Chapter 44: And if I don’t despise it?

Chapter 44 - And if I don't despise it? In any case, this madman would really become a madman if he kept taking those drugs. If he stopped now, he would avoid that incident, but at the same time, his character would begin to clash, and his gentlemanly nature would cease to exist. But that should be a small price to pay for saving the lives of those he would kill in the future, as well as his lovers. He could also try to go about another method to keep him sane while he was a gentleman. He could go to therapy but I was sure he did not trust any therapists enough to tell them something like, 'I killed three people today. I enjoyed watching them scream and cry for me to spare them. Blah, blah, blah. So, I was going to be that therapist. He had no idea how much talking could help clear the mind. "Then are you able to provide verbal solutions after listening to me?" Jin-Yeok asked and I shook my head. "Not everything requires a solution," I said. "You never know, just talking and knowing someone is listening without them judging or looking at you with scrutinizing eyes can help a lot more than you think." "And do you think I have a problem?" He asked me. "Do I look like I have something bothering me?" "No," I said. "But I believe everyone has something they would like to say but can't because of its content. I'm not different." The room fell silent for a few seconds and I swear I could hear my heart thumping like an alarm clock. I was super nervous. I hope he didn't catch on that I knew something about him. I tried to be as vague as possible so he wouldn't notice but this silence... Ugh, it was so suffocating. "Hwang Jo-Pil," he called. "Yes, master." "Don't you think you're being too bold with your statements right now?" He asked but I did not respond. I did not feel any hostility from him and he wasn't taking a smile either. He just had a plain expression on his face, and I wondered if it was just an honest question after all that talk. "Yes, I believe I am." I answered. "And I understand I'm being rude. Would you like to punish me?" "You've spoken about getting punished twice already. Are you eager to run around the mansion naked?" He asked but I shook my head. "No, but I know that I was rude, and if my master despises my rudeness, then I need to be punished." "And if I don't despise it?" He asked and I smiled. "Then we can just let it go, right, master?" I felt things were dragging on for too long. It might get to a point where I don't know what will happen to me next. I might suddenly get a slap across my face that I didn't expect just because I misjudged the situation. So, instead of that, I think it would be better if I simply put an end to things here. "Master, while I'm still in the grace of your mercy, can I ask you a question?" "Grace of your..." He seemed to find my words funny and laughed. "What do you want to ask, Hwang Jo-Pil?" "Would you suddenly come to hate me because of my honesty?" I asked but he tilted his head a bit, trying to figure me out before responding. "Unless you're being intentionally rude, then I might find you an eyesore." He said. "But for now, I do not hate you. Like you said, I bought something green for you because I like you. But aren't you curious? It's our first meeting and yet I had already prepared a gift to express I was not dissatisfied with you as a human being." "Well," I looked away. "I can simply assume you did that just to get along with me since there was no way you would buy me if you hated me." Wrong. He did hate me. He hated Jo-Pil because it was because of him, an Omega, he would have to share a bed with someone aside his lover who grew jealous. He simply didn't show it, but he was really dissatisfied with Jo-Pil's existence, and that was why he did not listen to him when he struggled in bed. He just wanted to get things over with and leave. He took a long bath after each night he spent with Jo-Pil until it had become so natural that he started getting fond of Jo-Pil, seeing his gloomy and lifeless eyes that were just like his when he was younger. I shook my head. That was just in the novel. "And given that we've talked this much and I've gotten you to laugh a couple of times, I'd dare to say confidently that you've grown fond of me, master." I said with a bold smile. "Am I wrong?" "No, you're not wrong." He answered, sliding his hand around my neck all of a sudden. "I'm very curious about the high-rate breeding Omega called Hwang Jo-Pil, and each line we exchange makes me realize that there's more to the scared kitten who released its Pheromones in fear just a moment ago." "A single encounter doesn't define a person." I said and he nodded. "Yes, you're right. A single encounter doesn't. So, why don't we meet a lot from now on?" He suggested, and I paused for a moment, looking down at his hand on my neck, and then chuckled. "What do you mean, master?" I asked and raised my head. "This is also your house, so of course we'll meet from now on." Jin-Yeok ended up laughing and released his hand from my neck. "Yes, you're right." He said and dropped his hand on my head, patting it. "Master, can I ask you one more question?" I asked and he looked somewhat pleased to know I had a question to ask. "You want to ask me another question. What do I get out of being interrogated like this?" He asked and I pondered. What do I get him in return? I had no idea. "Then, how about this? For every question I ask you from now on, you can ask me one question in return. That way, we can get to know each other better."