Chapter 84: My roots?

Words : 1129 Updated : Oct 5th, 2025

Chapter 84: My roots? I was invited in, and I sat across from the shaman in front of her shrine. Her shrine had nothing too fancy. There was a wall with a drawing of mountains and a dragon behind her, and underneath the drawing were candles and bells, which I assumed she would use for spiritual practices. I did not look for too long, though, as she drew my attention to the empty golden bowl in front of her with a light strike. The sound of the bowl was like that of one that had water filled to the brim, but the bowl was empty. At least, to my eyes, it was. "Hwang Jo-Pil," she called my name, and I flinched. I never told her my name, so how did she...? I raised my gaze and found her smiling at me. Even through the veil, I could see her smile. It was old and worn, and I wondered if this woman had long to live. "Don’t look at me like that, I still have a lot of years ahead of me." She said, and I quickly looked away, realizing it was rude to stare like that. Did she read my mind? No. She must’ve read my face. Hyun-woo did say I wore my thoughts on my face so much that it was so easy to know what I was thinking. But he was only ever able to pick up my absurd thoughts and nothing more. "I have a question," I said. "Sure. Go ahead. It is why you’re here, right? Because you’re confused." She said, and I nodded. "Then, don’t hesitate. Time is not on your side." "What does that mean?" I asked, but she simply shook her head and waited for me to ask my question. "Is this world... Real?" I asked, and she peculiarly gazed at me as if I had found a certain secret. "And what would you say is the definition of ’real’?" She asked. "It’s not fake. It’s authentic. It’s not... A copy of someone’s imagination. It won’t fade no matter what someone does. That... Is my definition of real." I said. It wasn’t just your typical textbook definition. It was the definition that I had come to after thinking deeply and soulessly on my current situation. "Well, your definition is on point. Now, why don’t you apply it to the world you see? Does this world seem fake to you?" "I..." I clenched my fists. If it was about a week or two ago, I might’ve said no without hesitating, but now... I don’t know anymore. "I don’t know." My soul won’t align with the way of the world, and I can’t remember anything of my life besides my current job. I can’t even find the book I claimed to have read. Everything was so messed up, as if this world was something entirely different from the one I knew. "I see," the shaman said and then struck the bowl a second time. "This world is real." She said. "To me, at least. But to you whose soul is foreign, this world would definitely feel unreal. In whatever you do, it would seem like the world is fighting you, trying to spit out the soul that had snuck in and was ruining the balance. So, the world will keep reminding you to do your roots." "My roots?" I was confused. Did she mean that the world of that novel was my root? "Yes," she nodded. "Haven’t you already felt it?" She asked. "Isn’t that why you look like that?" I bit my lip even though it had already been so badly bitten and looked away. "Hwang Jo-Pil, no matter how hard you try to deny it or how long you plan to resist the world as it fights you... You can never change the fact that your soul is in the wrong place." "I don’t understand," I said, feeling like I was being mocked. "How did it come to this? All I wanted was to come back... To wake up, so why have I suddenly become a foreigner in my own world? Why?" The shaman looked at me pitifully and sighed. "I don’t know much either." She said. "I would’ve told you if I knew. But right now, the longer you stay here, the more disharmonized your soul will become. And you risk fading out of existence," "What?" I looked at her, shocked. "I’ll fade away?" "Unfortunately so. That is why I advise to go back as soon as possible." But how can I go back when I haven’t gotten the answers to my question? How can I live without knowing why my soul belonged to Hwang Jo-Pil from the novel? "Halmoni," I called. "I have one more question," Since we couldn’t use common sense to make sense of my situation, I decided to use the novel logic. There were a lot of popular novels that had an MC who got away from their world after dying tragically and reincarnated into a completely different world without their memories or maybe just a fragment of it. They were able to grow up healthily and live a completely new life leaving their old life behind them only for them to get into a tragic accident and return to their world. But they did not just return to their original world, but they returned to the time before all that tragedy happened. If my case were similar, then that could be the only explanation. And my memories from my original world that I thought were a novel were actually real memories. My mind must’ve converted those memories for my own good in a way that I wouldn’t be affected. Since I liked novels so much, it took that form. But why do I remember having the conversation about the novel with others concerning it? Did my mind play tricks about that too? Was that just a coping mechanism? Lashing out at the characters just to feel better about the situation I had faced to begin with? Or... Was I from a novel to begin with, and I only realized it when I returned to my own world, the novel world after the accident at my workplace. But in doing so, I ended up erasing the traces of my world from this one. Thus, the novel no longer existed. And that was why, after returning to this world I assumed was my origin, the world identified my soul as being foreign. Yes, if I thought of it like that, then everything made sense. It made perfect sense. And yet... It did not make me feel any better. "Halmoni," I called, my eyes tearing up. "Do I really have to go back? Is there no other way?"

Chapter 84: My roots?

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