Chapter 81: Mjölnir Is Happy

While chaos erupted above the clouds, Luke returned home in his Camaro, humming quietly as the city skyline shimmered in the distance. But back aboard the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, there was no peace, only panic. Loki and Barton had struck fast and without mercy. Their objective was simple: create chaos. Chaos loud enough, violent enough, to awaken the monster sleeping inside Bruce Banner. And it was working. An explosive-tipped arrow from Barton slammed into one of the carrier's four massive turbine engines. Fire and smoke billowed outward as the damaged propeller sputtered, throwing the entire ship off balance. The deck tilted, alarms screamed, metal groaned. With agents scrambling for control and more arrows and bullets raining down, panic spread like wildfire. It was the perfect storm. And in the middle of it, Dr. Banner's heartbeat began to rise. By most standards, Banner had remarkable self-control. He'd survived military hunts, assassination attempts, tranquilizer darts the size of javelins. But what no one noticed, not even Banner himself, was that they'd all been subtly influenced by the Mind Scepter during that earlier argument. Its energy didn't need physical contact. Even a faint psychic whisper was enough to loosen someone's mental hold... especially when paired with such chaos. Then it happened. Banner's eyes widened. His breathing hitched. His voice strained: "Get away from me!" And then the transformation tore through him. With a roar that shook the carrier, the Hulk emerged. A storm of green fury, muscle, rage, instinct, and anger issues. No reason, no mercy. The first casualty? Thor, again. Still stuck in place thanks to the rebellious Asgardian boots Luke's system had gifted him, he couldn't even dodge. Hulk barely glanced at him before launching a brutal Spartan kick to his chest. BOOM~! Thor was blasted clean off the carrier's deck and vanished into the clouds. Everyone else took the hint and ran for their lives. ... Meanwhile, Luke had just stepped into the dim warmth of the grocery store. Despite its modest size, it always felt like home. Maybe it was the walls that had witnessed a hundred small memories. Maybe it was the smell of herbs and dry goods. Or maybe it was her. Wanda. Luke's little sister, not by blood, but by bond. They had grown up together in the same orphanage. And after his arrival into this world, merging memories with the original owner of the body, his connection to Wanda had only deepened. In every timeline, every version of his life, she was his home. She was also currently standing by the counter, holding up a small pouch of cash with a grin. "Brother! You're back," she said, brushing her hair behind her ear. "I made a lot of money this week. Thought maybe it's time we upgrade those old glasses of yours?" She said it shyly, avoiding eye contact, her grip on the cash just a little tighter. Luke blinked, genuinely stunned. The sun must've risen from the west today. For the first time since she'd started working, Wanda wanted to buy something for him? He was touched... for a second. Then he remembered. His glasses. His heart dropped. He glanced down, and sure enough, he was still wearing them. His expression froze. His eyes widened at what he saw through the lenses. 'Oh no, forgive me lord for I have sinned.' He turned sharply, yanking them off with quiet urgency. Wanda took a step forward, misunderstanding his reaction. "Wait, you're giving them to me? I'll store them safely." Luke panicked. Cold sweat prickled his back. Not the glasses. These weren't just lenses, they were a critical part of his happiness. Like lightning, he tucked the glasses into the pocket of his hoodie. He coughed stiffly and struck a dramatic, noble pose. "Wanda! How could you say such a thing?" "Huh?" she blinked. "We may be living better now, but that doesn't mean we forget our roots. You know how I feel about waste. These glasses might be old, but they still work perfectly! Why change them just for the sake of appearances?" Wanda stared at him for a moment. Then nodded solemnly. "You're right. I almost became wasteful... sorry, brother." Luke exhaled in relief. That was close. But Wanda's eyes suddenly drifted down, to what was still in his hand. "Hey... what's that?" she asked, her eyes lighting up with curiosity. Luke followed her gaze. Mjölnir. "Oh, it's just...uh...a hammer. Temporary loan," he mumbled, already sensing the danger. Wanda walked forward with that overly eager smile of hers. "You've worked hard. Let me store it for you." Luke's body froze. "Wait, don't touch!" Too late. Wanda's hand closed around Mjölnir's short handle. Luke braced for the sound of the hammer falling to the ground, and the possibility of Wanda hurting herself. But nothing happened. Instead, the system pinged. [Ding! Mjölnir has fallen in love with the host's adorable little sister. It wants to stay close to her!] Luke's brain short-circuited. ...what? Wanda twirled the hammer in her hand like a baton, smiling in surprise. "Wow, this thing's light! What's it made of, foam?" Luke just stood there, eyes glazed over. From the top of the stairs, Sharon appeared. Dressed casually, hair slightly damp from a shower, she stretched as she descended. Her eyes drifted lazily toward the living room, then snapped into focus. "Wait... is that...?" she muttered, pointing at the hammer. She walked over slowly, curiosity piqued. "Sister, can I take a look?" Luke's heart skipped. Did she just call her "Sister"? Wait. When did they start calling each other like that? 'What happened in this house while I was gone?' But that train of thought was derailed by yet another system alert. [Ding! Mjölnir has developed feelings for this new young lady as well. It wishes to stay close to her, too.] Luke's hand instinctively shot forward to stop Sharon from taking it, but halted in midair. Too late. She plucked Mjölnir from Wanda's hand. Effortlessly. Spinning it lightly in one hand, she turned it over, inspecting the rune-etched head. "Boss, is this some kind of collectible? It looks just like Mjölnir! Really high-quality replica." Luke let out a sigh of existential defeat. If Thor saw this, he'd die from shame. And the system wasn't done. [Ding! Mjölnir is thrilled. It has extended its strike period to 10 days. It greatly prefers the gentle touch of a woman's soft hands over Thor's rough grip.] Luke stared blankly at the air. His eye twitched. 'Why does it feel like Mjölnir's become a dirty old man...?' ...