Chapter 37: Guilt

Leon was overwhelmed by emotions. Every single death affected his mental health as the pain was simply too unbearable. Every single time he woke up, he questioned his existence and the purpose of his life. Then, the separation from Silver came, and it hit his mental health even harder. He couldn’t be at peace knowing that she was fighting for her life out there in a place where even Demi-Gods perished. His mental health was in shambles, yet he was picking himself up, trying to fight his way through the hardships with a smile on his face. He was just a normal human being before coming to this world. He wasn’t supposed to endure all of this. So many people would have given up, but he wasn’t giving up. All because there were some people he cared deeply about, and he didn’t want to leave them behind. But deep down, he also felt there was another reason he was working so hard and pushing himself despite his terrible mental health. It was because he felt guilty. Yes, deep down in his heart, he felt guilty for all the deaths and hardships of people. He was the one who developed this world. He was the one who made people’s lives a living hell. He was the reason so many people died, and so many were still suffering every single second of every single day. He truly felt that it was his fault. Even if he wasn’t the one who brought the world into reality, it was still him who made it and brought the sufferings to people. He created them. He wrote their lives. He even wrote his mother’s death by his own hands. He made his best friend Silver suffer. And he was also the reason so many students died in the Flame Knight Dungeon arc. Leon knew he was overthinking as technically it wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t the one who made this world a reality. It was all supposed to be fiction, nothing else. It was just a small pang of guilt, but because of his bad mental health, it grew and took deep root in his mind that he couldn’t just shake it off. This wasn’t fiction any longer even if he wanted to believe that. Everyone was real, and everything he had written was coming true. Every suffering he wrote for characters... those same characters were going through that in real life. So, he thought of doing as much as he could for this world and the people who suffered because of him. He wasn’t a God or anything, and he knew that perfectly well, so he couldn’t help everyone. But he would do his best. That was his motive, and the first step of that was saving the students—the elites of humanity—who died in the Flame Knight Dungeon. He thought he had everything under control, and even if it wasn’t perfect, he had prepared for many things. But plans didn’t work every time, and things got out of his control yet again. He had thought with all the knowledge and hard work, he would be able to save the students. But what was happening? There were chances none of them would survive. He failed yet again, and people were dying because of him. All of them were innocent lives he created with his own hands and gave this much suffering to. His knees buckled, and he almost fell to the ground when a strong hand held his legs, stopping him from falling. Leon snapped out of his daze and turned to look at Natasha, who was giving him a weak, pained smile. "I don’t know what happened to you, but... I don’t like that look on your face," Natasha spoke with difficulty. "That despair... I hate it. So please, don’t do that. Also... I know I said I’ll protect you... but it seems like Big Sister will need your protection." It was only after her words registered in his mind did he realize how stupid he was being. He was falling into a sea of guilt because he couldn’t save the students. Yet, by doing that, he was letting some of them die. ’I will save them!’ Leon thought with conviction. He couldn’t save everyone, but he would save the ones he could with his limited capabilities. Leon turned to look at his surroundings and found many Burning Skeletons coming closer to them. As for his teammates, the girls were in no position to even stand up, let alone fight. Natasha was already being amazing by suppressing the corruption enough to talk. It truly showed how much his silence and depression affected her too. The other two were out of action and couldn’t even talk. Only Denver was left, but even he was feeling uncomfortable. The only reason the two of them were fine was because they didn’t have any corruption inside them, so they only needed to block the corrupted miasma from entering their bodies. The women, on the other hand, had to deal with both inside and outside sources. Worst of all, the miasma was affecting the corruption already inside them. ’I guess the reason I’m fine is because I’m a Mutant.’ Leon thought and shouted at Denver. "Take all of them towards that wall, but don’t enter. I saw a small corner there, so use the three sides to safeguard the girls and try to defend against any monsters that might come your way." Denver nodded and asked, "What about you?" "I will defend against the Burning Skeletons and Lava Imps until help arrives. I’m sure the staff is already alerted." Leon said, but even he knew they would take some time before they could save them. That time was more than enough to slaughter these helpless girls and two weak men. "Are you sure?" "Yes. Just make sure they are safe." Denver looked at the girls, especially at Bella, and nodded. He spoke with determination, "I will protect them at all costs." "Good! Then just go and hide there." Denver quickly helped the three ladies to enter the corner, but Natasha forced herself to say something to Leon, "Little Brother, if you manage to save me today, then this Big Sister will devote herself to you." Leon was silent for a while before turning around and saying, "You don’t really need to do that. I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do. It’s my responsibility." He took a deep breath and stared at the Burning Skeletons with equal fury burning in his eyes. He was overwhelmed by emotions and guilt. He needed to vent them out to feel better, and these skeletons would help him with that. "Now! It’s true Hammer Time!"