Chapter 72: I promise I won’t cross the line

Chapter 72: I promise I won’t cross the line A dull silence followed my question and I did not tear my gaze from Jin-Yeok for a single second. I wasn’t even sure I got to blink while waiting for him to give me an answer after listening to me for so long. And then, his lips curled up but not in a gentle smile or a mocking grin. He looked rather conflicted with that smile on his lips. "I see." He said with a silent voice. "I guess I did too much and as a result, I only brought you to confusion instead of easing the worries you have." He stroked my hair. "I was almost happy to hear that I make your heart flutter but I couldn’t rejoice at it because I heard you say I still make you anxious." He said. "I thought the things I’ve been doing so far were enough to get rid of your anxiety completely, but I was mistaken. I only made you worry more and become more weary with my actions. I was gravely mistaken, wasn’t I?" Yes, he was mistaken but not completely. His actions did not completely get rid of the anxiety that was pressing on my heart when I was next to him, but it did make me relax more than I realized. His care was something I couldn’t understand, but it was still care in the end, so I sunk into it and got my heart racing because of it. "I’m not simply messing with you, Jo-Pil." I Jin-Yeok answered as he sighed. "And I was not trying to start what you’re worried about. In fact, I was simply curious about the other sides you have. You amuse me every time I meet you so it’s natural that I’m curious to know what other sides you’re hiding from me." He said and laughed lightly. "And to see those other sides, I thought pushing you with actions you’re not used to would bring them out." So, he was only trying to feed his curiosity by being intimate with me? Was he for real? Did he realize how misleading his actions were? "My actions did bring out your other amusing sides, but if it only passed me and made you anxious, I guess it wasn’t the right method. I’ll try to stop. But..." He bent his back a bit to face me at the same height. "I’m not confident I can stop completely. There’s just something about being next to you that makes me want to do these things. So, I’ll blame my actions on my curiosity. Forgive me if I make you slightly uncomfortable a little further but please bear with me, Jo-Pil." I gulped. His face was so close. I heard what he had to say, and I had so much to say about it, but for some reason, I couldn’t think up my words anymore and focused on his handsome face in front of mine. "But now that you know I mean no harm, will you feel at least a little less anxious?" He asked. "I promise I won’t cross the line." I gulped once more. He was smiling to my face and though I knew I should be weary of his smile, I nodded gently, bewitched by his face. At least, he was being honest so maybe it would be okay. I glanced away, unable to take in that handsomeness for much longer. After such a tense conversation between us, we were back to flutters and smiles. Seriously, why was I always having such serious conversations with Jin-Yeok? Maybe it was because he was the one who made me feel the most anxiety and his character was a bit difficult to please, given he had two sides to him and a lover who could create chaos in the peace I was gradually creating. And thus, no matter what he did, I felt I still needed to keep my guard up. I’ll just take it that it was my protagonist’s instinct. But... ’Thank goodness,’ I thought in relief. We weren’t walking down the sex lane just yet. "Since you asked a question first, I should ask one too." Jin-Yeok said and gripped my hand in his, pulling me into his arms. He pressed my head to his chest as he hugged me. "Do you think I would cross the line with you?" My heart was racing. Being this close was only worsening my condition since my heart wasn’t listening to me properly. It wasn’t doing me any good and I... I was worried. "I honestly don’t know," I answered. "I don’t know if you’re simply teasing me or if your interest in me is causing you to go beyond the line you had drawn with your own hands." I grabbed his coat, gripping it tightly. "You’re the one who told me to be a little bit greedy, so I’m sure you understand what it’s like when a person begins to act on their greed." "You’re playing with your words again, Jo-Pil." He said, stroking my hair and I shut my eyes. "Yeah, I guess I am, master." I said. "But I’m sure you understand clearly what I’m trying to say." I pushed my head back and looked him in the eye. "Once a person begins to act on their greed, there’s no end to it. They would only keep wanting more even though they know the more they crave to satisfy their greed, the closer they were falling into damnation." I lowered my gaze. "Jo-Pil, are you saying I’m being greedy right now?" He asked and I closed my eyes. That was exactly what I was saying. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. I couldn’t afford to raise my gaze and see his expression but I could feel them leniently on me. He wasn’t mad, and the tone of his voice held no irritation whatsoever, so I dared to be even bolder. "No, master." I said. I should still practice a bit of restraint though. "Forgive me if my words sounded like they were rudely and harshly directed at you, but those words were directed at me. I have to remind myself about that." I don’t know if he would believe it but so long as I didn’t admit it, he couldn’t use it against me. In truth, I hoped to remind him that greed could lead him to a path he wasn’t seeing right now. Whether it was because he was curious or if he was simply testing the waters around me... Whatever it was, if he kept feeding his curiosity by acting like this around me, he would only want to go further. And who knows? He just might want to try having sex with me just to see how far he could push me. How nice he would feel to watch me cry beneath him. I felt goosebumps crawling up my skin at that thought. It was too early for that. So, for the time being, I had to delay such feelings of desire from creeping into their hearts. Even if I needed to be blunt with my words.