Chapter 37: I’ll Rate You A Four-Star Review

Chapter 37 - I’ll Rate You A Four-Star Review Inside the formation, Lordi Payne sat quietly for a while, his ears straining against the oppressive silence. The absence of sound was total—Chen Haunt and his crew seemed to have vanished entirely. His eyes flickered with a mix of suspicion and calculation. Sheathing the Blade of Life Hater, he rose to his feet and picked a direction at random, darting into the dense woods. The forest around him mirrored the ones he had passed through earlier—thick with towering trees, tangled vines, and a damp, earthy scent. But there was one glaring difference: the eerie, unnatural quiet. No bugs chirped, no birds sang. The only sound was the faint rustle of grass and leaves under his feet as he moved. Lordi Payne sped up, his steps quick and deliberate. Suddenly, a break in the trees ahead caught his attention—a sliver of light piercing through the gloom. He quickened his pace, his heart pounding as he burst into the clearing—only to find himself right back where he had started, the same spot where he had sat moments ago. His jaw tightened. He picked another direction and tried again, this time smashing through the undergrowth and marking details along the way. But no matter what he did, the result was the same. Every path led him back to the original clearing. His markers vanished as if they had never existed, the forest resetting itself flawlessly each time. "No way out," Lordi Payne muttered under his breath. "The only good thing is this array isn't harming me—yet." He paused, his mind racing. If he couldn't escape, he'd have to make the best of his situation. "I'd better practice the Blood Lothgar Footwork Art first. Master it, and I can call Lady Willow to check my progress. If she's not here... well, I've got one last card to play." Decision made, Lordi Payne sat cross-legged. He muttered inwardly, "System, I want to cultivate." At his current cultivation strength, even if he managed to escape this trap, he'd barely match Gum Torin in a straight fight. But Chen Haunt's squad had five members. Beyond Gum Torin, Chen Mave was the weakest, but Hwong Hyun and Sil Deshah were both fifth-layer cultivators—game-changers in any confrontation. And then there was Chen Haunt himself, looming at the sixth layer. A head-on fight? No chance of survival. He'd have to bide his time, wait for the right moment to strike. With Chen Haunt's crew gone for now, he could stick to his original plan. But he also had to prepare for the worst-case scenario—if all his plans failed, mastering an extra technique might give him a slim chance of survival. The system's voice chimed in his mind, cheerful and mechanical. ~ Ding! *System Notification Chime* [AllFullOS: Version 1.0.0] > All-Smart Full-Host Cultivation SystemTM is at your service! ... Lordi Payne snapped, "Select Blood Lothgar Footwork Art, Smart Duration! One-Click-Cultivation!" [AllFullOS: Version 1.0.0] > [OCC] - One-Click-Cultivation activated. > Features: Temporary practice, smart duration, and questionable decision-making. ... Almost instantly, a familiar sensation washed over him—a loss of control as the system took over his body. His blood churned in a fresh, intricate pattern, starting slow but quickly accelerating. A river-like roar built inside his veins, his steps growing faster and more precise. A faint blood-shadow trailed behind his body. Lordi Payne marveled inwardly. This speed was much quicker than his previous pace. And this was just after a few minutes of cultivation. Too bad Lothgar City had Jarl Drainwood, a Foundation Stage cultivator. If not for his presence, Lordi Payne would have holed up in the city and practiced this technique overnight. With that kind of preparation, Chen Haunt's earlier vine attack would never have snatched Chen Mave so easily! As he mused, his body suddenly came to a halt. Lordi Payne's mind sparked with realization. Yes! A chime echoed in his mind. ~ Ding! System Notification Chime ~ [AllFullOS: Version 1.0.0] > Scanning cultivation requirements... Detected lack of Cultivation Material: [Essence Flesh] (Error: 191) - Host inventory: EMPTY - Error: Insufficient materials for cultivation. > Executing optimal solution... Pending... "Essence flesh?" Lordi Payne chuckled dryly inside, far calmer than during his previous cultivation. Essence flesh? He was dirt-poor—no cultivation materials on him whatsoever. He'd already checked—this array held nothing but him, trees, and bushes. No critters, no animals, nothing. If the system wanted flesh-food, it could go fetch it itself! Good luck with that! As he smirked at his thought, the system chimed again. ~ Ding! System Notification Chime ~ [AllFullOS: Version 1.0.0] > Pending... > All-Smart Full-Host Cultivation SystemTM has decided to be GENEROUS today! > High-grade Essence Flesh will be gifted to the host for FREE. > Processing... Before Lordi Payne could react, his body lurched into motion. Like before, his speed was insane—faster than during the initial period of practicing the Footwork Art! Yanking the Blade of Life Hater free, he bolted into the