Chapter 18: I Hated this Feeling

Chapter 18: I Hated this Feeling Seraphina’s POV Then I heard a soft voice. "She’s not," Asher said. "But she’s slowly becoming the most precious person in my life." My heart... stuttered. I didn’t mean to feel that flutter. That flicker of something stupid and soft beneath all my bruised skin. But it was there, melting my heart slowly. I pressed the bottle tighter to my chest, trying to swallow down the smile that wanted to climb out. It was ridiculous. It wasn’t supposed to happen this soon. But God... it felt good to be true. "You seem quite happy," Lucien’s voice came from above me—cool, detached, and sharp enough to cut through the fragile warmth I was building inside. Just like that, it shattered. "He said he’d take you away soon," he added, and I could feel his gaze on me from above, "but don’t forget—you’ve already given yourself to me." My heart stopped. What? He hadn’t forgotten. God, how could I forget? And yet... I had just walked beside him like nothing happened, like I belonged beside him/ What the hell was wrong with me? Brother Asher... just take me home. Shame surged through me and the heat under my skin, crawling up my neck to burn my face. I lowered my head as I was too embarrassed to speak. I just wish for the earth to split and hide me in it. "Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten," Lucien murmured again, and this time he sounded rather amused than cold. He was teasing! I didn’t reply. I just kept walking beside him with my eyes fixed on the ground, my thoughts louder than anything I could say. And then— "Ah!" My knees buckled. Every part of my body ached. I’d held myself together too long, and my strength was finally giving out. My vision blurred for a second as I stumbled forward. "I... I’m sorry," I gasped, instinctively. I instantly apologized. I was already being a burden on him, and now this. Lucien didn’t respond. He didn’t even say a single word. Instead, he stopped walking, and before I could understand what was happening, he bent down slightly. Then I felt his arm slipping around my waist, the other bracing my shoulder. And then— I was in the air. Cradled against him. He had carried me in his arms. My breath caught. I stiffened, blinking up at him, completely thrown off guard. He didn’t say anything. And neither did I. I just closed my eyes, my heart thudding against my ribs like it didn’t know whether to be afraid or grateful. I was speechless. His footsteps were steady beneath me, reminding me that my world was not yet collapsing. I kept my eyes closed, head resting lightly against his chest. I didn’t mean to lean into him. I didn’t mean to feel safe around him. But my body was traitorous like that. It wanted comfort even when my heart screamed no. I hated myself for it. His hold wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t rough either. It was steady, firm, and controlled. And there was something else beneath it... Something possessive that stirred warmth in my chest before I could stop it. Lucien didn’t spare me a glance. He just carried me, as if it were his duty. Not because he cared. "You shouldn’t apologize for collapsing," he said suddenly, voice low near my ear. "Not when you’ve been through hell." I didn’t answer. Because part of me wanted to hug him and sob just hearing those words. It’s been days since I heard something so kind since I reincarnated. And the other part wanted to run away before I fell harder into the one man I shouldn’t want anything from. We moved past a group of soldiers. They stared at us, and some saluted him. Some just looked at me like I was a fragile doll. I curled my fingers into the fabric of his coat. I felt so weak that it felt like I’d vanish if I let go. Is this what survival feels like? I was too tired to care whose arms I was in as long as they were not the ones hurting me. "Where are we going?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper, breaking the silence. Lucien didn’t look down at me. "Somewhere safe." A part of me flinched at that word. Safe. It sounded so foreign to me. Nowhere in the world was safe for me. I had suffered so much in my previous life that there was nothing called safe in my life. "No place is safe for me?" I whispered unknowingly. His jaw tightened. I could feel it. He shifted a little bit, but his grip didn’t loosen. "No," he said in a cold tone. "This time, no one touches you unless they want to lose a hand." Lucien’s words shut me up, leaving nothing for me to say or think. His words scared me, but at the same time, they comforted me, making me confused all over again. I hated how good that sounded. I hated myself more for believing him and that he meant every single word. We reached the car, and one of Lucien’s men opened the back door for me. But Lucien didn’t even glance at it. Instead, he gestured toward the front. "Open this one." The man obeyed without hesitation. "Clean the mess here," Lucien said, his tone as cold as always. "I’ll take her back myself." "Yes, Master," the man responded and disappeared like smoke. I stayed quiet. Not like I had much of a say in anything at the moment. Lucien helped me into the front seat, his movements careful, like he was handling something fragile. He fastened the seatbelt himself when my arms wouldn’t lift properly. Then he shut the door and came around to the driver’s side. The silence spread between us once he started the engine. "I... I need to go back to school tomorrow," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "It’s important." "Excuse me?"