Chapter 88: Best-Dressed Kidnapper and Worst Business Ethics (Ft. The Discounted Negotiation Team of Konoha)

Chapter 88 - Best-Dressed Kidnapper and Worst Business Ethics (Ft. The Discounted Negotiation Team of Konoha) {Finish everything and then we'll chat.} As Orochimaru spoke, he lazily waved his hand. A sudden gust of wind erupted, blasting Kakashi away from his position. Once again, Orochimaru turned his golden, slitted gaze toward Team 1, but before he could fully focus his attention on them, Kakashi flickered back into place. This time, the Sharingan spun menacingly in Kakashi's left eye. "Ah, the Sharingan," Orochimaru cooed, his voice dropping into a hiss, "how much I desire thissssss." Ren was sure he heard the snake-like hiss slip through the words. Before Team 1 could fully retreat, Orochimaru's oppressive bloodlust spiked once again, pinning them to the ground with its intensity. "Won't you show me something interesting?" he said smoothly, tilting his head even as he dodged another one of Kakashi's attacks. In a blur, Orochimaru leapt into the air, avoiding a blast of lightning-style jutsu from Kakashi. Upon landing, he immediately slammed his hand on the ground. [SUMMONING JUTSU] There was a huge poof of smoke, and when it cleared, a giant red snake emerged, hissing aggressively at Team 1, with Orochimaru perched casually atop its head. Once again, Kakashi rushed in, but instead of Orochimaru, he targeted the snake. However, Orochimaru intercepted him mid-way, forcing Kakashi further away from his summoned creature. "C'mon, Kakashi-kun," Orochimaru said in a mockingly sweet voice. "You know how much I enjoy seeing kids face a little challenge." He glanced at Team 1 meaningfully, and the red snake launched its head towards them without hesitation. All three genin flickered out of the way just in time, scattering in different directions as the snake began to rampage through the forest. Seeing that the immediate threat was the snake and not Orochimaru himself, Ren quickly composed himself and called out, "You guys good?" Hitoshi gave a calm "hmm" as Yugao nodded firmly, "Yes." Ren immediately flickered a few times, positioning himself directly above the snake's massive form. Interlocking his palms together, he slammed them down in a hammer strike. [SKY BREAKER PUNCH] The impact cracked through the snake's scales with a resounding crack, stunning the creature. Yugao took the opportunity. Gripping her sword with both hands, she launched into a high-speed spiraling rotation, her blade carving viciously into the snake's body. Within seconds, the snake's huge body looked as if it had been squeezed and torn apart by a spring. A loud buzzing sound followed, and both Ren and Yugao immediately flickered out of the way on instinct. A second later, a black mass of insects swarmed the snake's body. Ren glanced at Hitoshi, who stood calmly nearby, holding a gourd-like container from which the insects had been released. Yugao flickered over to them, and Ren raised an eyebrow, asking, "Was this what you were talking about?" Earlier, when they had been resting, Yugao had mentioned learning a "really cool" move. But Yugao grinned mischievously and shook her head, "Nope, not even close. This was the [Thousand Ring Sword]. It was just one of the techniques mentioned in Master's scroll." She rubbed her nose proudly, while Ren shrugged, glancing back at the insect-covered snake. "He hasn't taken you in as an official student yet, you know," he commented casually. Yugao snorted, "You jealous?" Before Ren could retort, Hitoshi's calm voice interrupted them, "It's dead." The insects swarmed back into the gourd hidden within Hitoshi's body, and with a heavy thud, the giant snake collapsed, lifeless. ~~~ The heavy thud of the snake's corpse was enough to draw attention. Both Kakashi and Orochimaru turned to look at them. Orochimaru clapped slowly, amusement dripping from his voice. "My my, such spirited little ones. I hope its family members don't disturb you in your sleep in the future." With a chuckle, he casually jumped atop the fallen snake. A poof of smoke covered the area as the snake vanished into nothingness. Orochimaru's golden, slitted eyes