Chapter 15 - 5: Jiao Jiao’s Bittersweet Feelings

No one knew the thoughts of Grandpa Zhou's family, even Grandma privately talked with Grandpa about the little daughter-in-law remarrying, wondering if it was because she feared taking on a burden. As a result, 16 years passed, and Zhou Jiao's mother remained dedicated to singlehood, spending years traveling with groups to the Northwest and Qinghai, but never coming to the Northeast. A comrade of Grandpa Zhou said that the child couldn't get over the grief of losing her lover and needed time. Ha, well, who gave Zhou Jiao time? Who gave her the childhood of losing fatherly and motherly love? Young Zhou Jiao seemed obedient, but was actually filled with thorns, sensitive and stubborn, observing people coldly, at odds with so-called family. Only Zhang Guoqing, two years older than her, told her that she could borrow his mother if she needed, which was how they became friends. In her childhood, what she envied most was Zhang Guoqing. Among the nearby villages, he was the only one still getting piggyback rides from his father at the age of ten. Even if he made mistakes, his mother always found excuses to shirk responsibility; the spankings sounded loud but didn't hurt. When bullied by other kids, his mother would stand in the opponent's house and scold ambiguously until the other side started hitting the children before leaving. During times of scarcity, even an egg was precious; his mother would secretly give him one, which he'd save for her. Walking back and forth from school, no matter the weather, cold or hot, they stayed together, plotting revenge against the older cousins at home. Aside from Grandpa and Grandma, Zhang Guoqing was the one who grew up with her. Last year, there was a hotly contested slot for military service, which he gave up for her. She still remembers him saying, "If I leave, who will be with you? If I leave you like your dad, who will truly care for you?" At 16, after finishing middle school, seeing her grandparents' health worsening due to old war injuries, she decided to marry Zhang Guoqing. During that time, Grandpa called but couldn't reach her mother, only hearing she went to the Northwest. At the wedding, Grandpa gave her father's pension to her, and she didn't expect him to save what her mother sent over the years either. Grandpa valued the eldest son and grandson the most; apart from Grandma and her aunt, no one truly planned for this second family's orphan. Even her aunt hoped to use Grandpa's connections for her grandchildren to join the army. The four children in her uncle's house were even more spoiled and domineering than her, wishing the Lin Family were their maternal grandparents. She was sickly since childhood; the special milk powder and malted milk sent by the Lin Family almost all went into their stomachs, raising them to be tall and strong. She was weak like a chick at ten, finally having a better life when Grandma couldn't bear it any longer, gradually nursing her health over the years. The honest uncle and the calculating aunt, over the years, drained the old couple's retirement and the support her mother sent. Weddings, houses, and fancy gifts for the eldest son's wedding, the second son's high-status bride, and a son always in high school, exhausted Grandpa and Grandma's savings. Luckily, they only had four kids; if it were seven or eight, they might have sucked the marrow dry. The once scholarly Grandpa and Grandma had been assimilated by the rural aunt, losing the dignity from their prestigious family background. Fortunately, Grandma taught Zhou Jiao the ancestral medical skills and embroidery, providing glimpses of the Huang family's legacy in Beijing. Grandpa's ability to keep her father's pension and give it to her was satisfying. Moreover, Grandma secretly tucked a small box of jewelry away for her. Besides Grandma, she felt no sense of belonging in that house, thus marrying into the Zhang family while her grandparents' health was declining. Zhou Jiao feared that after her grandparents were gone, the unscrupulous aunt would use schemes to force her back to her maternal family. No matter how good that grandfather's house in Beijing was, it was not a place she wanted to stay. Mother Zhang looked at Zhou Jiao with concern, "Jiao Jiao, every parent has flaws. Now that you've become a mother yourself, think about it. Could your mom not care? Your dad's passing was a hurdle for her. Your mom probably fears seeing you and recalling your dad. Back then, she was just an 18-year-old girl; it's understandable that she couldn't handle it. If she truly didn't care, she wouldn't have sent things and money to your grandpa and grandma. We all know your grandparents sustain the entire Zhou family; I suspect her salary supported you. Besides, if she weren't loyal, she would've remarried long ago. Look at her status and looks. Back when she married your dad and came back in military attire, the whole area buzzed for miles; they were such a matched couple. Even officials from the township came to the banquet. All these years, it's regrettable not just for your mom but even for us thinking about it. If they were still here, you'd be well catered to in the city; your dad telegraphed the town with news of your birth, celebrating the birth of a daughter. Only our Little Wu was lucky enough to marry you; otherwise, you could've easily had a place arranged through your grandpa's connections in Beijing without staying in the countryside." Zhou Jiao smiled, "It's alright, I don't blame her. I don't even know what she looks like, so where would the thoughts come from; even bumping into her on the street, she'd be a stranger. Moreover, going to Lin's in the Capital would be as a guest; who knows if the aunts are easy to get along with. My household registration is in Beijing; yet no one came to take me there. If they cared, why didn't they act sooner? Just telling my grandpa the good news tomorrow would suffice. They are in contact; her leader is still my grandpa's old comrade-in-arms." Zhou Jiao quickly shifted the topic. To her, the original Zhou Jiao's background had no effect on her. Now she was married, with a child, a husband, and her own home. If Mother Zhang remains single, she will support her, as she continued sending money all these years. Other matters could wait until they met in person. Having avoided it for over a decade, continuing to avoid is also possible. How do you pull someone out of their world? Perhaps her maternal family tried everything. As for her grandfather's high-ranking family, they had no need for her. They already provided the resources to raise her; should they have also insisted she live a Courtyard life? Her father's courtyard house in Beijing was now under her name due to her mother, Lin Lishan. Who would willingly live as a guest? Perhaps, in the eyes of the Lin family, she and her daughter were the cause of their daughter's troubles. She should be thankful Zhou Jiao married Zhang Guoqing; otherwise, how would we have managed to traverse through their world? Zhou Jiao thought there was one thing she needed to tell Mother Zhang early, and maybe share a bit of her thoughts too. After contemplating repeatedly, she prepared for Mother Zhang's reaction. To maintain harmony with her in-laws, she needed to express her plans. Besides, with Mother Zhang's obvious favoritism towards the couple, she wasn't worried about jealousy. Mainly, at this time of scarcity and food shortages, sending things over long term could raise suspicion. The coming years would be tumultuous, people's hearts unpredictable; simplicity was best. After marriage, her life was with her husband's family.