Chapter 83: The Healer Cannot Heal Themself

Xin Yu's song had lulled three consciousnesses into a deep slumber; even some of the neighbors in the adjacent apartments had drifted into pleasant dreams because of it. But he alone could not find sleep. Xin Yu sat up in bed and walked out to the balcony, gazing at the pitch-black, rainy night, listening to the ceaseless patter of the raindrops. Suddenly, a figure appeared from behind him. The person had long, cherry-blossom pink hair, was dressed in a dignified kimono, and carried a cloak in her hands. "Lord God, the weather has turned cold. Put this on." The cloak was draped over Xin Yu's shoulders. It even carried the faint scent of cherry blossoms. Xin Yu knew this was a garment his wife had sewn for him with her own hands, infused with a specially prepared incense that gave it a particularly wonderful fragrance. Though he hadn't felt cold before, a chill inexplicably crept over him once the cloak was on, making him pull it tighter for warmth. "Sakura... I..." Xin Yu turned, only to find no one behind him. And there was no cloak on his shoulders either... It was merely that his past life had etched itself too deeply into his memory. On a rainy night like this, he couldn't help but recall fragments of the past, and his power would then cause these fragments to briefly rematerialize in the present world. Ultimately, it was nothing more than a phantom of bygone days. "Mei... hehe... Your cooking is delicious! I love you so much!" "Bronya... I won this round! Hand over all your snacks." "Teacher Himeko... I didn't fail my exams this time." "Auntie... you're so short, hehe..." In the purest of dreams, the young woman had laid down all the burdens she currently shouldered, all the guilt she bore. Within this beautiful dream, woven from past memories, she savored a moment of the purest relaxation and happiness. Kiana seemed to have reverted to her former self, her face always adorned with a smile, always radiating joy, always appearing carefree, sunny, and cheerful. But in stark reality, a youth stood on the balcony, gazing out at the dark, rainy night, too afraid even to sleep. He feared that such beautiful dreams would make him lose the courage to move forward. He feared that his sentimentality would overwhelm him, compelling him to use his power over time once more, to forcibly return to an earlier point, to reunite with Yae Sakura again. He could do it. If he did, he would lose the vast majority of his lifespan and power. Then, he truly could live as an ordinary person, accompanying his beloved for a hundred years, and then grow old and die with her. But no... he couldn't be that selfish. The memories of those he'd lost were watching him; the deceased of Longkong City were watching him. He had promised Mobius he would save her future. So many others were waiting for him to save them. Even now, there was Kiana, trapped in suffering, struggling in a mire, needing him to extend a hand. How could he selfishly evade all this and comfortably live out a blissful century? He had made promises to others, and he absolutely had to keep them. The lingering images of heroes from his memories were still watching. Could he truly stop? Xin Yu silently gazed at the rainy night. With a single song, he could lull anyone into sleep, into a beautiful dream that would allow them to regain their spirits. But not himself. The songs he sang could not lull himself to sleep. Like a healer who cannot heal themself, he could save others, yet he was equally incapable of saving himself. ... Kiana opened her eyes, her gaze hazy with sleepiness as she surveyed her surroundings. She felt as though she had experienced a wonderful dream. In her very vague recollection of it, she seemed to have recalled many past events, which even brought her a sense of relief and a renewed desire to live. Kiana rose from the bed, suddenly feeling exceptionally light. The usual oppressive sensation of Honkai energy and the mental erosion from the Herrscher of the Void that constantly plagued her mind had both diminished significantly. This unprecedented feeling of lightness made Kiana almost want to hum a little tune. The young woman pushed open her door and walked out, discovering that the youth who had helped her last night had already woken up at some unknown time and had even prepared breakfast. "Good morning. Breakfast is ready. I trust that a beautiful young lady such as yourself wouldn't want to waste food, would you?" Looking at the smile on Xin Yu's face, Kiana, for some reason, felt that something was amiss. Why did this smile seem so strange? "Oh, I know. My heroic act of saving the damsel in distress last night, coupled with such gentle concern, must have left quite a favorable impression on you. But you don't need to stare at me so intently, you know? Even I can get a little shy..." Xin Yu's frivolous tone and laughter instantly snapped Kiana back to her senses. She looked at the youth before her with an expression of utter speechlessness. This guy was truly narcissistic. With an attitude as flippant as yours, how could anyone possibly like you? After Kiana finished her breakfast, the Class President's voice echoed in her ear. "Kiana, did you hear a song before you fell asleep last night?" "What is it, Class President?" "...That song was very peculiar. Even I was unable to resist a certain power contained within it and fell into a deep sleep. And because of that song, even now, the Herrscher of the Void is much less aggressive than before... If you could hear that song frequently, the side effects from your high-intensity battles could be alleviated, and you might even be able to borrow the Herrscher's power more often." "Is this song really that amazing?! Unfortunately, as soon as it started playing yesterday, I began to feel drowsy. I didn't even hear clearly who sang it. Even the voice itself feels a bit vague now; I don't even know if it was male or female." "I can still recall some of it. It seemed to be a male voice... Perhaps you could ask this mysterious youth." Hearing Kiana's question, Xin Yu first paused for a moment, then looked at her with a somewhat puzzled expression. "What song? What are you talking about? I went to bed quite late last night, and I didn't hear any singing, not even before I fell asleep." "Really?" "Why would I lie to you? Besides, I've lived here for a long time, and I've never heard anyone singing late at night. Wouldn't that disturb the neighbors?" After hearing this, Kiana scratched her head in confusion. That's right. If he had really sung it, he would surely be boasting about it now, thinking he'd scored points with me. Since he hasn't said anything, it probably wasn't him. After Kiana left, the somewhat frivolous smile that had been on Xin Yu's face gradually faded. He walked into the kitchen and began to wash the used bowls and chopsticks. The sound of running water and the clinking of crockery echoed in the solitary room. Just as it had been when he first awakened.