focused on the genin once more, but before he could move, Kakashi flickered in front of them and said in a low, urgent voice, "Run. He wants me. He won't come after you." Orochimaru chuckled, "How smart of you, Kakashi-kun. But that wouldn't be much fun, right?" He slammed his foot down, and suddenly the ground under them slanted and turned slippery like mud, pulling all four towards him. They tried to flicker away, but their legs were trapped by the thickening mud. Reacting instantly, Ren flashed through some hand signs and slammed his palm down, solidifying the slippery mud underfoot using the [EARTH STYLE : HARDENING STATE] his father had just given him a week before. Once the surface was hardened, he used his chakra-enhanced strength to punch the ground around their legs, freeing all of them. Without wasting a moment, they all moved to the trees, flickering away. But Orochimaru was already a step ahead. He jumped up and unleashed a massive gust of wind, forcing them out of the trees mid-movement. Orochimaru immediately closed the distance, aiming a strike at them. Kakashi blocked him again, shouting, "RUN!" But as Team 1 tried to move, Orochimaru launched several snakes from his sleeves toward them. All three genin reacted swiftly, deflecting or killing the snakes while Kakashi forced Orochimaru back with a lightning-style attack. Steadying himself, Kakashi growled, "I told you to retreat! He isn't someone you can deal with now. He wants me. I'll block him, so go!" Ren had enough. "Shut up, dumbass!" Ren snapped, killing some snakes near his feet. "Can't you see? He doesn't want you. He's just playing around with all of us." Kakashi froze mid-movement as Ren continued furiously, "Do you really think you're some bigshot just because you have a Sharingan? If someone like that man wanted it, he could have just killed you already. Isn't that right, Mr. Snake?" He turned toward Orochimaru, who grinned and nodded in amusement. Ren kept going, "You think we want to continue fighting the most wanted man of Konoha when our shinobi life just started? HELL NO." He dramatically spread his arms, "Even if we want to run, that thing, man, woman, snake, whatever, can block us easily. Like he did now!" He pointed toward Kakashi, who was staring blankly at him. "You still want to sacrifice yourself? Go ahead." Ren even gave a small push to the stunned Kakashi. Turning to Orochimaru, Ren shouted, "Excuse me! Mr. Best-Dressed-To-Kidnap-A-Child, you can take this one! He has a really bad hero syndrome with a lot of emotional trauma, so you might have some use for him!" Both Kakashi and Orochimaru flinched slightly at Ren's words. Orochimaru's grin widened, and he flicked his tongue out playfully, however the air around Kakashi turned chilly. Turning toward Kakashi, he said, "What do you say, Kakashi-kun? Your comrades sold you off. Just like your father. So wha-" "Excuse me! Lord Hiss-a-Lot!" Ren interrupted loudly, cutting off Orochimaru mid-taunt. "I didn't know we were selling him!" Kakashi audibly exhaled as Orochimaru tilted his head slightly, curious. "You weren't?" he asked. Ren shook his head seriously. "No, we were just giving him away. But if this is a matter of selling, then you need to give something in return." With that, Ren sat down on the ground with a thud, arms crossed, looking every bit the serious negotiator. Amused beyond measure, Orochimaru slowly mirrored him, sitting down as well, as if ready to entertain whatever madness would come next. Ren cleared his throat as he motioned for his teammates to sit down too. Without a word, Yugao and Hitoshi followed, settling on the ground beside him. Once they were all seated, Ren used a quick earth-style jutsu to bind the still-shocked Kakashi, trapping him up to his waist in hardened soil. Ren stood up with a serious expression and announced, "Okay then, we will now begin the sale of the Poster Child for Gifted Kid Burnout. The only buyer we have for now is the King Cobra of the Hidden Leaf." He gave a dramatic pause. "However, more buyers are always welcome." He glanced toward his teammates. Hitoshi remained perfectly impassive, but Yugao nodded heavily, playing along without hesitation. Across