Chapter 46 - Difficult Talks On Digestive Walks

Chapter 46: Chapter 46 - Difficult Talks On Digestive Walks The Goltbred heiress eventually pulled Qat to come with her on a ’digestive walk’ through the outer garden. She wanted to talk about a lot of things, but started with what had happened on her way back on the train instead of grilling her about the strange spiritual responses earlier. ’She needs to stop thinking about this other person and go back to thinking about me at least for today!’ ...Part of it *might* have also been an attempt to look ’cool’ and take over all that ’admiration’ because of her short adventure. After completely explaining to an invested but quiet swordswoman about the ’small event’ she had with the Voidling Scout, the first question out of the Yecine’s mouth was very unexpected! "Did it taste good?" "N-no? Not at all, really. I’m sure you’ve gotten sand in your mouth before. It’s like that, but drier. Why... is that the first thing you wanted to know?" She expected... well now she couldn’t even remember! Something about being impressive? "I was curious if it was a delicacy or if you were really just that famished." "No, it was... well, yes, the second thing. BUT! I was getting rid of the evidence. That’s the main reason why I did it." The teenager looked at the flustered brunette askance, intentionally trying to hide the *nature* of the quiver in her spirit. "Was that something you always did? Eat the people you melted down with your Acid?" "WHAT!? NO!" Qatrand covered her smile with her hand, but it could still be heard in her voice and sensed through her energetic tendrils that poked and patted at the cute girl she successfully played a trick on. She didn’t think she would be very good at them - and really had no actual inclination to joke with anyone else - but one of the things she had been practicing with her spirit was to prevent it from being read so easily. This was simply a good opportunity to show off the result of that training. It wasn’t that she distrusted El - and the girl essentially knowing her feelings at all times - but that she didn’t want anyone else ’decent’ at spiritual matters to do the same when she was focused enough to stop them. ’Knowing that it worked on her even for a moment was worth it.’ The one ’tricked’ couldn’t bear to tell the very happy swordswoman that her last reactions were a ’grand’ act. She had a fragment of the girl’s spirit in her heart after all - and she was a Breacher. Not to mention the history of control up to the Peak of Demi-god, how could an Enchanter hide anything from a determined spiritualist two realms above? Even a resistance to spiritual intrusion only amounts to so much. ’Still, it wasn’t a bad attempt and would surely work on anyone not specialized in matters of Qat. I’ll just keep quiet.’ "Y-you were just messing with me, weren’t you?" A calloused hand reached out and cupped the puffed cheek. "Yes, I was." "W-well, you did a good job of hiding it." And so did Elua, who for once clamped right down on the fragment to prevent it from outing her currently harmless lie. "I’m proud to hear that, though the progress was thanks to your advice. Altogether I hope to make... quite a showing at the competition." It was duller this time, but the spike of emotional pain returned over the same topic. The heiress fought it back, but couldn’t completely stop her eyes from losing their shine. "Can you tell me what happened now? It must be something about your family if you wouldn’t write to me." The Yecine’s shoulders tensed as she looked away, with her hand dropping from the Goltbred’s cheek. After a moment of contemplative silence, she started in a quiet and controlled voice. "I feel like your training tool has helped me grow more in control of my abilities. I’m really grateful for it. However, my father..." She paused, her jaw clenching for a bit. Even though he was the one who said the words, something inside of her still wanted to protect him. Part of her felt this reaction was wrong, but the other part feared the ’wrong’ things her fiancee might think or do. She’d never told her parents what Anper said that day and they never pushed. "My father... spoke to me one day about the competition. It was short. He said I shouldn’t lose in an unsightly way, but if I face my cousin, I should lose gracefully." Even that much was hard personally to the taller girl. She’d really hoped, after all this time, that the deception of her gender would be the only time the elders would ask her to do something like that. But his next words had cut deeply and... a ’fortress’ with a crack in its inner keep wall had only been partially repaired with Goltbred shaped stones. In the silence, she closed her eyes and asked herself if she trusted her future wife more than she felt lingering duty to the man who sired her and harshly trained her. There was little hesitation needed, but it only made it more confusing about what was making her hold back. ’Maybe... I’m the one who isn’t sure if he should be forgiven?’ Pigeon blue eyes opened with sudden lucidity. There was hurt and determination in them as they found El’s fully listless mint pair. "He also mentioned that if I do well enough, maybe I won’t be a disappointment. He said that maybe I’ll be of more use to them than just for our marriage. Hearing those words..." The reborn cultivator wanted to move to embrace her but stood still. She was too upset to move. If she did she might stomp down and trigger her new action. Instead, the air in the gardens above shimmered as she began to expend essence and that vexation of hers on the surrounding gasses, affecting their pressures and heats to form refractive mirages. "I’ve been trying so hard, pushing myself to improve to the level they wanted. Am I really just a pawn for their plans? Do my efforts really mean anything if they’ve already decided on my place and expect me to fit in it?" Elua held out her hand, wanting the other girl to hold onto it. She understood that the girl was the one hurting so her reaction was rather selfish, but she very much needed to calm down before ’bad things’ happened. The person who didn’t fully understand took a deep breath, her softspoken voice gaining more strength. "I’ve always wanted to prove myself, El. Always stuck between that desire and the weight of their expectations. But now, facing this competition, I’m not sure if I should hold back like they want or give it my all and show them who I am." The swordswoman’s hand finally found that of the outstretched heiress, squeezing it gently. The contact was a start. Being able to feel the physical warmth of her special gem would slowly help the ancient cultivator ease away from the desire to beat her *father-in-law* to within an inch of his life as many times as it took for him to meaningfully apologize. "I don’t want to ’disappoint’ them, but I also don’t want to give up on myself. No... that’s a little wrong. I don’t want... to belittle who I am right now because of your help? I... I *want* you to see me being my best." When it was clear that the Yecine was done with her monologue, a new one began from the side of the listener. An inert gaze with her mint eyes pierced through and dominated the attention of the older teenager. "From the moment I chose to accept our family’s arrangement the day we met, I’ve only ever seen you as surpassingly precious and unrivaled." When she spoke, her voice was low and monotone, but her spirit was a rotating current of intensity that betrayed her true emotions. Qatrand had kept herself from touching it while she had been speaking, because she wanted to get all of her own thoughts out before she let herself calm down enough to deal with the terrifying little brunette ’wolf’. "If I’m being honest, hearing what your father said makes me want to do... things I shouldn’t speak of. That wouldn’t solve anything, would it? You would just start to fear me and what I would do if I’m upset." She paused, as ’anger’ fought with ’sufferance’. The reborn illusionist knew that this era was very different from the ones she lived in. Cultivators didn’t just go and take a blood debt because they were seemingly insulted. ’Duels however... are possible? And people die in them...’ Her head shifted as she hid that line of thought away. It could remain an option, but it couldn’t be acted upon without the approval of her husband-wife. Or without Anper doing something more drastic and physical than casting aspersions on his own ’son’. "Qat, I want you to listen to me carefully. You will never be a disappointment to me and you are certainly more than just a pawn in people’s plans. Your worth is greater than that evaluated by shortsighted elders - nor is it determined by how well you fit into their expectations." The other free hand reached up to pet her fiance’s cheek with the back of her fingers, the touch gentle despite the still raging storm inside her. She felt like her patience in the past was better at putting this kind of thing aside for when it was needed. Elua was beginning to suspect that ’patience’ was not a virtue of the spirit... but of the body. ’It would certainly explain the annoying urges like wanting to kiss her until she can’t breathe...’ "You’ve grown a lot while I was away, and I’m incredibly proud. I want you to compete with everything you have if that’s what you wish to do. Show them - show everyone that watches - who you truly are. Show them Qatrand and *make* them ignore the Yecine." The intense spiritual energy she released on the emphasized word bent nearby flowers away from the epicenter. The swordswoman widened her eyes and gulped. She hadn’t realized that it could be so potent as to affect physical things. If the girl hadn’t been preventing the ’attack’ from touching the immediate area they were in, Qat wondered how it would have *felt*? "Selfishly, I want to see it. I want to watch you out in that environment and see the result of your hard work paying off. As for your family..." The speaker moved the hand holding hers to her chest, flustering the tall girl who immediately felt terrible about her returning ’imagination’. The other one tried *hard* to ignore it as well. "We’ll deal with that together, when the time comes. My love for you is still here during the bad times. Just... focus on being yourself. Not for them, not even for me, but for you." She gestured and the one who had received this signal many times leaned in. The brunette pressed her forehead against the raven haired individual who was certainly making it easier to be happy with each passing moment... even if it was making other aspects of staying close and intimate like this a bit harder to stand. "You’re so much more than they gave you credit for. I want you to realize that. I’ll be there to remind you of that important fact, should you ever forget."