Chapter 194 - 194 Birthday Gift

Words : 1669 Updated : Sep 29th, 2025

194: Birthday Gift 194: Birthday Gift Leaving the restaurant, I walked outside and rounded the corner, stopping my feet before an alley just behind the establishment. I said I was going to the bathroom in a hurry, but on the way through the building, I didn’t think about where I was going, letting my feet carry me wherever it was that they wanted. Maybe I just needed some fresh air. Dipping slightly into the dark alley, veiled by an overcast of shadow from the streetlamps, I wanted to get away from the crowds of people strolling through the town centre, even if just a little. Of course, I could have just as easily disappeared into the Library, but... I was reluctant to do so. At that moment, I wanted to be on Earth. To feel its atmosphere. “...Damn it...” Sinking down to a crouching position with my back against the wall, I muttered, feeling my fists repeatedly clenching and unclenching by my side. ‘...I ruined it again.’ It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. Although, it hadn’t happened enough to be counted on two hands, and it certainly wasn’t something to be proud of. In fact, it still getting to me now was more embarrassing than anything else. ‘Ina’s right... It’s been two-and-a-half years...’ Nevertheless, even though I knew she was right, it still... I still couldn’t forgive it. Or, more accurately, I couldn’t forgive myself. Ina was also right in that she wouldn’t have wanted me to keep feeling like this, but I couldn’t help it. I was stronger, I was more capable, I was more confident... and yet, I was unable to move past what happened. I lost my temper back when I met Leinth, and now I was back to doing it again with my own family. ‘...Maybe I should just leave.’ Suddenly, the thought crossed my mind to go to the Library. Not just to go there to clear my mind, not just to go there to take on a Contract. Permanently. After all, if I was unable to prevent myself from ruining fun family events like this, on Ella’s birthday no less, then maybe... maybe it’d be better if I wasn’t here at all. Of course, it wasn’t just because of that. I also knew things weren’t likely to get better in the future. No matter how determined I was to keep everything secret, there was no telling how long that would last. Like a ticking bomb waiting to explode, all it would take is one person to figure out what I truly was to bring everything crumbling down. That bomb’s timer would only start once I’d assassinated John Pierce, but when I thought about it, maybe it was better to remove the bomb before it even had a chance to explode. My confidence had increased manifold since joining the Service, but no amount of self-assurance would be enough to make me believe that I could keep everything hidden forever, regardless of how hard I tried. More than anything else, that was foolishness. All I could do was prepare to lessen the impact of the inevitable. ‘...Alright. Librarian, have you found–‘ “Enki...?” Interrupting my inner voice, my name was abruptly called. Instinctively snapping my head, I saw Ella, the backdrop of distant shops and streetlamps surrounding her shadowed figure in an aura of light. If it wasn’t for Heightened Senses enhancing my eyesight, I probably wouldn’t have been able to make out her expression at that moment. However, I could see it plain as day. “...I’m sorry.” Apologising before she could get another word out, I rose to my feet. “I made things awkward on your birthday and ruined the meal. I hid the fact I had already been to the Tower from you, and I lied about my reason for why I couldn’t go with you to the examination centre. I apologise for all of it.” Seeing her eyes gradually widen in real-time as I spoke, I could tell she was probably taken aback. “N-no, it’s okay... I forgive you, and particularly with what Ina said, I understand your reaction. You don’t have to apologise like that. I just hope that you’re alright...” Not expecting her to say all that, I only belatedly realised I shouldn’t have been so surprised. Ella was always like that, very understanding, and sometimes too kind. That was all the more reason why I didn’t want her to know what I was. “...Thank you. I fucked up, so I wanted to apologise. That’s all. And, I have something for you.” Reaching into my suit pocket, I secretly pulled something from Storage. “Here.” Holding the golden amulet in the shape of a star out to her, I gently took her hand and placed the item on