Chapter 89: Jiraiya Walks Into a Plot and Immediately Regrets It

Chapter 89 - Jiraiya Walks Into a Plot and Immediately Regrets It {Alt Title:- Jiraiya Arrives to Save the Day, Brings Zero Help and Maximum Inconvenience} As the voice rang through the forest, a loud thud followed as a man landed in front of Team 1 and the still-bound Kakashi. His wild, mane-like white hair billowed slightly from the impact as his stern gaze locked onto the pale figure across the field. "Orochimaru," the man growled, his voice low, "I didn't think you'd fall so low as to harm some young Genin." Orochimaru chuckled, unfazed, "Well, you know how my tastes have always been, but these three were far more interesting than expected. And you shouldn't be shouting so loud in the forest." He gave a mocking smile as he licked his lips, then added with a hiss, "You're hurting my ears, Jiraiya." Jiraiya clicked his tongue in irritation as he turned back to the Genin and their thoroughly humiliated ANBU leader, "Good job holding on till now, you three. Free Kakashi and wait for me, I'll be done soon." Team 1 nodded in sync. Ren casually walked over and began freeing Kakashi from the earthen bindings, as if he hadn't been the one to trap him there just minutes ago. Kakashi gave him a deadpan look but said nothing. Jiraiya turned back to Orochimaru. "Orochimaru, come back to the village. I'll handle the old man. You were always his favorite, I'm sure he'd forgive you, even now." Ren snorted internally, 'They really are like Naruto and Sasuke but without the hidden Otsutsuki lineage.' Orochimaru didn't answer right away. He tapped his chin, then turned his golden snake-like eyes back to Ren. "You kept me entertained, little one," he said with a smile that chilled the bones. "So tell me, should I come back to the village?" Jiraiya's eyes widened, clearly caught off guard by the question. He looked at Ren, who had just finished freeing Kakashi and was brushing off his hands. Ren met Orochimaru's gaze and thought, 'He's obviously not coming back, but if I say no, Jiraiya might get annoying later.' He gave a polite nod and said aloud, "I am but a humble Genin. I wouldn't dare to refuse you, right, Jiraiya-sama?" Jiraiya looked at him with a mixture of confusion and exasperation, while Orochimaru laughed quietly, delighted. "You're really interesting. I'm sure we'll have much more fun once you grow up, though by then you might be out of my preferred age range." He smirked. "Still, I have confidence you'll remain entertaining." He gave a mock bow. "This has been much fun. I hope to see you kids again." Just as he was about to vanish, Yugao, of all people, raised her hand. "Um... excuse me?" she asked nervously. Orochimaru, clearly intrigued, paused and tilted his head. He motioned for her to go on. Yugao stood straighter, even if her voice still wavered a little. "Would the snakes really come for us in our sleep? Ca-can you not let them?" She added a quick, "Please?" The forest went silent. Orochimaru, Jiraiya, Ren, and even Hitoshi all turned to stare at her. Then Orochimaru laughed, the sound high and amused. "Oh dear, this is the most fun I've had in a while." He gave Yugao an exaggerated nod. "Okay, I'll see what I can do." Then he vanished in a puff of smoke. The clearing went quiet again. Jiraiya turned to face Team 1, his face unreadable as he asked flatly, "What the hell did you brats do to make Orochimaru listen to you?" The three exchanged glances. Ren shrugged. "One of Hitoshi's insects informed him you were approaching quickly, so he told us." Jiraiya narrowed his eyes. "And?" Ren smiled. "Then we opened a selling booth." Jiraiya raised an eyebrow, curious beyond measure. "What were you selling?" Ren casually replied, "Him." He pointed directly at Kakashi. Kakashi covered his face with one hand, as if that might somehow erase the entire last ten minutes from existence. ~~~ Team 1 was traveling through the jungle, escorted by Jiraiya leading at the front and Kakashi silently guarding the rear. Despite trying to maintain his usual laid-back image, Jiraiya found himself constantly glancing back at the Genin behind him. After all, not everyone could boast about successfully running a selling booth in front of one of the most dangerous S-rank shinobi alive, and selling one of their own, no less. When he had first heard the full details of what happened, Jiraiya finally understood why Kakashi looked like he wanted to erase parts of his memory permanently. Though the plan had been absurdly risky, it was their luck that it worked out, Orochimaru had gotten curious