Chapter 76: Manaia’s Plan

I sat on the shore, meditating on Manaia’s words. Everything she said made sense. Guilds don’t just disappear with the death of a leader; the hierarchy passes to the second-in-command. The situation was strange. But this gave me an idea: What if the Demon Empress suffered the same fate? What if she couldn’t come in person because the being she spoke of was holding her captive? Maybe it was an exaggeration, but something in my heart told me that the Empress had a lot to lose by revealing so much. It was almost as if she was desperate for me to go... Especially if she was being used to lure more victims, I could be walking directly into a trap set by a powerful being. I told Manaia, "Thank you for clearing up some of my doubts. Now I have an idea about what I need to do." Manaia didn’t understand and looked at me with a confused expression. I hugged her and began to kiss her while stroking her butt, telling her that she didn’t need to understand, I just needed her to know that she had been a great help to me. I hugged her again and she rested against my chest, feeling my heartbeats as we enjoyed the beach and the view of the sea and the moon. The tranquility was enormous, and we both felt peace in our hearts, relaxing after such a long day. Although I didn’t want to break the mood, I had to ask her a few things. "What happened with Lira? How was she during this time? Were you able to talk to her?" This caused Manaia to sigh deeply as she buried her face in my chest. "Lira told me what happened at the lizardkin village... I guess that was your intention in leaving us alone during this excursion..." I sighed deeply, took her hand, and we sat at the edge of the sea on a dry log. Silence stretched for a few moments as the water wet our legs. Manaia sighed deeply and began to recount, her voice trembling with every word. "She told me she didn’t see the attack coming... She said she felt dirty, that she felt their disgusting hands on her. She thought it was her end, that she was going to die in the worst possible way. But just when she had given up, she saw you. She told me her heart filled with hope when she saw you. She said you came into her tent and defended her. That you killed those demons with a rage she had never seen in you. And then she told me everything went black... She said she passed out, but the last thing she saw was your face, covered in anger and determination, avenging her." She paused, tears running down her face. "For her, you saved her at the last moment. My heart tightened. I felt even more guilty than before. What Lira had told Manaia was only half the story. "There’s a part she doesn’t know, and maybe it’s better if she never knows," I told Manaia, my voice trembling. "She died. Lira died in my arms. And I revived her. I have an ability to revive the dead, but... I’m afraid that when I used that ability, something of her was lost. Although she still acts like Lira and behaves like Lira, I feel like something is missing. When I’m with her, I feel like she’s a stranger, that she’s different." Manaia hugged me tighter, her arms wrapped around my neck. Her response was the most honest thing I had heard in a long time. "I understand what you’re saying, Jax. I also felt she was very different. But, maybe that’s because she suffered a trauma that’s too difficult to overcome. Maybe that’s what’s happening, don’t you think?" Her simple response made me feel a momentary relief, but my inner torment was not yet over. "After I revived her..." I began to confess, my voice breaking. "She stood up, smiling. She looked happy, carefree, innocent. She was the same Lira I had met, the one who had helped me and found me on the beach when I was injured. I thought maybe the resurrection had erased that fragment of her memory." I sighed, pausing as a couple of tears fell down my cheeks. "But her face suddenly distorted. There was sadness, crying, anger, hatred—too many negative feelings mixed together, causing her to start screaming in desperation. I didn’t know what to do or how to react, so I did the only thing I thought might work: I made love to her. I wanted to erase the traces of that trauma, for her first experience after that to be one of love. So she would know she wasn’t alone, that she never would be. But... do you think I did the right thing? In the end, to try to pull her out of that emotional hole, didn’t I do the same thing as the lizardkin? I feel it’s my responsibility, and that I’ve failed to protect her from those beasts and even from myself." "You are not the same, Jax," she said firmly, pulling away slightly to look me in the eyes. "He wanted to cause pain and suffering. You wanted to alleviate it. That’s why it’s not the same. You wanted her to know that love was stronger than darkness, that you were there for her. Don’t blame yourself for loving the people around you." We stayed in silence, the conversation flowing between us. We talked about Lira and how we could help her get out of that state of mind. I considered telling Zela, but I didn’t want to worry her and have her become that way too. At the end of the day, even though I wanted Zela to help her sister get out of this situation, I was afraid that if she found out, the first thing she would feel would be hatred, and she would fall into the circle of hatred and sadness. Manaia understood. "Let me talk to Lira first," she told me. "To see if she wants to open up. If she wants to talk about this, I can take care of her with everyone else. But if she doesn’t want to talk, we’ll have to respect her decision." I accepted, sighing as I let some of the weight off my shoulders. I finally felt that I was not alone in this battle. Manaia calmed me with one last caress on my head.