Chapter 51: You know, the past is gone

Chapter 51 - You know, the past is gone "Jo-Pil, you're driving me mad, do you know?" He asked and I stared at the expression on his face. He looked like someone who had been suffering for more than a decade but he wouldn't let a single tear drop from his eyes. He was so strong in love and also an idiot. I got up and wrapped my arms around him, hugging his head to my belly, surprising him and myself included. Yeah, I have no idea why I'm going this far. "I don't know why but seeing you hurt makes me feel hurt as well." I said to him. "The chopsticks, no, the ramyeon, was it a part of our past?" I asked, and that was when he clung to me, squeezing my shirt tightly till it was wrinkled. Jeez, these guys don't know how it is to iron clothes for hours, so could he quit wrinkling my clothes? Well, I'll forgive him this time since he's being such a baby. "You know, the past is gone." I said. "And though there may be memories that are as priceless as one's life, it's still the past, and it will all remain in your head and... Your heart. What you should focus more on right now should be the present," I held his head and pushed his head back slightly so he could look me in the eye and see how serious I was. "... And the future." Ki-hoon was left without words. He stared at me with that same expression that looked like he would die if he didn't have me at that moment. An expression filled with desperation but I was also desperate. And I chose my own desperation over his and ignored whatever he was feeling even though I could see it clearly. "Hyung, can you not dwell on the past that has memories only you can remember?" I asked, which surprised him. "If it hurts to think about it every time, why do you even bother?" "It's because..." He finally opened his mouth to speak, "... despite the presence of painful and heartbreaking memories, the memories that shine the most are the ones that have your smile." His words shook me to my core. I didn't expect those words and it made my heart skip a beat. Ah, he was a male lead to the core, this guy. Just look at this heart-thumping like he dropped on me out of nowhere. But I guess I was no different, myself. I was doing a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. "The ones I... Smile, huh?" It was strange for me at first but I felt I could match his pace. I smiled. "Then, instead of that, why don't we make more memories from now henceforth with memories that have me smiling like a fool? Just like before, I'll smile. Though I don't remember how I used to smile, I'm sure I can smile as brightly as that again." I assured him and this brought a ray of hope into his raining heart. For a moment, I really thought he was going to cry but he didn't. He wasn't so quick to tears. What did the author say about him again? Oh right, 'With a heart as hard as steel, Ki-hoon's heart had lied. It was not made of steel. It simply wore thick metal armor to cover up its vulnerable and soft nature, and once it had been stabbed a second time, fresh blood gushed out of it. That was not a heart made of steel, it was a heart filled with deceit. But even the second stab did not force his tears to fall. His eyes, which were like a dry desert, devoid of any tears, refused to bleed.' Okay, I don't know if to say the words were profound or if the author simply refused to let Ki-hoon cry while the readers hated him, but I was certain he cried at the end. I mean, who didn't cry? It was the worst yet most beautiful ending anyone could hope for. And no, no spoilers on the ending. It's a date I'll avoid, obviously, but I don't plan on saying anything concerning the end so I don't jinx my own fate. 'Bruised,' I thought, staring up at the ceiling as I held Ki-hoon. *Bruised were the hearts of the characters who had all fallen for the delicate flower.* That quote found its way into my head. These kids were really bruised. Each and every one of them. They were all flawed and mad but I don't believe they would ever want to be such characters if they were given a choice. Well, maybe I pity the three of them but not the last one. I'm still finding reasons to convince myself not to hit that lecherous bastard the moment I lay my eyes on him. Seriously, my fist is aching just thinking about him. I estimate three days before I come in contact with him and before then, I better add enough flesh so I can at least land a heavy punch that'll leave that handsome face of his bruised. And I better stock up on brownie points as well so my knights, I mean my masters can back me up after I do that. "Do you feel better now?" I asked but he shook his head. Argh, this brat, he just wants to keep hugging me forever. "Then, while we eat, will you tell me about our history with Ramyeon and wooden chopsticks?" I asked, and that was when he 'reluctantly'-- read my lips, he 'reluctantly' let go of my shirt, and I sighed in relief, taking my seat next to him. The ramyeon were slowly getting cold. What a waste. I liked them steaming hot. "You used to like Ramyeon a lot." He said and I nodded. And I still do, go on. "And you'd say wooden chopsticks are the best to bring out the full taste of the ramyeon," he said, picking up his chopsticks and I smiled. That's exactly what I'd say. It seems like Jo-Pil and I had a lot in common after all. Our appearances might be different, but we had the same taste. In food, that is. "I feel the same way now," I said and clasped my hands together. "Thank you for the food," I said and he smiled. He did the same and we finally dug in. He watched me for a while before also taking a mouthful. After he swallowed, that nostalgic expression fell on his face and he muttered softly, "It's spicy," Gosh, this guy, could he not make my heart flutter for no reason? My heart wasn't even supposed to flutter but I guess Jo-Pil's body wasn't mine after all. This body's heart could flutter all it wanted. I was just a visitor who would leave soon.