and decided to 'play' instead of killing them outright. Still, Jiraiya knew his former teammate well. Orochimaru had always been like that, if he found someone interesting, he would cling to them like a snake with prey. Jiraiya frowned slightly as he thought, 'Orochimaru, of all people, has taken an interest in them, especially in Ren. There's a chance he might try something during one of their future missions.' He glanced back subtly, 'I need to inform the old man to make some arrangements.' As he mused, the strange procession of the old, middle, and young generations finally reached a clearing. There, a group of shinobi in Konoha's standard jonin flak jackets were resting. A little apart from them sat a woman who was hard to miss, fair-skinned, with straight, waist-length blonde hair, light golden-amber eyes, and a violet rhombus mark on her forehead. She wore a green haori with the kanji for "gamble" on the back, over a grey kimono blouse and dark bluish-grey pants. 'Tsunade Senju,' Ren thought immediately. His eyes drifted over her outfit and face and he confirmed with a sage nod in his mind, 'Indeed, it's her. But why is she here?' Standing near Tsunade was a young Shizune, around Kakashi's age, holding several kilograms of pork, which looked like it would be the most delicious thing in the world. Sitting casually nearby was their own Sensei, Utakata, who instantly perked up at their arrival. When the group landed, they immediately attracted attention. After all, it wasn't every day that you saw a Sannin leading a Genin squad and an ANBU through the forest. Jiraiya gave his signature wide grin and joyfully greeted the woman sitting ahead. "Hey, Princess! It's been a while since I've seen you!" Tsunade narrowed her golden eyes slightly, watching as Jiraiya approached a little too enthusiastically. "Jiraiya," she said coolly. Meanwhile, behind them, Utakata had already gotten up and approached Team 1. His brows furrowed slightly as he asked, "What are you three doing here?" Ren pointed at Kakashi. "He came to us with a mission scroll from the Hokage, saying we needed to escort you and your team back." Utakata turned his gaze to Kakashi, who gave a small nod to confirm. Then Utakata's eyes swept the surroundings until they locked onto Jiraiya, who was still chatting animatedly with Tsunade. Realization dawned on him and he sighed before asking, "Any problems on the way?" Yugao nodded seriously and casually said, "Yeah, we met with Mr. Snake." Utakata tilted his head slightly, processing the words. Then his eyes widened sharply. "You met with Orochimaru?" All three nodded calmly, as if it were no big deal. The effect was immediate. Every shinobi in the clearing froze. The idle conversations stopped. Weapons were subtly gripped tighter. All eyes were now on the Genin squad. Tsunade's golden gaze locked on them, then shifted to Kakashi. Her voice sharp as she ordered, "Kakashi. Explain." Kakashi, still emotionally dead inside from recent events, straightened and replied in a bland tone, "We were a few kilometers away from the rendezvous when Orochimaru attacked us. We held out for a while, and then Jiraiya-sama came to the rescue." Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Have you forgotten how to give a proper report?" Kakashi wisely remained silent. Meanwhile, Jiraiya leaned in and whispered something into Tsunade's ear. Whatever it was made Tsunade pause. She stared at Kakashi, then at Team 1, back at Kakashi, and then at the kids again, repeating this several times, before finally bursting into unrestrained laughter. The other jonin looked at each other in confusion, utterly lost. Utakata, clearly wanting to know what the hell was so funny, gave Ren a questioning look. Ren simply smiled and gave a brief, casual summary of the 'Kakashi Auction Booth' that Team 1 had run against Orochimaru. By the time Ren was done explaining, Tsunade had barely managed to control her laughter, though she still snickered quietly now and then. Tsunade wiped her eyes and looked at Team 1 approvingly. "Great work, you brats. Now come here, we need to get to the real reason the damned old man sent you." She stood up and started walking deeper into the jungle, Shizune following behind her. "Kakashi, Utakata, Jiraiya, you're with me." Without another word, the mentioned people followed her, while the remaining jonin stayed behind, still sitting around, utterly confused about what had happened, that three young Genin talked casually about their encounter with a man who would have obliterated them on sight. ~~~ Once the important members