her palm, closing her hand around it to ensure it didn’t fall. “Happy Birthday.” “...Enki.” “Don’t tell me I didn’t have to.” Blinking at my words, she lightly shook her head. “No, I know we agreed not to say that... Thank you. I just...” Watching her unable to express her thoughts in the exact way she wanted, I decided to take the opportunity to finish what I was going to say. “Ella, I’ll be honest with you. I really hope you don’t challenge the Tower.” “Ever?” “Ever.” “...That’s a big request to make of an Awakened. I never particularly wanted to go there anyway, so I don’t mind, but do you mind if I ask why? It’s not just because it’s dangerous, is it?” “That’s part of the reason.” “Only part?” I paused at her question, turning the cogs in my brain to think of an excuse. Of course, the real reason was that I didn’t want to have to “stop her” from climbing the Tower, but how could I convince her in a believable way without just saying “it’s dangerous”...? Thankfully, I already knew she was reluctant to put a stop to her normal life and go somewhere where her life would constantly be on the line like the Tower, and her words just now affirmed that, but I couldn’t be too sure that she wouldn’t change her mind in the future. “Is it hard to explain?” Before I could come up with something, she said that, causing me to release a small sigh. “...Yes.” Immediately after I responded like so, an ever-so-slight smile floated onto her face. “I understand. You don’t need to say anything else, I won’t go to the Tower. Does that make you happy?” She asked it in a way that was intended to tease, but more than anything else, I was relieved. “It does. Thank you... Oh, and one more thing. Please promise me to wear that at all times. Even if you’re sleeping or showering, you can’t take it off. It sounds weird, but I need you to promise me that.” Gesturing towards the Amulet of the Holy Sun in her hand, I watched her glance at the accessory, silently bringing it up and wearing it around her neck. The moment she put it on, it vanished. “Oh... It’s magical.” “It’s invisible while you wear it, but I’m hoping it will protect you.” “I see...” After I said that, for some reason, Ella turned her face down towards the floor, still holding onto the camouflaged amulet with one hand at her chest. I was unable to see her face like that, but I could tell she appreciated the gift. Glad that she seemed like she would wear it all the time like I asked, I couldn’t help the corners of my lips from curling up. “...I suppose we should get back inside. Everyone must be worried we were gone for too long.” Abruptly saying that at some point, Ella promptly turned around to return inside the restaurant. “You can go in, but I’ll probably leave.” Calling out to her from behind, she halted, spinning around to face me with a clearly shocked look. “You’re not coming back to eat?” Shaking my head, I gave her a bitter smile. “I feel bad for ruining the night. I don’t want to make things more awkward by going back in, so I’ll just go home from here. Anyway, I still feel like getting some fresh air.” “...Are you sure? I don’t mind waiting outside–” “Ella. You can’t not enjoy your own birthday meal. I also don’t want you waiting for me, okay? Have a good time with everyone.” A brief moment of silence passed between us, but I knew she understood. Like I said, she did that too much for her own good. “Alright then...” Exiting the alley together, I walked her a short distance to the front of the restaurant. “Ah, before you go, can you tell Ina something for me? That she was right, and I’m sorry for just leaving like that.” “Of course, I’ll let her know.” “Thank you.” Nodding, I gave her one last smile and watched her open the restaurant door, stopping to face me just before going inside. “Enki. Have a good night. I’ll see you later.” “You too. Happy birthday again.” ‘And I’m sorry for making things awkward.’ Withholding that final line from exiting my mouth, I watched her back disappear into the restaurant. “...” In the following moment, the smile wiped itself from my face. For some reason, now that I was alone again, something inside felt empty. Vacant. I didn’t know what it was, but just like everything else, it was cold. ‘...Librarian. Get that Contract ready.’ Turning away from the restaurant, I walked away from all the hustle and bustle of the surrounding nightlife. I shouldn’t return for a long time.

Chapter 194 - 194 Birthday Gift

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