Chapter 34: Revenge of the Wronged One!

Chapter 34 - Revenge of the Wronged One!Rae wasn't the type to let a crushed crotch incident slide. No. He was a goblin. And goblins hold grudges like dragons hoard gold. So he bided his time, massaging his wounded pride—and his bruised nuts—while plotting his revenge. It was only a matter of when, not if. And then, about half an hour later, fate decided to serve up a new distraction. Alex tugged on the reins, slowing the horse to a steady trot. They were approaching the edge of the forest now—where the sun faded and the trees leaned in like gossiping old men with secrets. The deeper they went, the more Rae's bravado shrank. He gulped, eyes scanning the gloom. Something about this place tickled the back of his skull—like a whisper just out of earshot. It wasn't fear exactly. No, it was older than that. Older and hungrier. Then, after ten more minutes of riding through the narrowing trail, Alex called out, his voice cutting through the thickening air. "Haah, they're here already." Rae perked up immediately, craning his tiny green neck and leaning to the side to peek past Alex's broad back. What he saw made his eyes widen—and not just from the forest creepiness. Five figures stood ahead, casually tending to their horses, adjusting packs, chatting quietly. But it wasn't the humans that caught Rae's attention. It was the five goblins. Rae blinked. 'Holy mother of moss...' This was the first time he'd seen others of his kind outside a mirror. Even during the recent ride through the neighborhood, the streets had been empty. It was too early, and his area was practically a goblin ghost town—one of the least populated districts for their kind in the kingdom. And now, here they were. Five goblins standing tall (for goblins). Rae gulped again. His eyes flicked over the humans standing near the tree line. His gaze scanned from boots to belts to— 'My first contact with heroes...' He thought, pupils dilating. 'And look at that curve...even from this distance...damn.' He blinked twice, just to make sure it wasn't an illusion. Nope. That was real. That waist-to-hip ratio didn't lie. And those thighs—those were the kind of thighs that crushed kingdoms, ended bloodlines, and left a green goblin whimpering into his pillow at night. 'Thank the gods I'm wearing underwear.' He whispered under his breath. 'If Celeste saw me pitching a tent, she'd deep-fry me like I was street food.' Just then, one of the heroes—no, the hero—looked up from brushing her horse and began walking toward them, smiling and waving casually. Rae felt a shiver run down his spine. 'Holy... That's her! That's Celeste!' It all made sense now. That eerie sensation he felt in the forest? It wasn't the darkness. It was her. The source of most of his religious trauma and pants-based anxiety. He gulped for the third time in five minutes. Meanwhile, Alex raised his hand and waved back like he didn't just commit war crimes against Rae's genitals an hour ago. And that's when a wonderful, petty, diabolical idea struck Rae's goblin brain like lightning. He glanced back at the horse's rear. Then at Celeste. Then at Alex. His eyes narrowed. A smile spread across his face. 'Oh, you wanna ride dirty? Fine. Let's ride dirty, Saar.' He rubbed his little green hands together like a cartoon villain about to poison the town's water supply. "You're late, Mr. Alex." Celeste's voice was cool, calm, and laced with just enough disappointment to make a man question all his life choices. Alex, the ever-charming jackass, pulled the reins and grinned like he just won a pissing contest. "Well, I have a stupid goblin with me who's half brain-dead and takes longer to get ready than a princess in love." ?! Celeste chuckled. Alex chuckled. The birds probably chuckled. The only one not chuckling was the so-called "half brain-dead goblin," who was staring at the back of his betrayer with a face that screamed: "Did this discount Hercules just throw me under the goddamn wagon?" 'What the fuck did I just hear?' Rae's jaw dropped. He felt betrayed on a spiritual level. He had taken a vow of petty revenge, but now? Now it was personal. "Bud Saar, me no—" "Shut your trap, gremlin, or I swear I'm gonna split your ass inside out." Alex hissed, still smiling like a polite nobleman at a dinner party. His voice didn't match his grin, and Rae felt a shiver run down his already-damaged spine. Alex turned back to Celeste, his voice smooth again. "You know how they are. Sometimes they're just... slow." This wasn't Alex like at all. This wasn't the hero Rae had seen at the home. "I didn't know he was that type." Celeste said, glancing at Rae with the sort of pity usually reserved for cursed children or broken carts. "Yeah, they're retarded sometimes." And that was it. Rae stared at Alex's smug, beautiful, traitorous back and made a silent vow: 'You brought this on yourself, Saar.' As the horse slowed near Celeste—who stood smiling, absolutely unaware of the goblin vengeance about to be unleashed—Rae struck. In one swift, heretical motion, he leaned back and jabbed a finger straight into the horse's divine brown star.