Chapter 21: A place to belong

Chapter 21: A place to belong So far, Cass had not been impressed by any of the rooms that Lord Blackburn had designed and decorated, but he found himself surprised. The office? The office was nice. Even though the room was done in more of a grey scale colour scheme, it wasn’t red, silver and the black accents were actually tasteful. There was even beige mixed into the colour scheme, and a few other pops of colour hidden throughout the room. It didn’t feel like he was walking into a villain’s den and instead the bougie office of a high class merchant. It was a nice change. Where the bedroom had felt like a giant space with a few tables and chairs pressed against the walls, a giant bed and a few thick carpets on the floor, it didn’t feel like an actual room. If Cass was honest with himself, it felt like most of the rooms in Lord Blackburn’s chambers felt staged. Even the dressing room felt staged. Granted, he was pretty sure most of these rich types had mostly staged homes. Even in his world. Hell, he’d seen all those documentaries of how castles were laid out in his time, and he wouldn’t say that his current bedroom would be out of place if someone took a camera around his chambers. They might gawk at the colour scheme, but it would fit right in. Cass wouldn’t know anything about this kind of life. Him and his sister had to fight to get every square inch of the small places they had lived in prior to his sister getting engaged and having their family grow from two people to three. When his brother-in-law had entered their family, their funds increased significantly. He was a military man, and Cass had worried that he was going to pick on him. Cass was a classic nerd, both him and his sister were, but he’d been worried for no reason. He actually really liked his brother-in-law. But now...fuck. Cass took a deep, deep breath in, before releasing it, looking around the office once more. It was a huge room and seemingly divided into three sections without obvious dividers. The carpets on the floor were the subtle way that the room was cut into thirds. To the left were several large, wooden bookcases that went from floor to ceiling and were filled with books. They were actually overflowing, with several stacks of books on the floor, but pushed out of the way so they weren’t a tripping hazard. The section to the left was a small seating area. Two loveseats sat facing each other with a thin, wooden table in between. A window overlooked this area, shining light into this area, making it bright, almost warm, and welcoming. The soft leather loveseats actually looked quite comfy. Cass could already imagine having a nap there at some point. The last area was filled with a giant, wooden desk with elaborate engravings etched into the wood. Two more floor to ceiling bookcases were behind the desk, along with a thick leather chair. The chair looked comfortable, and also looked imposing. This area was covered in papers. Stacks on stacks of papers covered the back third of the room, and you had a clear look of the desk when you entered through the giant double doors behind Cass. It was clearly the centerpiece of the room, and was rather intimidating as well. Whoever had designed this room had done a good job. Sir Forsythe was calm as he entered the room with Cass. Whatever anxiety he’d had before when Cass had spoken to him had faded. He was back to being a cool, composed soldier. A knight. It was slightly disappointing. He liked seeing Sir Forsythe flustered, but it was no bother. This Sir Forsythe would help him more as he tried to piece together his memories and his new life. Or, more accurately, Lord Blackburn’s memories, but Cass’ new life. Cass slowly made his way towards the desk, touching the worn wood and noticing the spots where the varnish was worn away. It was rather interesting to see something that someone else had clearly loved. Because this space did feel loved. Each piece of furniture was worn and well taken care of. The leather was clearly maintained on the loveseats, and the same with the leather on the chair in front of him. In some spots it had been patched up. There was consideration and thought put into each item here. Cass wondered if this was Lord Blackburn’s only place of respite. "The desk and chair are from the Blackburn manor." Sir Forsythe said from behind him. Cass wasn’t surprised to hear his words. "I figured." He murmured as he looked over everything here. He hadn’t worried about it until this moment, but what if he couldn’t read the language here? That would be very detrimental to him. He had so much he needed to learn, and do, clearly, from the state of the desk. "My Lord, I’ve come with your meal." Sam called from the door and Sir Forsythe covered the distance quickly, opening the door for Sam to roll in a wooden trolley filled with a few covered dishes. "I have some bad news. Lady Ava got to a few of the foods we had stockpiled, so your meals are unfortunately going to be reduced until I can source some safer options for you." Cass nodded, his eyes scanning over the papers before him. Sam approached from the right side, and Cass watched him from the corner of his eye as he unloaded a few of the plates onto that side of the desk. It was surprising that he knew that Cass was left handed, but maybe Lord Blackburn had also been so. Cass’ worries were quickly calmed as he was able to read the papers before him. He let out a soft sigh of relief as Sam took the lids off of the trays. At least it looked like food, but it was quite plain. Simple fruits, veggies, and what looked like steamed chicken. Not a sauce in sight. Well, he should have anticipated that in some regard. He clearly