Chapter 24 She's an Outrageous Natural Airhead

When I opened the door in the temple, I found myself—- in a hanging garden. No, it’s not like I’m making a gag or anything like that, but seriously, when I opened the door and went in, what I saw before me was a hanging garden with no one in sight. And the door that I’ve just passed through, which I should have passed through just a minute ago, is gone. To be honest, my mind hasn’t really quite caught up with it but…… Eh? Could it be that this is actually the waiting room? Maybe it’s just I who doesn’t know and this is actually the norm—- No, as expected, that isn’t possible. I mean, how the heck could anyone call this place a room!? [……………..] [Eh?] And just as it was too sudden that I found myself in here, I suddenly found someone there as if they had been there from the start. Yes, before I noticed it, without even making a sound nor did I even feel her presence, standing a few feet in front of me was a woman…… No, there’s “something” standing there of nature I do not know. She has the appearance of an unparalleled beauty—– I can’t think of anything else to say about her. Long, silver-white straight hair that doesn’t have any curls reaching to her knees, they even seem like they’re faintly glittering, and golden eyes that don’t have any hint of cloudiness. Her body, which is about 160cm tall and dressed in white vestments, is so beautiful that you would think that her existence embodies the perfect divine proportions—– and most of all, she’s kind of eerie. When I met Kuro, I thought that her appearance as she stands against the sunset was like art, but the appearance of the woman in front of me is art in itself, not just a metaphor that describes her. Yes, everything is too perfect for the woman in front of me, that it gives me an inexplicable sense of foreignness from her. She should have been right in front of me, but she doesn’t feel real, as if I’m just looking at a finished painting. My instincts were telling me that the being in front of me is in a “different level” from me—— Is this being perhaps, a God? [Nice to meet you, Miyama Kaito-san, the human from another world liked by Kuromueina from first sight. I’m “Shallow Vernal”, nice to meet you.] […………….] After the woman opened her mouth in front of the completely speechless me, I felt like something cold ran down behind my spine. Her voice is so beautiful that I thought it was a gospel from God, but at the same time, I felt a strong sense of discomfort that I can’t put into words. It didn’t really take that long for me to understand why I felt that way. It’s because it was hard for me to believe that the words I just heard emanate from the woman in front of me. [I suppose you’re surprised by the abruptness of the situation. I was led to this place at Kuromueina’s request. And just as they said, the better the view of the surrounding is, the more calming it will be.] [………………..] If I just put my attention to the words she said, I don’t think I would have found anything strange among them—– But I can’t sense any intonation in her voice. Although her voice is supposed to be beautiful, but having the same loudness, speed, and intensity makes it look like there’s no emotion in her voice, as if it was just a machine speaking to me…… No, her voice is so constant that it feels like even a machine would have more emotion if it was to speak. Furthermore, her facial expressions didn’t change at all, as if she didn’t have any emotions right from the start. I don’t even know if those golden eyes are looking at me, or if they’re looking at the background as if I didn’t exist. They said that people are afraid of the things they don’t understand, and that’s probably what I’m feeling right now, the reason why I’m feeling a chill running down my spine. [You look quite confused, are you alright?] [……Eh? Ah, y- yes…… I’m sorry.] [No need to apologize. It’s my fault for bringing you here so suddenly.] As expected, each of Shallow Vernal-sama’s words was spoken without any changes in her expression or voice, I frantically moved my head, which had been frozen in place, and replied to her words. [I- I’m Miyama Kaito. N- Nice to meet you. Errr, Shallow Vernal-sama……] [You can just call me “Shiro” if you want. That’s what Kuromueina—- Kuro calls me.] [N- No, but, errr……] [You can just call me Shiro if you want. That’s what Kuro calls me.] [Errr…… Shiro-sama?] [That “-sama” is unnecessary.] [No……] [That “-sama” is unnecessary.] [As expected, I can’t just impudently……] [That “-sama” is unnecessary.] [Ah, yes…… Shiro-san.] [Best regards.] Our conversation finally moved forward!? She’s not even trying to pull back for the others! That would have just ended up in an endless loop! ……I’ll do what you say, so please stop sounding like a broken record in a repeated playback. Seriously, it’s scary. To be honest, I didn’t feel really comfortable calling a being that’s obviously in another level compared to me such a thing, but having to hear the same words repeated over and over again with her completely unchanging expression and voice, I just gave up and changed the way I called her. [T- Then, once again…… Shiro-san said that Kuro requested you something…… But why exactly did I get summoned to this place?] [I think it’s plausible to question it—– Well then, I will now grant you your blessing.] [Huh? Eh?] Arehh? That’s weird…… Didn’t she just hear me asking that question? Just because you told me what you think about that question, that doesn’t mean you explained anything, you know!? After telling me in a voice with no inflection at all, Shiro lightly pointed her hand at me without answering my question. [Bless you.] [ !? ] After her short, emotionless words were spoken, my body seemed to glow for a moment. However, there was no other change and the light quickly subsided. Arehh? That’s it? [Now then, shall we have some tea?] [What?] Wait a minute, I’m begging you, please explain the situation a little bit. I don’t even have any idea what’s going on. What did Kuro ask Shiro-san to do, is the blessing finished with just that, and why the heck are we having tea now, it’s fine if you just briefly talk about it, but could you please explain it to me!? [Kuro requested me to grant you my blessing. Your blessing is complete. However, it will take some time until the blessing to your companions is completed, so let’s have a cup of tea to get to know each other.] [Ah, yes.] I thought you would just put that aside, but she really concisely explained it all!? I really don’t understand this person at all…… Are all Gods like her? Honestly, I want to hold my head in my hands right now, but before I knew it, a garden chair and table appeared in front of me, and Shiro-san is already taking her seat. If I don’t take my seat, I feel like I would