Chapter 69: Caleb’s Confusion

Words : 1326 Updated : Sep 12th, 2025

Chapter 69: Caleb’s Confusion Caleb POV I punched the wall so hard my fingers split open. The pain felt good - real, sharp, honest. It was the first thing I’d actually felt in three days. Everything else was just empty space where feelings used to be. "Caleb!" Aiden ran into my room, staring at the blood dripping from my hand. "What are you doing?" "Trying to feel something," I said, staring at the red on my face. "Anything." My brother’s face scrunched up with worry. "You need to see Elder Iris. This isn’t normal." "Nothing about this is normal," I snapped, then stopped. Even my anger felt fake, like I was acting out feelings I thought I should have. Everyone kept telling me I was in love with Lily. My brothers, my father, pack members - they all looked at me with pity and said things like "You two were so happy together" and "Don’t worry, she’ll remember how much you loved each other." The trouble was, I didn’t remember either. I knew the facts. I could remember events - walking with Lily, talking to her, even holding her hand. But it was like watching someone else’s memories on a movie screen. I remembered doing those things, but I couldn’t remember caring about them. "Tell me about her again," I said to Aiden, sitting heavily on my bed. Aiden sighed and sat next to me. We’d had this talk five times already. "You met her during the mate marking event. She had the Triple Moon Mark that connected her to all three of us, but it was you she picked in the end." "Why?" I asked. "Why did she choose me?" "Because you saw her when no one else did. You showed her that omegas used to be respected in our pack. You treated her like she mattered." I tried to feel something about that - pride, maybe, or compassion. Nothing came. "And I loved her?" I pressed. "More than anything," Aiden said softly. "You would have died for her. You almost did, several times." I studied my bloody fingers, trying to imagine caring about someone that much. It was like trying to remember a dream after waking up. "What if it doesn’t come back?" I asked. "What if whatever happened to our bond broke something in me permanently?" "It will come back," Aiden said firmly, but I heard the doubt in his words. After he left, I tried the thing I’d been doing every day since this started. I closed my eyes and thought about Lily - really focused on her face, her voice, the way everyone said she used to make me smile. Still nothing. Maybe I was broken. Maybe when Lily lost her ability to love, she’d somehow taken mine with her. The mate bond was meant to connect us, after all. If hers was broken, maybe mine was too. I stood up and walked to my bookshelf, pulling out the journal I’d been keeping about our relationship. I’d started writing it after everyone told me how much Lily meant to me, thinking that recording the stories might help me remember the feelings. " Day 1: Aiden says I used to read to Lily in the pack library. We would sit close together, and I would describe old pack traditions to her. He says she always listened carefully and asked smart questions that made me think. " I read the words I’d written in my own handwriting, but they might as well have been about strangers. " Day 2: Brock told me about the time Lily got hurt during a wild attack. He says I carried her to the doctor and wouldn’t leave her side for three days. He says I barely ate or slept because I was so worried about her. " Even reading about my own fear and devotion, I felt nothing. I flipped through more pages, getting more desperate. There had to be something. Some spark of memory or feeling that would help me understand why everyone looked at me like I’d lost the most important thing in the world. " Day 5: Luna stated that Lily and I used to take long walks around the territory. She said we would hold hands and talk for hours about everything and nothing. Luna seemed jealous when she told me this. " I slammed the book shut, frustrated. It was like reading someone else’s love story. A soft knock on my door stopped my thoughts. "Come in," I called. Elder Iris hobbled into my room, her ancient eyes sharp with worry. "Your brothers are worried about you." "Everyone’s worried about me," I said. "But no one can tell me how to fix this." "Maybe that’s because you’re trying to fix the wrong thing," she said, sinking into my desk chair with a grunt. "What do you mean?" "You’re trying to force yourself to feel something that may not exist anymore," she stated. "Instead of accepting what you’ve lost and finding out who you are now." " But everyone says—" "Everyone says a lot of things," Elder Iris interrupted. "But only you know what’s really happening in your heart." I sat back down on my bed, my shoulders drooping. "What if there’s nothing in my heart anymore? What if I’m just... empty?" "Then you’re more like Lily than anyone realizes," she said quietly. That got my attention. "What do you mean?" "She lost her ability to feel love. You lost your memories of feeling love. Both of you are trying to be people you can’t remember being." "So we’re both broken?" Elder Iris was quiet for a long moment. "Or maybe you’re both changing into something new." Before I could ask what she meant, the door burst open. Brock stood there, his face pale with fear. "They’re gone," he gasped. "Who’s gone?" I jumped up. "Lily and Morrigan. They vanished from the clearing. But that’s not the worst part." My blood ran cold. "What’s the worst part?" "They took the shadow animals with them. All of them." Brock swallowed hard. "And there are reports coming in from three different packs. Their Triple Moon Bearers are missing too." Elder Iris made a sharp sound. "No. It’s too soon." "Too soon for what?" I asked. She looked at me with fear in her old eyes. "The Gathering. When Triple Moon Bearers come together, they can either save the world or destroy it completely." "Which one are they planning to do?" I asked, though I was afraid I already knew the answer. "With Morrigan leading them?" Elder Iris shook her head. "They’re not planning to save anything." I felt something then - maybe not love, but determination. Real, solid drive. "We have to stop them," I said. "How?" Brock asked. "We don’t even know where they went." That’s when I felt it - a tiny pull in my chest, so faint I almost missed it. Like a guide needle pointing in a specific direction. "I think I do," I said, touching my chest where the feeling was strongest. "The mate bond. It’s not completely gone." Elder Iris’s eyes widened. "If there’s still a link, you might be able to track her. But Caleb, if you go after them—" "I know," I said, already moving toward the door. "I might not come back. But I have to try." "Why?" Brock asked. "If you don’t even remember loving her—" I stopped in the doorway, thinking about his question. He was right. I couldn’t remember loving Lily. I couldn’t remember the feelings everyone said I’d had. But I could remember making a choice to see her when no one else did. And maybe that choice meant more than the feelings. "Because it’s the right thing to do," I said finally. "And maybe that’s enough." As I walked out into the night, following the faint pull in my chest, I heard Elder Iris say behind me: "The Fourth Moon rises. May the goddess help us all."

Chapter 69: Caleb’s Confusion

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