Chapter 33: The Lucky Cat Is the Devil

Baldy Joe stood tall, arms crossed, radiating smugness like a furnace. He looked down at Wanda with disdain, grinning. "I don't pay for things," he said proudly, as if theft were a badge of honor. But just as his words echoed through the shop, a familiar sound chimed in Luke's mind. [Ding~! Your Lucky Cat has sensed a powerful threat to its dignity. If people start taking things without paying, how can he as a Lucky Cat prove his worth? Therefore, it has decided to evolve again and rewrite the store's rules: from now on, aside from the store owners, anyone who enters must buy something and pay, no exceptions!] Luke's eyes lit up. He turned his head ever so slightly toward the Lucky Cat, perched innocently beside the register. It looked exactly the same as always, plastic paw waving with mechanical cheer, golden eyes glassy and empty. The same cheerful grin. But floating above its head, Luke noticed something new. The system text. [Name: Lucky Cat Mutation Type: Fortune Function Mutation Level: Second-Order Mutation Status: The Lucky Cat has felt a crisis to its existence. It now mandates that all non-owners must purchase goods before leaving the store.] Luke's grin widened. The Lucky Cat had leveled up again. Now it wasn't just lucky, it was enforcing capitalist justice like a divine vending machine. He felt that even someone like Natasha Romanoff or Agent Coulson would have to shell out some change before exiting the premises. Under the right conditions, Luke thought, this cat might be even more powerful than Doggo. That thought alone made his heart race. Still smiling, Luke looked at Joe and asked calmly, "Are you really sure you don't want to buy something?" The question hung in the air like a thunderclap. Joe blinked. His lips parted. The other gang members froze mid-snicker. Something was... off. Their smug expressions began to melt into confusion. Then hesitation. Joe glanced sideways, eyes drifting toward the shelves stacked with snacks and trinkets. Suddenly, everything looked... irresistible. Didn't his men say the stuff here was all high quality? And reasonably priced, too? Since they came all the way here, it would be stupid to walk away empty-handed, wouldn't it? Joe's brow furrowed, then cleared. Decision made. He turned and roared at his gang, "What're you staring at like idiots? Go shop already!" Like a pack of starving wolves, the gang members charged at the shelves. Chips flew. Instant noodles vanished. Shelves rattled under their stampede. Even the three bloodied subordinates, barely conscious, started dragging themselves across the floor. Their bodies left streaks of red behind them, but their eyes sparkled with single-minded purpose: must... buy... something... Wanda's mouth dropped open. Even Luke, who knew what was really going on, felt a twinge of disbelief. This is getting insane. Red Braid's leg was so badly injured the bone was sticking out, literally visible through his skin!, but the guy was still crawling like a zombie toward the gum rack. It was horrifying. And honestly quite amazing. The Lucky Cat's upgraded power wasn't just influencing behavior, it was practically possessing people. Luke stared at the grinning plastic figure with a mixture of awe and fear. Just a second-order mutation was enough to turn this thing into the devil. But even as that thought passed, a wicked smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Still, he thought, I can't say I hate its style. Behind him, Wanda ducked behind his shoulder, peeking out like she was hiding from a ghost. Not the gangsters, no, she'd seen worse. She was hiding from the shoppers. Specifically, the three moaning, crawling men bleeding across the floor in a desperate bid to reach the candy aisle. "Brother..." she whispered. "Does my voice have some kind of magical power?" Luke blinked at her. "I mean... every time I ask someone if they want to buy something... they do! No one's ever said no!" She looked up, half proud, half terrified. Wanda didn't realize it was the Lucky Cat exerting its will. She genuinely thought it might be her. Maybe, just maybe, her voice had acquired some miraculous power. After all she had personally experienced her body developing in an instant like magic. Luke chuckled softly and ruffled her hair. "Yeah. I think your mouth is pretty magical." Then he gestured toward the carnage. "But maybe we should help those three first. If they keep crawling, the cleanup's going to be a nightmare..." He took Wanda's hand and walked over to the wounded trio. Red Braid had stopped halfway up the snack aisle, groaning and reaching toward a box of cookies with a trembling, blood-slicked hand. Luke knelt beside them and smiled gently. "Hey," he said. "What do you want to buy? I'll get it for you." Because no matter how crazy this was, Luke still had principles. Even if the customers were crawling, bleeding, and half-conscious, if they wanted to buy something? He'd help them. After all, stopping a customer from shopping... Now that would be cruel. ...