Chapter 2: Milky Milk!

"Huh? What the—didn't I die?" Rae's eyes shot open like a bad reboot, blinking rapidly as he sat up and frantically patted himself down like someone checking for a lost wallet. "Huh? HUH?! What the fuck—was that a dream—eeeh?!" He was this close to convincing himself that the police-thrusting, nut-slip tragedy was just a fever dream... until he looked at his hands. Green. Not pale. Not tan. Not sunburnt. But Shrek green. "HUH?!!! WHAT THE—WHY THE—WHO THE HELL GAVE ME A LIME SKIN FILTER?!" That's when he heard it. A soft ding echoed inside his head like a microwave finishing a hot pocket from hell. [Initialization complete...] [Welcome to the Perverted System, host.] "...A system?" Rae blinked. "Wait, like in those NovelFires? Oh shit, that's kinda—" [Main Quest Activated!] [Drink breast milk from the source – 0/100L] [Reward: Race change from Goblin to any race of your choosing.] "You mean to tell me I died jacking off in front of a cheating milf just to be reborn as a goblin with a titty-sucking questline?!" Rae's soul left his body for a moment. "Wait, WAIT! I'm a fucking goblin now?!" He jumped to his feet—or tried to. His legs were stubby, his arms were noodly, and his nose now had the aerodynamic elegance of a banana. Standing there at barely three and half feet tall, just 106 centimeter, with saggy green skin and ears that flopped like broken antennas, Rae stared at his reflection in a mirror nearby. "Bro... I look like someone microwaved Yoda and gave him a hentai plotline." He slumped back down on the old straw bed, defeated but not destroyed. "I wanted to transmigrate! Reincarnate! Get reborn into a world of magic and big titties and mountains of gold!" Rae screeched, jumping from bed and pacing in tiny furious circles like a gremlin who just got evicted from his own swamp. "I wanted to be a rich hero! A noble duke! A damn dragon-slaying, elf-banging, mansion-owning legend! But this... this?!" He threw his stubby green arms in the air like he was summoning thunder from the heavens. "This isn't what I asked for!!!" A pause. Then came the full tantrum. "FUCK. YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?! HOW IN THE HOLY DOUBLE D'S OF DESTINY DID I BECOME A FUCKING GOBLIN?!" He stomped. He raged. He flopped dramatically onto the straw bed like a spoiled toddler in time-out. "I'm supposed to be seducing princesses, not waking up in a mud hut with green nipples!" Then... click. A door opened. Rae froze like a squirrel in the middle of the road. Eyes snapped shut, body went limp—Oscar-worthy performance incoming. Step~ step~ The footsteps were light, graceful. Like a ballerina ghosting across a cloud. Then, a voice. "Oh~ poor guy. Look at his wounds..." A woman's voice, smooth as silk soaked in honey. "I'll have a proper word with Alex once he comes back from hunting. What was he thinking, bringing someone as useless as this to a hunting party?" Rae's goblin heart skipped a beat. His brain screamed: "MILF ALERT! MILF ALERT!" But his eyes stayed shut. He didn't know if she was a kind healer... or the type to use his skull as a flower pot. Nope. Not risking it. She sat down on the edge of the bed, her weight causing the straw mattress to creak softly under her. Rae didn't move a muscle, lying there like a possum playing dead. But then— "Gaga gu ga!!" Rae's eyes twitched. 'Was that... a baby?' He tilted his head just a fraction, just enough to catch the high-pitched babbling echoing from the woman's side. "Oh, my baby, are you hungry? Are you hungry, my dear?" Her voice dipped into that sweet, syrupy tone reserved exclusively for babies and puppies with seasonal depression. "Here, let mommy feed you." "Gu gu ga ga." Then came it. The sound. A soft zipper unzipping. Rae's eyes widened in full panic mode under his lids. 'No. No, no, no. She didn't just—' Something stirred in his pants. 'Oh sweet mother of goblins, she did.' "Come here baby, drink all mommy's milk. Don't let a single drop fall down, okay? That's it... good boy." Then... silence. A soft suckling sound followed. A blissful little baby sigh. Rae was now sweating buckets. 'She's breastfeeding. She's actually breastfeeding. Real life, in 4D. And I'm here. Lying next to a milking MILF. As a goddamn goblin. What kind of cursed hentai reincarnation path did I take?!' But another part of him? The degenerate Rae? Oh, he was screaming with joy inside: "THAT'S THE QUEST! THAT'S THE DAMN QUEST!!!" A hundred liters never felt so far away... yet so close. "Ah~ Gently baby. Don't you know momma's so sensitive everywhere? If you bite like that... Ah~" Rae felt his soul leave his body for a moment—but not from fear. Oh no. From sheer arousal. His inner pervert practically moonwalked out of his spiritual form, lit a cigarette, and said, "We eatin' good today." Rae was a risk taker. Always had been. He'd peeped through windows, closet cracks, and even from air holes. He didn't care where ever it is, he just wanted to see some actions. Did it get him killed? Yes. Did he learn his lesson? Absolutely not. So naturally, he cracked one eye open—just a sliver, like a gremlin waking from hibernation. First thing he saw? Blonde. A cascade of golden locks spilling over her shoulder like a waterfall of lust and shampoo commercials. Then he spotted it—a drop of sweat trailing down her neck like it was lost on a sexy jungle expedition. Rae's eyes followed it like it was the last drop of water in a desert of thirst. He gulped, his throat suddenly drier than a nun's diary. 'This is... fucking amazing!'