Chapter 42: Ch 42: Strings of Heart

Chapter 42: Ch 42: Strings of Heart Adrian’s POV The carriage came to a sudden halt just outside the city square. Nodding respectfully at the healer, I and the three other survivors disembarked from the carriage. All four of us went in the same direction, in the city square. I guess all of us work in the higher division of this city. They remained silent, so did I. Not that the tragic incident would have made them any more talkative. It was completely understandable that their trauma ran deep than they showed at the moment. Or maybe they didn’t yet feel it. Maybe at night, when they would lie down on their beds,their memories shall replay the horrific incident that they escaped by an inch. Should I feel guilty? I didn’t feel though, not even now, walking among the only survivors...how sad. It was still early morning and as we approached the square, the chaotic sounds of the morning people in the market ran out, a welcoming presence after travelling in complete silence and sounds of agony alone for hours. But as I came nearer to the market place, my ears suddenly picked up low crying noises, dying down amongst the hustle-bustle of the crowd. Was something wrong again? My thoughts rewired themselves, my feet balancing itself involuntarily and my backs stiffened ready to unleash bursts of power if necessary. Glancing at the other three who were still walking with downtrodden expressions, I understood that they haven’t heard anything. Not yet. Soon one of the three lifted up their face with mild curiosity, the kind that follows before realisation finally sets in. He was soon followed by the other two, as all four of us exchanged glances. Without a word, we briskly walked towards the marketplace. Entering the gate, my steps paused. My eyes widened as did the other three beside me. The scene in front of us was straight out of a nightmare. Dead bodies laid in rows and stretched for as long as my eyes could follow. They had placed it right in the middle of the market, circling the statue of the lady...just like how the shops were generally arranged. Was this the mocking of the dead? An insult of not being able to protect the goods of their employers, of their owners? I frowned at this ridicule. Even I would never insult my enemies in such a humiliating manner. Most of the bodies had weeping relatives, families beside them. Few of the bodies suspiciously had nobody beside them, probably having no family of their own or due to the complete disfiguration of their faces. Surrounding the kneeling families were people. Plenty of them. It almost looked as if the entire city had appeared our of nowhere. They were speaking in hushed tones, pointing and sharing their griefs as they recalled the lives of the dead guards they once knew or were a part of their lives. Strangely many of the dead bodies had none to cry for them, to point at them with shaky fingers, to share their memories of them in their lives. They were strangely...empty. Probably had been while they were alive. And even now as they kiss death, there was not a single soul to bid them goodbye. For a moment, I imagined if that’s how I too shall die. Alone. Abandoned in death. I was aware that I would wake up in Hell that is if one existed; that was never a point of debate. But there wouldn’t be a single soul to mourn my death. How pitiful. For almost a moment, I felt a strange quiver in my rhythmic heartbeat catching me off-guard. Quickly shaking my head, I looked at the side. A small smile adorned my face as I thought, ’What was I even thinking? To think that after so many years, I would pity myself. That’s literally the trashiest behavi--’ I couldn’t finish my thoughts as a figure leaped toward me. Instantly I readied himself, hands almost coming up in self-defense. But then stopped...as a woman passed by me and wrapped herself around one of the three other survivors. "You are alive. You are real. You have come back, to me." She sobbed into the chest of the man who looked almost on the verge of tears, his arms wrapped into a bear hug around the woman. "I have come back, dearest. I have." He replied in a hoarse tone, his throat suddenly dry as he choked with emotions. "I know, I know, I know." came her reply. I blinked once, then twice. Then as if coming to my senses I shook my head. "Emotions...they are one’s greatest weakn--" My thoughts were once again interrupted as another of the three suddenly ran towards an elderly woman running through tired breaths, but still rushing forward. "Mother! Mother! I have come back, mother." The man howled so loudly that few spectators themselves ended up crying. The boy snuggled into his mother as he shouted through his sobs, "I was so scared...mother. I thought I-i was going to d-die..." "Don’t say that, my son. Don’t. You have come back alive and that’s the greatest thing that could ever happen to me." The elderly woman wiped out the tears rolling down from her son’s cheeks. And then she embraced him. Unwilling to let go of her only reason of existence. My face turned blank. I felt it, the increase in the beating of my heart, the way my lungs heaved uncomfortably...they ached. But once again, I closed my eyes. I persisted. "Yo man, tough as always huh. A mere creature like Death wouldn’t be enough to take you from my side hahahah." A rough voice came from my side. I glanced sideways and saw the third guy clasping hands with a bulky, hairy man. The man was...crying? Suddenly people, many of them enveloped our group. Some whispered prayers to non-existent deities for sparing us, some ran forwards to make sure they had been okay. The grieving nature of the atmosphere didn’t change, but it sobered up a little. Just a tiny bit. My mind suddenly felt blank. It was as if all the teachings I had taught myself over the years were all being proven wrong. Right in front of my eyes. Deep in my heart. They all whispered to me, "Wrong. Wrong...your life was a lie." Gently shaking myself, I started walking out of the group. But before I could get out of the circle, a trembling hand tugged my shoulder. Looking behind me, I saw the elderly mother standing with a smile on her face, her crying son trailing her. She opened her mouth and and in a soft voice asked me. "You don’t have anyone, do you?" At that moment, it struck me. The reason why I was what I was. The path I had followed, I don’t even remember when did I choose this. The destruction. The murders. The chaos. I can’t. "N-no..." My voice came out, a bit shaken and softer than I intended. Her face became a bit pitiful as she came forward and wrapped her arms around me. She patted my back. I was lonely indeed, I realised with a bitter smile. "It’s okay, boy. I am happy you are alive." She replied in that same kind voice. I didn’t move. [You know you didn’t need to act in front of an elderly woman as her.] Her voice echoed in me. But how would I tell someone that... I didn’t lie.