from them, Orochimaru, looking entirely entertained, tilted his head and asked, "Can I inspect the item first?" Ren shook his head seriously. "I apologize, but considering your strength and your reputation, I must decline. I mustn't let any harm fall upon the item before the sale." Orochimaru chuckled lightly, giving an exaggerated nod of understanding, accepting the barely hidden insult with good humor. Ren cleared his throat dramatically and began, "Alright then, I am sure you all understand the value of the item for sale, but let me introduce him for fairness' sake." He stood up straighter and proclaimed, "Introducing Kakashi Hatake (ANBU Edition)! The perfect blend of deadly precision and crippling emotional repression! With one Sharingan eye, a full arsenal of copied jutsu, and a tragic backstory included at no extra charge, Kakashi is ideal for stealth missions, brooding aesthetics, and arriving late to literally everything. Caution: may occasionally read smut novels mid-assassination. Order now and get a bonus existential crisis absolutely free!" As Ren finished his grand speech, Orochimaru clapped gleefully, followed shortly by Yugao and even Hitoshi giving a few dry, mechanical claps. Orochimaru smiled, his golden eyes gleaming with mischief. "What a great introduction. Now I'm even more interested in the purchase." From the side, Yugao raised her hand enthusiastically. "Yes, me too." Ren looked at her, seeing her gazing at the bound Kakashi with a mix of pity and excitement. She seemed determined for a moment but deflated when she remembered who she was bidding against. Ren spread his arms, "Alright then, let the bidding begin!" Yugao immediately raised her hand. "I have a kunai my dad gave me. He said it was engraved by the Second Hokage himself!" Ren gave her a thoughtful nod, "Ah, the Second Hokage, my personal favorite mind you. However," he shook his head regretfully, "we are not looking for items with sentimental value. Next!" Orochimaru was quick to speak, his tone oily and persuasive. "How about a summoning contract with the snakes? I assure you the rest are much stronger than the one you just saw and defeated. As a bonus, they won't haunt your dreams for killing one of their own." Ren tapped his chin, pretending to think hard. "A very appreciative bid! Do we have more offers?" Hitoshi, who had been silent till now, spoke casually, "Twenty million ryo." Ren exclaimed in surprise, "Oh my! Twice the item's bounty!" But Orochimaru wasn't done. He smiled slowly and said, "Knowledge of all the forbidden jutsu in Konoha. And some of my own, too." His golden eyes locked directly onto Ren as Ren paused. Ren took off his goggles and casually cleaned them, looking as if he was seriously considering it. "And," Orochimaru added smoothly, "how about my years of study in everything too?" Ren paused mid-motion, genuinely caught off guard for a second. Orochimaru leaned forward slightly. "Oh? Are you actually interested now?" Ren didn't answer immediately, but instead nodded slowly. Orochimaru smiled wider. "I admit, it's a generous offer, isn't it?" Ren agreed with another nod. "Yeah, I didn't expect you to value Kakashi so much." Orochimaru waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, leave Kakashi. I'm more interested in you." He flicked his tongue out briefly. "Did you like the offer?" Ren gave a small nod again. "Are you thinking of accepting it?" Orochimaru asked, voice low. Ren shook his head. "Nope." Orochimaru's smile didn't falter. "Then, when is your reinforcement coming?" he asked lightly. Ren casually turned to Hitoshi, "When's our reinforcement coming?" Before Hitoshi could answer, a thunderous shout echoed through the forest. "OROCHIMARU!" {Alt Title:- When You Summon a Snake but the Kids Summon Vibes} {Alt Title 2:- They Said Don't Engage With Orochimaru. So We Gave Him Kakashi} ~~~~~ {You can bid for a limited edition ANBU Kakashi here} {Also, I originally planned to keep his earth style more hidden, but I am planning to use more often now, but the main focus would still be on the Wind release. However the Fire and Lightning affinty would be completely hidden.} {You know what else to do} {STONES!!!!!}