just end up in that endless loop again, so I sit down in one of the simple but beautiful white garden chairs, facing Shiro-san. And then, as if it’s natural, a cup of amber-colored liquid appeared in front of me. […………………..] […………………..] A- Awkward. The combination of her silence and expressionlessness turned everything really awkward. A C- Conversation…… We should have some conversation, at least…… I- It’s alright. I’ve been through a lot since I came to this world, and even though I’m a loner, my communipower should have improved a little bit…… I need something, some kind of clue to initiate our conversation…… Even though we sat daw facing each other…… Having no conversation starting at all, I got a little impatient, so I just turned to the drink placed in front of me while looking for a clue to initiate our conversa—- whoa, this is delicious! What is this black tea? Even though I’m not that knowledgeable about teas, even I can see that it’s outrageously delicious…… Should I say that it’s to be expected from the tea served by God huh…… That’s right, how about we start with this tea…… [T- This tea is quite delicious, isn’t it?] [I’m glad you like it.] […………..] […………..] I can’t push the conversation forward at all!? Or rather, even if I tried to push forward our conversation, I couldn’t continue at all with the combo of her complete lack of facial expressions and voice intonations. Kuhhh… I guess the level up of my communipower is nothing but my imagination huh. Reality really is ruthless…… I mean, I’m the type of person who basically waits and receives what the other person says. What I’ve learned in my long, loner life is how to adapt to what the other person is saying…… In other words, the opening conversation is left to the other person, and I’m just basically adapting to that and keeping the conversation going without straining it. This conversation technique is effective for most people, especially for the type of people like Kuro who is willing to talk to me. Unfortunately, there’s a fatal flaw in this tactic. It doesn’t work well if I’m talking with the same type of person. This is exactly what’s happening in my current situation with Shiro-san. I may be able to push forward some topics if I was talking with a normal person, but Shiro-san is a difficult adversary for I don’t know what she’s thinking nor do I even know how to talk with her in the first place…… Shiro-san, anything is fine, but don’t you have anything we could talk about? [In that case, let me ask you a question—– What did you mean when you said communipower?] […… It’s short for communication power, which is basically the power to have a good conversation with others.] [I see—- Then what does being a loner mean?] [It basically means someone being alone…… By the way, Shiro-san. Could you possibly be able to read my mind or something like that?] [I can certainly read your mind.] [Ah, is that so.] She just affirmed it as if it’s a matter of course!? Does that mean she had read everything I just said!? That’s really embarrassing…… Then, I think it’s best to let Shiro-san take the lead in this conversation…… [Ah, it won’t do if we don’t have some teacakes, right?] […………….] I’ve been thinking for a while now, but haven’t you gone along with your own pace all these times? Are you that free? Hey, are you that free? She doesn’t even care about our current situation, and she just switched from one conversation to another with the same expression on her face and voice. It’s a common say in all eras and cultures, but it seems that gods don’t really understand the feelings of people. [Please enjoy your meal.] [……Shiro-san, even you too huh……] To be honest, I had a bad feeling when I heard that she was Kuro’s acquaintance, just like how she showed up in front of me like it was natural. The baby castellas has undoubtedly turned into the thing that I’ve seen the most in this world. Not having any energy to complain anymore, I pick up a baby castella that I’m already used to eating and put it in my mouth…… [ ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ] ——I feel like fainting in agony. The moment I take a bite of the baby castella, a piercing spiciness spread in my mouth and it stuck not only in my mouth, but also in my nostrils. D- Don’t tell me, this is—– Wasabi!? Eh? Why is there wasabi in the baby castella!? Is she harassing me? Isn’t wasabi in a completely different vector of existence? This should have been a combination that couldn’t exist…… A baby castella filled with wasabi—- A bizarre disproportionate taste of sweetness and spiciness began spreading in my mouth. I began to pour tea into my mouth, desperately wanting for the violent disgusting taste to be washed away. And just when I moved my gaze to the person who brought out the cruelness incarnate teacakes that carved a new trauma inside of me, Shiro-san brought it to my mouth without any particular change in her expression. ……Why are you eating that normally? Don’t tell me, she isn’t actually trying to harass me and just a regular teacake for her? T- This person…… Don’t tell me that not only her very being, but even her sense of taste is also weird? [Shi- Shiro-san?] [What is it?] [Is that good?] [No, it’s so bad that I’d rather eat dirt.] [………….] Then, at least show a little bit of that kind of feeling in your expression or your voice!! I mean, in the first place, why the heck did you make that kind of stuff and serve it as teacakes! Say it!! [Kuro once gave me these as a gift, saying “I tried to make it but it was incredibly bad, so I’m giving these to you.”.] [……However, didn’t Shiro-san also think that it doesn’t taste good?] [Yes. It’s hard to believe that a food as terrible as this exists in this world.] [……Then, why did you offer such a substitute for the teacakes?] [Kuro told me that “Baby castellas are the best thing to eat with tea.”, and since I want to deepen my friendship with Miyama Kaito-san, I served what I heard was the best thing to welcome you.] [……However, what about Shiro-san’s thoughts regarding these teacakes?] [It tastes so bad that I think its very existence should be a sin.] [……………….] I think I now understand a little bit regarding this person. Her expression and intonation of her voice don’t change at all as usual, but this person is probably…… A really outrageous natural airhead. Adding up being a natural airhead to being expressionless and emotionless is a terribly poor disposition. I would like it if you give back all the reverence I felt for you just a short while ago…… [Don’t you think it would be quite difficult for me to return it since it isn’t tangible?] [……It’s just a metaphor.] Dear Mom, Dad—— I met God but…… She was eerily expressionless, chillingly emotionless…… And to top it all off—– She’s an outrageous natural airhead. Advertisements