Chapter 86: Was this the key, then?

Words : 1078 Updated : Oct 5th, 2025

Chapter 86: Was this the key, then? The shaman looked at me as I trembled. Then, she attempted to strike the bowl again but paused. "Have you thought of the answer?" She asked, but I did not respond. "Does it scare you that much?" She had no idea. Just thinking of what had happened and realizing I had actually passed through it and they weren’t just pages I read in a book made my bones cry out. "If the reality scares you, why don’t you live in your own imagination?" She said and something about that piqued my interest. She spoke the words like they were from a book. "Hwang Jo-Pil, I don’t know what you went through in that other world or why you fear so much to return, but my advice is that you throw out reality and live like it’s all fake." She said. "If you imagine it’s not real, you’ll be able to take any action you see fit. You see, it’s the actions that you process with your brain that count." Okay, she was losing me there. What did that mean? "It’s a simple thought process." She said. "For example, if you convince yourself that when you’re harmed, you’ll heal immediately like a superhero, then would you hesitate to walk through danger?" "Well, no." "Why is that?" "Because I believe I’ll heal immediately." I said. "But will you heal immediately, though?" She asked, and my eyes widened as I realized what she was trying to say. "No, I won’t." I answered. "And yet you still believe you will, that’s why you’re so fearless that you walk through danger without any protection." Ah, so that’s what she means. Positive thinking! An act to think positively and confidently in all situations, even though it seems it would be disadvantageous to the person. It was more like a make-believe situation where I convinced myself that I’m invisible, so nothing can harm me, in order to actually get through that situation. Believe and have positive thinking. The shaman wanted me to believe that even if I were to go back to that world, I wouldn’t be harmed and whatever I was scared of wouldn’t happen. If I stayed positive and believed nothing would happen, then nothing would happen. Ah, it sounded like what I’ve been doing so far while I lived there. I was trying to stay positive at all times so I wouldn’t get caught up in the flow of the original novel. I... I believed I wouldn’t be harmed and put my faith in my actions. Was this the key, then? But even when knowing this, I still didn’t feel good about it. "Thank you," I said to her as I got up. "But I don’t think I can go back yet?" She watched me as I walked towards the door with a slumped body and then said, "The quicker the better," she said. "If you don’t make up your mind by midnight, your soul may cease to exist. I pray that the waves of life guide you to where you belong." I didn’t ask her how I could go back to the world of the novel or what to do to prolong my stay in this world. I simply slid the door open and walked out, closing the door after me. I stood there for a while, my hand on the door and my thoughts on thin ice. In fact, I didn’t need to ask her how I would return because I already knew how. I was able to cross into this world and the other during both times when it felt like I was dying. So, if I wanted to go back. I’d need to get into a situation where I was dying. Though it seemed this would be the last time, and once I died in this world, I would die for good. My soul could no longer come back to this world. I walked down the hill on the same path that led me up, tracing my steps back and looking at the things that I had watched while I made my way up. The park filled with fireflies, the small bridge, and the stream. I made my way back home and opened my door, viewing the books I had scattered on the floor. So many thoughts played in my mind as I made my way home, and so many things began to make sense to me too. That world in the novel was my real world. And so it was as if time had rewound somehow but... The characters still held a strong attachment to their feelings. That was the conclusion I came to. The feelings were there but hidden and dormant. The only thing needed to bring them out was a spark, and I lit that spark for them so well that in no time, their feelings began to rekindle. It was no wonder I was able to get them to like me so quickly. They may not understand why they suddenly grew fond of me so fast, and even I wondered the same thing, but not anymore. I now know the reason. Slowly, I picked up my books, putting them into a box. They were all books I had read, but the contents were starting to blur from my mind. My life in the world was starting to disappear, and in no time, it would be like I never existed. After packing all the books in a box, I kept them in a corner, folded my sheets and blanket, and went to clean the kitchen. There weren’t any dishes left to be done because I hadn’t eaten anything all day. And yet... I wasn’t hungry at all. A question came to mind as I did all this. Would it be better to just fade out of existence and end it all instead of having to go back to that place where I’d have to remain cautious with every step I took? No, fading out of existence and having my entire existence erased was terrible. I didn’t want to be erased. Then, should I just go back? To think my life in this world would amount to nothing. My efforts, my struggles, and my achievements... They would all become nothing. ’I pray that the waves of life guide you to where you belong.’ The words of the shaman played in my head, and I sighed. Waves, huh?

Chapter 86: Was this the key, then?

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