didn’t get this skinny for no reason. Sir Forsythe shifted, his jaw tightening as he looked at the food before turning his gaze forward. He was clearly displeased about something, and Cass chuckled. "Don’t hold your tongue, Sir Forsythe. I did ask you to tell me everything about myself that I currently don’t remember. You won’t be disciplined for having a loose tongue right now." Sir Forsythe sighed. "But that’s only for now?" He asked and Cass grinned and Sam froze, his movements stopping as Cass laughed. "Oh, you caught on quickly. Good job. I can’t have a man who doesn’t read in between the lines protecting me, now can I?" Cass pulled the chair back slightly, slipping into it and sitting down. It was surprising to him how quickly he had recovered. He wasn’t woozy, or wobbling. He actually felt quite strong. Why had he felt so weak earlier? Was something triggering it? He’d have to look into it once he had more of Lord Blackburn’s memories, and the details of the book. "Well, that is the reason you selected me to come with you from the Duke’s manor." Sir Forsythe revealed. "That, and I was your Father’s personal guard before the current Duke took power back." Sir Forsythe had no emotion as he said those words, but Cass was sure he had opinions about it. It was the way he was standing that made him think so. Tall back, arms clasped behind his back, legs spread apart. He probably didn’t like that the title hadn’t been passed down to Lord Blackburn and instead to his grandfather. Cass also wondered what had caused his Father to lose his title. It was clear that was what it was. What kind of scandal did he get into that made his Father come back from retirement to take up the mantle? What had happened to taint the Blackburn name that everyone knew, but no one spoke about? And where was his Mother? No one had really spoken about her this whole time. Was she dead? How did she die? There were a lot of questions, but Cass would have to wait. Byron was out gathering information, and Sir Forsythe and Sam were here now. He could be patient. Once he figured out where they were in the book, then he could panic. For now, there was no use crying over spilt milk. "I see. So? What did you think of me before, Sir Forsythe?" Cass asked, putting his elbows down on the worn wooden desk, leaning his chin against his hands with a wide smile on his lips. Sir Forsythe gave him a weary look. "Uh, well, you are my Lord." He started and Cass nodded. "Of course. And?" He prompted and Sam finished unpacking the trolley and took a step to the side, making himself invisible. "Well, before I...I pitied you, my Lord." It wasn’t an uncommon thing. It was clear that Sir Forsythe expected Cass to fly into a rage. It was a great dishonour for someone of a lower class to say that pitied a noble. Cass could understand that much, but he wasn’t a noble by nature. Cass was a regular human before coming to this world, and most class systems had been dissolved. At least, in theory. But Cass had never cared about such things. "Alright. What else?" He replied, taking Sir Forsythe by surprise. "You aren’t...upset, my Lord?" He asked carefully and Cass chuckled. "Have you said something to upset me? You clearly aren’t saying it to hurt me, and from your words, something must have happened in my past to make me pitiful. What? Did someone in my family bring shame to the family name?" Sir Forsythe’s jaw tightened. "I’m not an idiot, Sir Forsythe. I can at least read the room even with my memories mostly gone. I can tell that others don’t like me, yelling comes far too easily to me, and I’m not close to my wife, or her other husbands. Clearly, either the problem is me, or involving me." Sir Forsythe dropped his head, staring at his boots for a moment before he sighed. When he raised his gaze, it was hard, determined. "Sire, you were a terror. As a child, you were a very good kid. You have always been smart, but...when your Mother...When Lady Blackburn betrayed the family your Father fell into despair. Lord Blackburn didn’t even wait a week before he had forced the other members of the family to strip him of his title and took back control of the Blackburn name. He...He tried to have another child, but it failed, so you remained the successor to the Blackburn name." it was clear that the words hurt Sir Forsythe. It was reasonable. A part of Cass hurt too. It was a foreign part, since he’d never had family outside of his sister before, but it felt old. The ache inside of him must have come from Lord Blackburn, and Cass rubbed his chest absently at the ache. "I see. So, I was neglected then?" Cass asked and Sir Forsythe’s face twisted. "No. You were given everything." He replied, but that told Cass something else. He was neglected, just in a different way. He’d seen what that kind of neglect did to kids. They lashed out, using their wealth as a shield. When Sir Forsythe had called him a terror, he meant it. Cass chuckled, dropping his head into his hand and shook his head. "Alright. So? Where is my Father now?" He asked, raising his head to look at Sir Forsythe. He had an almost pitying look on his face. "His whereabouts are unknown, my Lord, and Lord Blackburn declared he would punish anyone who searched for him, or uttered his name on the grounds with flogging." Cass had a feeling that there was something deeper to what Lady Blackburn had done, but Sir Forsythe wasn’t going to say. The man seemed to have truly cared for his Father. Especially from the way he spoke about him. That was a deep loyalty, and Cass wondered how on earth that had transferred in any regard towards Lord Blackburn. Especially if he had been a terror like he’d said. Was it the pity? Or something else?