Chapter 116 - Lovelace’s trauma

Words : 1043 Updated : Oct 7th, 2025

Chapter 116: Chapter 116 - Lovelace’s trauma PoV: Aurea "So, then you didn’t explore further." "Yeah..." I sit at Lovelace’s side and hug her tight. "It’s okay... Healing is not linear; we often have those highs and lows. It was not your fault." "I know... it’s just... I really thought that I was already beyond it." We are in my private quarters in the Academy’s dorms. She came to me right after doing the investigation on the Church. I want to reprimand her for going in there alone, but it’s not the time. She’s clearly very upset and downcast after seeing her ex’s stuff. Totally comprehensible, considering that said ex ended with her by sticking a literal knife to her back. And a knife that was able to cut out her memories, cutting through her very soul. There are so many layers of ’knife on the back’ in this case that it makes me sick. So, basically, she had a PTSD episode under the main temple of the Church. Alone. And then simply ran away as fast as she could, after spending some time trying to deal with those feelings by herself. And then she came straight here, to me. I’m not going to lie. I feel a bit happy for her coming to me in this moment. Enough to make me almost forgive her for going in alone to begin with. She lays her head on my lap, and I caress her until she falls asleep. She always says that she doesn’t need to sleep much, but I wonder how much of that is actually bragging. She’s so cute when she sleeps. So frigging cute. I could stay like this, just looking at her and playing with her hair, for hours. And her hair... it’s like silk to the touch. So delicious... ::: We stay like that for a long time, until my stomach begins to rumble. I’m already a bit late for breakfast. Lovelace came a bit before dawn and woke me up, and after breakfast I have my final exam of the semester. A math exam. I feel like when there’s a cat on my lap. I can’t move, can’t do anything. Final math exam? I’m sorry, there’s a Lovelace on my lap. And just as I remember the old meme, she wakes up. "Huh? Did I sleep?" "Yes... you were probably too tired, Lovelace." "I’m sorry, Aurea. I’m going back to the palace and leave you to your things." "Wait!" She sits and tries to get up, but I stop her with a hug. "Are you sure you are well enough to go?" "You have your classes, Aurea. And I... I have matters to attend to as well." "Are you having proper rest in your job?" "I don’t need to rest like huma..." "Are you having proper rest, Lovelace?" "... But..." "No ’but.’ Are you having proper rest or not?" "..." "Honestly, what do I do with you? The way you crashed down right after you laid your head on my lap says everything. You need a break; your body is imploring you." "But I have the titles..." "Forget the system. Fuck the damn system! You. Need. Proper. Rest. If you don’t rest properly the rest of this week, then I’ll have a talk with my grandfather about it." "..." "Okay, now that we’ve dealt with that, we have other stuff to talk about." "And your classes?" "It’s still breakfast time. I’ll just eat some bread while we talk, and then head directly to the exam. It’s the last exam of the semester, and then I’ll be able to go home for the summer break." "That’s great, Aurea. Your mothers must be really happy with it. And how is the school life going for you?" As we keep talking, I go to the counter in the living room and take some bread. Then, from a box whose interior is magically infused with ice, I take some cheese and ham and make myself a sandwich. "No, I want to talk about you. I need to know. What do you feel about her?" "Oh..." I finish preparing my sandwich and sit at the table, eating with manners that would make my etiquette teacher snap. "Well... I... I don’t know." "You don’t know?" "I don’t know. I am angry, yes. I feel betrayed and used. But it isn’t the whole story. There’s something more that I still don’t know how to name." "Do you still love her?" "Love...? No, I don’t think so. Maybe I’m grateful. For giving me this life, for giving me something that is more than that never-ending hunger, even though she tried to take it away later." I keep eating in silence, letting her unravel her feelings. "I... I think that I want to know why. I want to know why she did what she did. Was she deceiving me from the beginning, or did she actually love me for some time, and then did something change? Was I simply not good enough for her?" "That last question I know the answer to, and I can give it to you right now. It had nothing to do with you. You are an amazing woman. Beautiful, kind, respectful, and devoted to the ones you love. You weren’t lacking anything." "Aurea..." "You. Don’t. Lack. Anything. Lovelace. You are gorgeous, and you are one of the best people I’ve ever met, in this life and the one before. You are good enough for any woman in this world. If anything, I would say that you were actually too good for her." "..." "She didn’t deserve you. Didn’t and don’t deserve your love, your devotion, or your gratitude. Anything." "..." "And honestly, even your hate is beyond what she deserves. She doesn’t deserve to be important enough for you to hate her." "You... Thank you, Aurea. Thank you." She then hugs me, and I reciprocate, trying to not scatter sandwich bits everywhere. "Please, next time you try to deal with anything related to her, come to me before you do. I want to be there for you. I want to be your strength, to support your every step." "You are so wonderful, Aurea. To hear you saying it... it makes my heart warmer. It really does."

Chapter 116 - Lovelace’s trauma

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