Chapter 8: Senior Brother, I Bet It’s a Fart_1

Words : 1274 Updated : Sep 10th, 2025

Chapter 8: Chapter 8: Senior Brother, I Bet It’s a Fart_1Su Bei watched Jun Wuxie without blinking. Jun Wuxie looked down at the bowl, cleaner than if a dog had licked it, his lips muttering faintly as if wanting to say something... Seeing Su Bei’s expression, Jun Wuxie felt an indescribable satisfaction welling up from the depths of his heart. He picked a piece of chicken stuck between his teeth and spat out the rather prominent chicken butt. "Go on, tell me, why can’t this chicken soup be consumed?" "..." Su Bei sighed. But then, as if a thought suddenly struck him, a peculiar light flashed in his eyes, and he gave Jun Wuxie an odd look. Jun Wuxie lifted the wine jar from the ground. He gazed at Su Bei’s face, which seemed to hold a thousand unspoken words, and scrutinized him carefully. Strange? Why isn’t Fifth Brother angry at all? I drank the Phoenix Feather Big Head Chicken Soup he painstakingly prepared! Doesn’t he have anything to say to me? And why does his expression look so weird? As if he’s pitying me? "No, Fifth Brother?" Jun Wuxie asked. "What’s with that expression?" "I drank your chicken soup! The Phoenix Feather Big Head Chicken Soup! Aren’t you angry? Not upset at all?" "..." Actually, at that very moment, Su Bei was pondering a particularly intriguing philosophical question. According to my understanding, in the cultivation world, any sophisticated poison can be neutralized—except for laxatives! No matter the expert’s level, once they’ve ingested a laxative, there’s no antidote... This question had troubled Su Bei for a long time, and he had always wanted to verify its truth. Isn’t this the perfect opportunity? Su Bei coughed, casually found a small stool, and sat down, holding the dead-drunk Xiao Ruoching in his arms. He examined Jun Wuxie before him as if looking at a rare curiosity—up and down, front and back. His gaze was incredibly soft. Jun Wuxie felt a shiver run down his spine under Su Bei’s gaze and involuntarily took a step back. He swallowed hard. Something’s off with Fifth Brother! He has a screw loose! Why does that look seem so ambiguous? The sun set in the west, and night arrived. The new moon was faint and hazy at first, but gradually it became brightly luminous. Dappled, dancing shadows played across its surface, making the exquisite moon appear elegant and ethereal. As the moon reached its zenith, in all the heavens and earth, only this jade-like moon commanded reverence; nothing else existed. Su Bei sat there on the stool, his face full of anticipation, watching Jun Wuxie, who was staring blankly while holding the wine jar. GURGLE. Jun Wuxie’s stomach began to rumble. A faint stench started to pervade the air. Jun Wuxie’s face turned pale. He clutched his stomach as cold sweat instantly streamed down his forehead. Inside his body, it felt as if a massive vortex was violently churning his intestines. Like plunging into an abyss, he involuntarily felt a cold spasm in his rear. Damn it! This... this chicken soup has something in it that shouldn’t be! Jun Wuxie’s voice trembled as he pointed a shaky finger at Su Bei, "The chicken soup... the chicken soup is poisoned!" "..." Su Bei nodded very seriously. "Yes, it has a laxative in it." "Senior Brother, not only did you refuse me the Life Water, but you also tricked me into drinking a laxative! You..." "Junior Brother, I didn’t deceive you; I reminded you several times." "Will I die?" "You should be fine, but you might have diarrhea for a few days." "Oh." "..." The air grew quiet. This must be Su Bei’s doing! He’s taking revenge on me! He’s plotting against me! It’s definitely because I didn’t speak up for him in the grand hall and played dead. This petty man is so despicable, shameless, cunning, and capricious... Fifth Brother, oh, Fifth Brother! I’ll remember this grudge! Jun Wuxie took a deep breath, then turned, intending to find a spot on No-Sword Peak to relieve himself immediately. GURGLE GURGLE. His stomach gurgled violently once again. The intense, awful sensation forcibly stopped Jun Wuxie from taking another step. Jun Wuxie lowered his head and closed his eyes. Then, cautiously glancing at a frowning Su Bei, he said slowly, "Senior Brother... I bet it’s just a fart." "..." Su Bei looked at Jun Wuxie expressionlessly. "If you dare to release even a trace of your filth on No-Sword Peak," he said, "I believe your end will be very... graceful." "..." Su Bei’s expression was perfectly calm. The moonlight on No-Sword Peak was serene. The fallen leaves beside the thatched cottage lay perfectly still. Even Jun Wuxie’s stomach was, for the moment, calm. Xiao Ruoching, nestled in Su Bei’s arms, seemed to feel a chill. She curled up, snuggling deeper into his embrace. Her small, cherry-like lips parted and closed as she muttered in her sleep, "Hehe, Master." "Master is so big..." Su Bei: "?!" Jun Wuxie: "?!" PFFT. The long, drawn-out sound of a deflating ball faintly permeated the air around the thatched cottage. Accompanying it was an indescribably potent stench, a mixture of unknown foulness. Xiao Ruoching’s muttering lips instantly clamped shut. Her delicate brows furrowed tightly, and her small, elegant nose wrinkled. Her arm, which had been hanging limp and unconscious, instinctively moved to cover her nose. Jun Wuxie clenched his thighs together tightly, shrank his neck, and, avoiding Su Bei’s eyes, smiled sheepishly. "Senior Brother, it really was just a fart..." Su Bei sneered, stood up, and delivered a kick. He watched Jun Wuxie soar through the sky like a parabola into the distance. Then, he looked at the wine jar at his feet. After a moment’s thought, he kicked it too. The jar sailed stylishly through the air, seeking its owner. "Don’t you dare defile my No-Sword Peak." "..." 「Beneath No-Sword Peak」 All the Disciples stared, dumbfounded, as the Sixth Elder was sent flying by Su Bei’s kick. He streaked across the sky like a shooting star. Wherever he passed, a faint stench spread. "Who is that? Fifth Elder is such a gentle person; why would he kick someone out like that?" "That... That looks like Sixth Elder!" "Why does it stink so much? Can you smell it?" "It kind of smells like... you know what, doesn’t it?" "Does Sixth Elder eat shit every day?" "I’m going to puke! It’s too foul!" "Fifth Elder is really gentle, you know. It must be because Sixth Elder, after eating shit, went to find Fifth Elder, and that’s why Fifth Elder kicked him away..." "..." 「No-Sword Peak, thatched cottage」 Su Bei, still sensing the lingering, faint stench in the air, sighed slowly. However, the suspicion in his heart had indeed been confirmed. Hmm, laxatives are extremely poisonous, Su Bei mused. There’s no cure. However... they say that those down-and-out, alcoholic uncles with wild ideas are all hidden masters, right? I’ll have to verify that when I have time. Then, he looked with some exasperation at the disciple in his arms. How should I handle this drunken disciple? he wondered. I was so focused on recruiting her. My No-Sword Peak is barren, with only this one thatched cottage. Where can she live? It seems that besides worrying about the Sect’s recruitment assembly a month from now, I also need to seriously consider how to teach this disciple! What should I teach her? It’s too late tonight; I’ll visit the Sword Concealing Pavilion tomorrow. I must pick something suitable for this good disciple of mine. I’ll choose techniques that are somewhat incomplete or imperfect. She’s a genius, after all; she can learn anything!

Chapter 8: Senior Brother, I Bet It’s a Fart_1

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