separated from the regular jonin, they found another smaller clearing to settle down. Tsunade simply sat on the ground, completely unbothered, so naturally the others followed suit. Though the Genin were confused, they mirrored their elders and quietly took their places. Tsunade began, her amber eyes briefly sweeping over Team 1, "I said it before, but good work holding out against Orochimaru. The mission your Sensei was on involved eliminating a few of Orochimaru's bases hidden around this region. There was a good chance Orochimaru himself would show up, so the old man had me accompany the group, just in case." The Genin nodded as they processed the information. Tsunade continued, "Since we hadn't encountered him after all this time, we assumed he wasn't interested enough to confront us over a few minor hideouts. But I guess he was just lurking around and happened to stumble across your group by chance." She shifted her gaze slightly, "Since it was pretty much confirmed he wouldn't appear, the Hokage sent your team along with Kakashi to meet me for another matter." Her voice then turned sharp as she turned toward Jiraiya, "But what the hell were you doing here?" Jiraiya gave a carefree grin and flashed a peace sign, "I heard you were around here, so I thought I'd come and visit!" He beamed like an idiot before adding, "Besides, isn't it good I came? Otherwise we might've lost a future Hokage candidate." He laughed heartily as he clapped Kakashi's back, much to the latter's annoyance. Ren glanced at them and thought, 'So they were already planning for Kakashi to become a future Hokage. Makes sense, I guess.' Tsunade didn't say anything in response to Jiraiya's antics. She merely nodded and moved on, her expression turning serious once again. She looked around at everyone gathered in the clearing, her gaze pausing briefly on each person except Shizune, and said, "Alright. Enough playing around. Let's begin the check-ups. Kakashi, come here." Without argument, Kakashi moved forward and lay down on the ground as instructed. Taking the chance, Utakata quietly explained things to his team. "Since Tsunade-sama no longer resides in the village, Hokage-sama arranges for certain promising or important shinobi to meet her under the guise of missions. It's an opportunity for them to get fully diagnosed for any hidden illnesses or injuries. Although we have excellent med-nin in the village, there's always a chance something could be missed, and small problems can grow into something serious later." Team 1 nodded in understanding. Utakata then turned to Hitoshi. "Your family head knows about this and has given his consent. He has asked you to be fully cooperative with whatever Tsunade-sama asks." Hitoshi gave a small nod, clearly used to following clan orders. Meanwhile, Ren had his own thoughts. 'This really is a smart move. But I bet someone like Danzo wouldn't agree to it. Hell, most traditional shinobi probably wouldn't either. Too paranoid to let even the best healer poke around their body.' He casually glanced at Tsunade, who was now pulling out various instruments from a scroll with practiced ease. 'Me too, honestly. I don't have anything to hide yet, but if I make any modifications or create any forbidden seals later, I definitely wouldn't want my body getting scanned by someone like her.' Ren leaned back slightly as he watched Tsunade run her tests on Kakashi. She moved with the ease and assurance of someone who didn't need to double-check her steps, every action precise, every tool handled with the confidence of a master. As he sat there, another thought crossed his mind. 'Didn't they ever send Itachi for these checkups?' He quickly dismissed it. 'No way. The Uchiha clan would never allow that. Especially not by a Senju. Hell, I doubt they'd even let the village med-nin touch their heir unless it was a matter of life and death.' He mused further, 'Come to think of it, most bloodline clans would probably object. The Aburame must have given permission because their techniques are harder to steal or replicate even if someone inspects their bodies.' After some more time passed, Tsunade finally finished her inspection. Kakashi stood up as Tsunade scribbled something onto a sheet of paper. Without looking up, she said bluntly, "You really need to get rid of that Sharingan." {Alt Title 2:- Mission: Escort Your Sensei. Outcome: Accidentally Befriend a War Criminal} ~~~~~ {I'll mention later why Orochimaru and Jiraiya didn't fight, but anyway, Orochimaru and Team 1 are now buddies so Snekomaru is now cool} {You know what else to do} {STONES!!!!!}