woods, weaving through turns too fast to track. Then, to his horror, he watched himself dash toward a massive tree and slam heavily into its trunk! "System?!" Lordi Payne yelped, terrified—but no pain came. His vision blurred, and suddenly, the dead silence broke. He heard the gurgling of streams, the chirping of birds—he was outside the maze array! Stunned, then thrilled, he said inwardly, his tone sincere, "System, I'll rate you a four-star review later!" The terrifying lesson of pill stealth from Fairy Lith had given him nightmares. A five-star rating was off-limits—too risky. Who knew what this dumb AwfulOS system's "review reward" might be this time? But the system had performed exceptionally, saving him from the trap. Giving it a four-star rating felt fair. The system ignored him, stone-cold, controlling his body as it tore through the forest at breakneck speed. Lordi Payne watched, resigned but curious. Clearly, the system had set a target, and whatever it was, it had to be better than sitting trapped in that cursed array. Since activating this system, this was the first "gift" he didn't dread—at least not immediately. But that fleeting sense of ease vanished completely as the system led him over hills, through thick tangles of vines, and deep into a vast underground cave. The air grew colder, the darkness thicker, until they entered a chilling nest. Lordi Payne's stomach dropped as he took in the sight: spider silk draped everywhere, and piles of spider eggs filled half the lair. The realization hit him like a bucket of ice water. He remembered what Jarl Drainwood had said earlier—the name sprang to mind instantly. Man-Faced Spider! "Fucking knew it..." Lordi Payne muttered, his nerves numbed by panic. He watched helplessly as the system took control, stabbing each hatching spiderling with the Blade of Life Hater. Then, it began circulating the Footwork Art within his body, draining the lives of the spiderlings dry. The system chimed meticulously, its voice cold and mechanical. ~ Ding! System Notification Chime ~ [AllFullOS: Version 1.0.0] > Cultivation Material: [High-grade Essence Flesh] - Status: Gifted successfully. > Resuming cultivation process... As the unhatched spiderlings turned to dry ash, a flood of power surged through Lordi Payne. Spiritual energy erupted from his tailbone to his skull, igniting his blood like a thriving wildfire. A tidal roar thundered within his dantian, and the next instant, his body seemed to explode. Blood mist burst from his pores, cloaking him in a crimson veil. He rocketed upward, zipping back and forth, circling the nest in the blink of an eye dozens of times. The blood-shadow trailing behind him thickened, taking on a near-solid form. At a glance, it looked like multiple figures dashing around—illusions blending real and fake, impossible to pin down. Lordi Payne silently praised the Blood Lothgar Footwork Art. If he had mastered this technique earlier, Chen Haunt's crew would only catch him in their dreams. "Fairy Lith's too kind..." The thought flickered briefly in Lordi Payne's mind, only to be quickly extinguished as he remembered the mess he was in. The Abyss Pit Sect was a den of vipers, and its disciples were downright ghoulish. Chen Haunt's crew were just outer sect disciples, and yet they were already as vicious as snakes. The thought of Fairy Lith ascending to Sect Successor—starting from the outer sect, clawing her way through the inner sect, and finally reaching the pinnacle—sent a chill down his spine. Everyone in this hellhole had fought their way to the top with ruthless cunning and merciless ambition. He didn't dare slap a "kind girl" label on Fairy Lith just yet. Who knew what her true face looked like? For now, Fairy Lith had left him a narrow path to survival. That was good enough. Lordi Payne steadied his mind, pushing aside distractions, and focused on the circulation of the Footwork Art's energy flowing through his body. He immersed himself in the cultivation process, letting the system take the reins. Time blurred, and he lost track of how long he had been at it. Then, abruptly, his body stopped. The system chimed, its voice cheerful and mechanical. ~ Ding! System Notification Chime ~ [AllFullOS: Version 1.0.0] > Cultivation session status: COMPLETE > Host control: RESTORED > Thank you for using the All-Smart Full-Host Cultivation SystemTM (AllFullOS v1.0.0) > Feedback request: - We value your opinion! (No, really, we do.) - If you are satisfied with our service, please give us a five-star rating. > Tap to Rate: [☆☆☆☆☆] Lordi Payne didn't hesitate. Ignoring the chance to explore the nest further, he grabbed the Blade of Life Hater and bolted. As he fled, he slapped the system with a one-star review. [AllFullOS: Version 1.0.0] > [★☆☆☆☆] > Submitted. Thanks for your feedback. "Fuck you AwfulOS! You absolute piece of filth!" "You vile wretch of a motherfucker only deserve a one-star negative rating, you hear me?!" "Do you even comprehend, you miserable piece of trash?!" "Never, ever, in a million forevers, will you deserve anything better than the lowest rating, you heap of utter rubbish!"