Chapter 89: Funny Version of 007

Words : 1164 Updated : Sep 28th, 2025

Chapter 89 of "Rebirth as an American Tycoon" begins with suspenseful moments: "Boss, Mr. Atkinson is here, said he had an appointment with you," the secretary, feeling... Don’t miss it!

"Boss, Mr. Atkinson is here, said he had an appointment with you," the secretary, feeling in a good mood in her chiffon blouse and A-line skirt, chirped. "Alright, have him come in and brew us some coffee," William White decided for him. There was no fancy English tea here; those folks were too picky, down to the exact number of stirs needed when adding milk. "Got the contract signed?" William White asked with a smile. "Yes, Mr. White, my agent is handling the paperwork," Rowan Atkinson responded with his usual deadpan expression. "Call me William," William White waved dismissively. "You've read the script, right? What do you think?" Speak of the script, Rowan Atkinson was thrilled. He loved the script to bits, especially since it was tailored just for him. Johnny English, simply put, was a funny version of 007. You could say it poked fun at 007. Your 007 isn't invincible? I'll give you a goofy agent. Your 007 isn't a walking artillery? Mine is just all show, no substance. You have high-tech gadgets? No problem, due to budget issues, my guy uses bootlegged black tech. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't, and just when you need them most, they fail. Rowan Atkinson was very satisfied. As a Brit, he'd been displeased with 007 for quite a while. How could a super spy be a human cannon? It was absurd. One basic selection criterion for spies is no handsome guys. The best is a forgettable face, so people won't remember you as soon as you walk out the door. Those with distinctive features aren't wanted, regardless of talent, unless they're one-time-use products. After all, everyone is saving the world. Super spy works, and so does Johnny English -- plus, it's cost-effective. When this movie releases, United Artists probably will be mad. It's just too clear-cut. Plagiarism? Ha! Everything is reverse-engineered, alright? If you can make spy films, can't I? This could end with a higher box office, since the audience relates more. Nobody likes pretty boys -- people love underdog stories. ... At the moment, bringing out Johnny English clearly intended to package Rowan Atkinson, leaving people puzzled as to why a top student would want to become an actor. Isn't researching the origins of black holes more fitting? Joking about having an IQ like 007, yet being a scholar? If you love acting so much, why did you bother with science and engineering? White Films wasn't what it used to be. This casting call was bustling. Although it didn't compare to Raiders of the Lost Ark, many people were still eager to try their luck. Raiders of the Lost Ark was a big production. Their preparations were more complicated than those of William White. In fact, their script wasn't even finished yet, and filming might not start until after June. Hoping for a release this year was unrealistic. Even if it were completed, it wouldn't be shown unless you wanted to go head-to-head with Home Alone sequel for the Christmas slot. George Lucas would have been crazy to do that, and even if he won, it would have been meaningless. He had no quarrel with the almighty dollar. Even though the distribution was handled by Paramount, they couldn't profit much from it. ... No one knew how to categorize William White's films. You might call them low-budget, but with marketing costs, they were over ten million. In that era, ten million dollars wasn't considered low-budget; at the very least, it was a standard movie. Anything over twenty million was a major production. The perplexing part was the box office. It seemed high-class, and until it bombed, no one regarded his movies as small productions. Regarding timing, these two movies truly might have clashed. Beverly Hills Cop was already in the late stages of filming. At White Films' pace, it would essentially fall into the summer release slot. With Home Alone sequel in the Christmas slot currently in the planning stages, Johnny English couldn't compete for Christmas. That would be self-sabotage. Since both were targeting next summer, a collision was inevitable. Fortunately, the two companies weren't rivals, so staggering the release dates was enough. William White had other thoughts, planning the film's premiere in London to maximize benefits. The change in film distribution wasn't simple. Everyone based their purchasing prices on North American box office sales. A European release beforehand? How do you even price that? William White didn't care for such concerns. His team had to follow his orders: release in London on June 15, and in North America a week later. Typically, the summer release slot started on June 1. If Lucas was smart, he might even release a bit earlier, giving both films about a month's gap. ... For Hollywood strugglers, White Films was almost a holy land, with so many people becoming famous overnight. Just look at that black guy and the kid -- the endorsement deals were endless. White Films wasn't the company it once was. Their movies now also operated in the ten-million-dollar range, and the paychecks weren't half bad. A complex casting process like this hardly needed the boss's direct involvement. Hiring a casting director was suitable, and he only needed to make the final decisions. ... The plot setup for the first Johnny English had issues. It started well, with the gangster wiping out the intelligence agency, leaving the weakest agent to solve the case. But the later plot fell apart. The crown symbolizes royalty, but stealing it doesn't make you a queen. John's laugh lines were hard to grasp. William White decided to tweak it a bit. Rescuing the kidnapped queen was a more solid plan. This concept was clearly more reliable than ruining a coronation. Although the premiere was set in London, the primary market was still North America. The plot had to make the Americans happy. British comedians in Hollywood were seeing an upswing. William White planned to make a British-style comedy film. ... Leaving the preparations aside, William White continued with his filming. Beverly Hills Cop was simpler to manage, with all the exterior shots in Beverly Hills. Compared to the chaotic streets of Greater Los Angeles, shooting here was smooth without many bystanders interfering. Many Hollywood films found their locations here for obvious reasons: good public safety, not too densely populated, and highly identifiable exteriors lent audiences a strong sense of immersion. Of course, there were drawbacks. Shooting in Beverly Hills was expensive as all get out. While the local police were cooperative, their fees were non-negotiable. As long as you could pay enough dollars, you wouldn't even need to find extras. Extras weren't cheap; they cost more than just a box lunch. If not for the fast filming speed, this money was quite significant. ***** https://www.patreon.com/Sayonara816.

Chapter 89: Funny Version of 007

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