Chapter 49 - Nightly talk

Chapter 49: Chapter 49 - Nightly talk How did it reach this point? I thought that I had it all under control, that I was playing the role of a 7-year-old well. When did she begin suspecting me? What should I do??? "..." She’s not saying anything. Gods, I’ve fucked up hard this time. Ugh. "Yaci... I didn’t hide it because I wanted to fool you, or anything like that. It’s just... How am I supposed to simply tell people things like, ’hey, I’m seven, but I actually have memories of another life’? Who would have believed it?" "I know... It’s still too much to take in. I always felt like there was something weird with the stuff you talk about sometimes, like you’re more mature than you appear. But this..." "I understand. But I haven’t changed; I’m still the same person as before." "How old were you in your other life?" "... Forty." I breathe deeply before telling her. "So you’re an adult. I see." "In this life I’m still a child, anyway. And my mother is still my mother." "That’s not fair... This whole time I was thinking that I was dealing with a child. But you aren’t. Not when you have forty years of memories." "It’s not like those memories are the me who is here. They are like they belong to another person and not to me." Yes, I’m lying to her. I’m desperate, okay? I’m trying to cool off the situation. I’m not proud of it. "Then tell me everything. If you want me to still trust you, then don’t try to deceive me. I want to know who you were before being born in this world, and how you got your memories back here." I guess I have no choice. Not if I want to still have her by my side. There is no way out of or around the issue. So I tell her. Not everything, because I was a person with a hectic life on Earth. But a decent summary of my experiences and (lack of) accomplishments. Then I reach the way I died and was reborn here, and how I had all my memories the instant I came to this world. "And you already know what happened afterwards, with my mother and everything. She really is my mother. Even with all those memories, she is the only mother I have." "I believe you." "Huh?" "After all the time we’ve been together, and seeing you talking right now... I get it. I know how much you love her. Even now." "Thank you, Yaci." "And the Loa made that plan, taking your real age into account." "Y-yeah... I guess so." "Now I understand why you were ok with it. And why do you trust them even though they put you in mortal danger?" "..." "But you shouldn’t ignore my feelings on the matter. Child or not child, I don’t want to see you hurt. Like, ever again." "I’m sorry..." I make my best lost puppy face, which is highly effective. "Don’t... Ngh... What am I supposed to do when you look at me like that? Okay, okay. I accept your apologies. But you’re too unfair." She lies back down again. "Still, both our mothers are suffering there. And for what? What did we gain coming here?" "I feel the same way. But at the same time, there’s a side of me that wants to trust the Loa. I think that they do have a plan." "They do have a plan. I just don’t know if it’s a plan for us or just a plan that uses us." "One fact is that without me, Lovelace wouldn’t have been freed." "Yes, but what does that have to do with our mothers?" "I don’t know... What I do know, though, is that mother knows stuff about the goddess. Stuff that is considered a secret in human society. Maybe the goal is to have them meet." "To have Lovelace and your mother meet? For what?" "I never asked Mother the reason she was enslaved to begin with. And I have a suspicion that it has to do with her knowledge or her bloodline. Or both." "Her bloodline?" "Yes... I have this title on the Adventuring System. About having a royal bloodline whose effect is to be able to learn extra information from objects related to the goddess." "What? And it comes from her?" "I don’t know for sure, but the kind of knowledge she has makes me think that it does indeed come from her." "And so what? How is it connected?" "I don’t know. I was already planning to ask Lovelace about it anyway. After all, she’s the one who implemented the system. It looks like a weird loophole to put inside it." "And you’re talking like an adult again." "I’m sorry..." "You act childish most of the time, but when we’re talking about serious stuff, you’re always so mature." "..." "But don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone." "Thank you." "It’s nothing. Your maturity at some points in our conversations always sounded weird. I’ve gotten used to it over time, and now that I know the reason, I get less spooked by it." "..." "In any case, the Loa told us that it would take two more years for us to circle back to the Oasis near the city." "Yes... If we follow that plan, then we’ll have the full force of the tribe to help with the rescue and to receive everyone we manage to free." "Yeah..." "That’s why we decided on this course of action to begin with, remember? More than anything we could retrieve in this journey." "I know. I just got angry because I feel like the Loa just used us for their own goals, adding more suffering to them." "I understand your feeling... But if we’re talking about suffering and time, Lovelace has had it really bad as well." "I know. And I feel bad for her for reacting like this. Guess I’m the one who has been acting like a child in this." "You’re not acting like a child. Your reaction is very natural. It’s just that some things are bigger than us and our will." "You’re right." I hug her, trying to comfort her. She hugs me back. It looks like having my biggest secret exposed only brought us even closer in the end. Which is a huge relief.