Chapter 67: I feel fine now, master

Chapter 67 - I feel fine now, master I have no idea what had come over me the previous night but I was not acting like myself. I was definitely not acting like myself. What sort of loneliness could overcome someone to the extent that they would act so needy? The kind of loneliness that came over me. Waking up in a dark room with no one beside me and scared that I would probably not see any of the faces that usually buzzed around me like pesky houseflies made me feel insecure. Had I grown so attached to them? It had just been a week. Wasn't that too fast? Wait, let me look at it this way. Just like the male leads were buttering up to me at an alarming speed, I, Jo-Pil, the main character, was also growing attached to them, but I just didn't realize it until I felt their absence. 'What is this?! I'm not supposed to be feeling their absence. I'm the one playing them. I can't be played in my own game.' It was confusing and frustrating, knowing that I was getting drawn into them just as much as they were getting drawn into me. I was so embarrassed at my behavior, honestly. 'Now that I've sobered up and had a nice bath, my mind is very clear so I know for a fact that I acted out of the ordinary.' Would this complicate things for me? I hope not. For a moment there, I acted like a lovesick protagonist whose lover was going on a three-week business trip. Yeah, that's exactly how I acted and it's grossing me out each time I think about it. Was I possessed? That definitely couldn't have been me. Let's just forget something like that happened. "Do you still feel lonely?" Jin-Yeok, who was sitting next to me, asked and I smiled. And yet... The effect of my actions still remained. Jin-Yeok did not return last night. He carried my sleeping ass back to bed and laid me down, lying down next to me. He watched me for a while before going to sleep. I know it shouldn't have been like that. He shouldn't have stayed over when he needed to go back to his lover and yet... Because of me, he stayed. His lover must really hate me right now. I just hope she's not practicing voodoo by stabbing a doll version of me with pins. Wait, why did I suddenly think of that? "I feel fine now, master." I said to Jin-Yeok but he reached his hand towards me and brushed my face lightly with his gloved thumb. Was there something at the corner of my mouth? We just had breakfast so it was possible. "Are you sure?" He asked. "Or are you just saying that because you feel embarrassed now that you're thinking clearly?" I sighed. He knew the answer so why did he still need to ask? He was making things difficult for me on purpose with that smile of his. "Jo-Pil," he called and I looked up. "Do you feel suffocated?" He asked and I paused. Do I feel suffocated? The house was huge and there were so many places I could walk to. There was the Library I frequented, and I was sure there was a garden so if I wanted to get some fresh air, I could just go out to the garden, but I haven't gone there yet. Others were living in the mansion with me too. It wasn't like I was completely alone. There was May, April, and the rest of the maids. So, do I feel suffocated? "I don't think so," I answered. "So, you aren't even sure." He said and I paused again. Ah, why did I say that? I could've just said no, so why did I say that? It was as if I was unsure but I was sure I was trying to tell him I wasn't suffocated. "Why would I feel suffocated?" I asked. "I mean, I have the maids. I could talk to them, and--" "And yet you felt so lonely to the point you ran after me in tears," he stated which finally silenced me. So, I did feel suffocated. There were no two ways about it. But why? I wasn't a people's person. I was someone who enjoyed being alone to read as much as I could when I wasn't working. I would rather stay home than go out for drinks with my colleagues if it would ensure I could read one more page of my unfinished books. But here, I was suffocated out of the blue. "I told you to be honest with me, Jo-Pil." Jin-Yeok said. "But I didn't lie." I said, twiddling my fingers. "At least, that's what I made myself believe but when you put it like that," I rubbed my chin. "I guess I do feel suffocated. The house is huge but it's not something I can just get used to because I like extravagance. Maybe if I went out once or twice, it wouldn't be like this, but I feel I'd be asking for too much." I couldn't raise my gaze to look him in the eye for some reason. "My masters already did me a life favor by buying me out of my debt, so I would be asking too much if I demanded to be let out once or twice a week." Jin-Yeok sighed, which caught my attention and I raised my head to see what expression he had on my face. "You're something, Jo-Pil." He said, reaching his hands towards me to squash my cheeks together, molding them like they were dough. "What did I tell you, Jo-Pil?" "Though I'm in this mansion, I'm not locked up. I'm not restricted either." I repeated his words, recalling it immediately. "That's what you said." "Exactly. And I told you to look at it as you being set free, not bought into slavery. You're human so we treat you like a human, not a slave." He said and finally set my face free. "You're allowed to be greedy. So, exercise that privilege like you did a few days ago." He was referring to how I asked for an account. "Don't hold back."