to win my heart, muhahaha. But seriously, was that the best I could come up with to torture them for all that they made me go through? Sigh. I was a lost cause. My heart was just too soft that it was difficult not to yield. I want to make things very hard for them, but I just can’t think of a way to do it without stepping on the softest part of the thin ice I was walking on. Let’s just do just that. Feign ignorance to all of their feelings, their attempts, and carry them on only to reject their confession with my full chest and break their hearts. Hehehehe. I would enjoy their riches and ride on their coattails while earning millions for simply smiling. It’s such a simple and heart-pleasing lifestyle. And to think I was just crying and stubbornly running away from returning to this world a moment ago. The reason my heart and soul ached so much was because I felt like I was at war with the world, and the world was using everything I possessed, including memories and feelings, causing me to ache so badly and writ in pain. It was so cruel of the world. I mean, I used to live there so couldn’t it pity me a little? Anyway, I’ve resigned to faith and listening to the conversations that took place in my room for the last two weeks softened my heart even more and strengthened my resolve to live a long and fulfilling life. I would not be beaten. Not by this world, not by the other world (I’m certain it already beat you tho) and not by the plot. I shall write my own fate in this path I am walking henceforth. Nothing shall stand in my way. My eyelids gently patted each other, and what I saw first was the darkness. It wasn’t that dark since there were dimly lit lights at the corner, but... It still felt so dark to me. It felt like the bottom of the sea that I had sunk into before my soul got carried away. "Where am I?" I muttered and sat up. This was my room in the mansion. It was quiet and clean, but I still felt stuffy. I pushed away the quilt and stepped on the rugged floor. The feeling of the expensive and comfortable rug underneath my feet made me realize I wasn’t dreaming. It still felt real even though I had considered it a dream before. I stood up, staggered a bit, but held on to the wall to stop myself from falling, and then walked towards the window. There was a balcony outside the window that I had never gone to, but for some reason, I felt I needed to go to that balcony and receive some fresh air. So, I opened the window doors and walked out. The wind whooshed past me, and once again. I felt alive. It felt like the wind was blowing through my very soul and accepting me ’back’ from my journey beyond. So, this was my world.