Chapter 88: "My" Farewell

"Xin Yu" looked at the Kiana before him. In truth, there were many things he hadn't said. Namely, if she chose to remain silent, allowing Xin Yu to continue sacrificing, continue saving, then in the end, the broken Xin Yu would cause this world's timeline to suffer a colossal blow, to the extent that the entire world would be destroyed. Then, by leveraging the space-time power from the world's collapse, Xin Yu would continue to grow, continue to alter time within the Imaginary Tree's universe, continue to rewrite the past, causing the power of space-time to constantly expand, constantly emerge... Finally, the entire timeline of the Tree would be utterly destroyed at the hands of the Xin Yu already consumed by his obsession. And he himself... would then have a chance to go home. Yes, I destroy this world, all for the sake of going home. I'm not some lone wolf. I have my own father to support, I have friends I never got to say goodbye to. My parents divorced; it was my father who raised me, who played both father and mother, taking care of me since I was little. After I grew up, though I was neither a scholar nor a warrior, I at least had a job that could support myself and him... My father only has me! The so-called protagonists of this world, they don't need me to save them at all! They all have their own families, their own lovers, their own relatives and friends! What does it have to do with someone like me, who is completely unrelated to them! I don't owe them anything, and they don't need to owe me anything either. So, Xin Yu appeared. I bet no one would have no thoughts about this "pill of regret." Faced with the chance to change the past without any cost, how could they not be tempted? As for those people falling in love with Xin Yu, changing Xin Yu, making that incomplete self whole—that's impossible. This is Honkai Impact 3rd, a world where women love women, where heterosexual relationships have no good endings. Kiana will definitely fall in love with Raiden Mei. Bronya has Seele, who has been with her since childhood, to love. Theresa also has feelings for Cecilia. Fu Hua is an immortal who cannot be conquered by others. Murata Himeko can't save Xin Yu and won't engage in romance. Durandal and Rita are also a pair... Look, don't all these things, when counted up, indicate that no one in this world will save this person? Although, what happened with Yae Sakura was indeed a bit surprising to me, but it doesn't matter. Ultimately, it changes nothing. After all, Yae Sakura cannot restrain Xin Yu. As long as he continues to sacrifice, continues to change things, eventually, everything will become irreversible. But if there truly is someone, truly someone who falls in love with him because of the sacrifices Xin Yu made, and has the ability to stop Xin Yu... I, naturally, would also give up. In the end, that is also me, just a purer version of me, not this disgusting and sinful me buried deep within my heart now. But this is a pill of regret. This is the only thing in this world that allows one to regret. You all, who would be willing to give up the chance to regret, just to grasp the life of an unimportant person? Valkyrie who saves the world, tell me, what will you do? Kiana silently gazed at the "Xin Yu" standing opposite her, looking at the dead stillness in his eyes, at the unconcealable sense of despondency about him. "...Do you believe that no matter what effort you put in, no matter what you do, we—or rather, no one—will ever fall in love with Xin Yu?" "What else? Who was it that shouted, 'With Mei, I have the strength of a hundred people'? Who was it that said they couldn't stand being away from Mei for even a few hours? Look at those short stories, look at Honkai Impact 3rd from beginning to end... Forget it, why am I even telling you so much? As a guest, my hospitality towards you has been sufficient... Please leave, uninvited guest." "...Do you hate this story?" "...I used to like this story. Later, I came to hate this story. Now, I no longer have any feelings for this story." "Then do you think I am definitely the Kiana Kaslana from the story?" "..." "Xin Yu, you've gone too far! What do you take us for! Do you take us for bastards who can casually accept others' sacrifices, feel nothing in our hearts, and are so selfish they're worse than Otto?!" A crisp slapping sound rang out. "Xin Yu" stared blankly at Kiana, who had rushed forward and angrily slapped him. "If you did nothing, how could I possibly have any feelings for you? But precisely because you did everything, how could I possibly feel nothing at all!" "Ha... I understand. In that case, go and persuade that foolish me. Otherwise, he's about to wake up, and then it will be too late." Kiana heard this and thought his peculiar constitution, which allowed him to freely traverse space-time, was about to act up again, so she hastily departed from this depth of consciousness. "Xin Yu" sat on the floor. He looked around the solitary command room, at this unfamiliar place. This is actually quite good. The newborn me doesn't have to bear the heavy thoughts of my past self, doesn't have to carry that peculiar gaze towards this world, and can start a brand new life. And the self that represents the past will die with that guilt, with that unwillingness and resentment, with that peculiar gaze towards this world. This is great... Xin Yu, you've truly found a place for yourself in this world. Sorry, for my own sake, I infected you with the void in my heart, allowing you to gain the power of the void, all to achieve my own plan. I deliberately widened the emptiness in your heart, making you addicted to sacrificing yourself, truly addicted to the sense of satisfaction brought by others. I carried a peculiar, biased view of this world, of the people in this world. I believed that no matter what sacrifices you made, these people would not fall in love with you, no one would go out of their way to care for you, to save you, to be willing to forsake the pill of regret just to hold you tightly in their arms. I was wrong. I didn't understand this girl who grew up with me. I didn't understand this Kiana who has become real at all. The me trapped in the past can find no salvation. Only you, who walk towards the future, deserve to live a better life. "Xin Yu" silently took out a pistol from his breast pocket. [Host, doing this means you are completely abandoning the possibility of returning home.] "System, the compensation you've given me is enough. Allowing an ordinary person like me to wield the power of miracles is sufficient." [...All subroutine functions have completed their operations. According to the preset program, if the Host chooses complete self-termination, the subroutines will completely detach... The Host will also completely lose the possibility of returning home.] "It's enough. Such compensation is already enough..." He pulled the trigger. ... Xin Yu, in the outside world, opened his eyes.