Chapter 43 - 43 43 Eating Money

Words : 1914 Updated : Sep 10th, 2025

43: Chapter 43: Eating Money 43: Chapter 43: Eating Money “Since you can stomach it, you can eat it all...” Liu Hun spoke evenly, then suddenly bellowed, “Come here!” Grabbing Bai Dajun’s greasy hair, he yanked him close, then, pressing Bai Dajun’s head down, “Bang!” he smashed it onto the table. Bai Dajun was secretly thrilled watching the money, never expecting Liu Hun to suddenly make a move, let alone with such strength. By the time he came to, his head had already dented the table, half buried in it. “Ow...” Bai Dajun screamed like a slaughtering pig, his legs kicking in agony. Liu Hun held Bai Dajun’s head with one hand while he turned and caught a cleaver flying at his head. Catching a blade barehanded, with a “swhoosh,” Liu Hun clenched his five fingers and snapped the cleaver in two. Staring at the stunned onlookers, he asked, “Still want to chop me?” The lackey had never seen such a move and was so frightened he could only swallow hard, his mouth quivering, unable to utter a word. Liu Hun, holding the broken blade, pressed it against Bai Dajun’s neck and said, “Shut your mouth, cry out again, and I’ll let your blood.” Bai Dajun, seeing the gleaming blade against his neck, like a hog tied for slaughter, dared not make a sound, enduring the numb pain in his head. “Tell them to throw their knives on the ground.” Liu Hun then pulled Bai Dajun up from the table. Bai Dajun felt like his head had been stung by wasps, painful and numb, he stuttered, “You guys, throw your knives on the ground!” These men had come for Bai Dajun’s money and had no real loyalty to him. Having just witnessed Liu Hun’s show of force, they were lucky not to have wet themselves. Obediently, they all dropped their knives. Seeing the knives dropped, Du Yueling quickly whispered to Fen Ran and the others. They rolled up their sleeves and rushed to pick up the knives. “Have I heard you say you were my long-lost wild dad?” Liu Hun, holding Bai Dajun, questioned him. Bai Dajun shook his head so hard he almost threw oil from it and hastily said, “No, no, no, you’re my long-lost wild dad... No, my real dad! Definitely my real one!” “Do you understand clearly now? I’m really your real dad? No mistake, right?” Liu Hun continued to press Bai Dajun. Upon hearing this, Bai Dajun felt a chill and dared not say “no,” pleading, “No... no mistake, you’re truly my real dad! Real dad!” “Ladies and Gentlemen, see for yourself, I, Liu Hun, don’t even have a wife, and now out of nowhere, I’ve got a son!” Liu Hun laughed heartily, addressing the villagers around him. “Mixed Kid, I reckon this son of yours doesn’t look like you! Looks more like those turtles in the river, what do they call it? Turtle spawn!” A villager chuckled at Liu Hun, and the crowd around them couldn’t help but laugh along. After the laughter had subsided, Liu Hun called over Gazi to find a thick hemp rope several meters long and ordered Gazi to tie the feet of the six lackeys, perfectly illustrating the saying — grasshoppers on a string. “Today! Those who joined me, Liu Huyi, got paid. I can’t let the rest walk away empty-handed. So, today, I’m treating everyone to a show!” Liu Hun said, scarcely containing his laughter. “Mixed Kid, what are you sneakily laughing about? What kind of show is it? Hurry and start, don’t make us young and old anxious!” a villager urged impatiently. Liu Hun nodded, and under the puzzled eyes of the crowd, Gazi led a dozen children each holding a basin out into the yard. “Whoosh!” a few kids at the front threw the water in their basins at the six lackeys, followed by the kids at the back hurling the black and muddy contents onto them as well. “What’s that? What’s all that? What’s Mixed Kid up to? Where’s the good show to watch?” “Look, isn’t that the crushed anthill by the roadside? Ha! I get it now, Mixed Kid had the first few kids pour sugar water, and those behind threw the crushed anthill!” “Look out! Look out! They’re jumping! They’re jumping! Hey, you see, they’re like monkeys! Fell down, one of them, so clumsy, and there goes another!” “...” The six lackeys, doused in sugar water and then covered in ants, began hopping fiercely, scratching the itches all over as they jumped on the spot. Yet, with their feet tied together, one falling to the ground dragged the second and third down with him, shouting and trembling on the ground like they were having epileptic fits. “Ouch! Why are you pulling me? Your own mother’s!” “Your mom! As if my leg is tied to you... Ouch, you dog ball, why are you pulling me?” “You two dumb balls, stop pulling my leg, I’ll kill you two dumb balls!” ... The six flunkies were itchy all over and shivering, all wanting to get up, but as soon as they tried, they either pulled someone else down or were pulled down themselves. Frustration igniting, they ended up taking it out on each other, and the itchy-dance scramble once again became a struggle for the live clown show. The surrounding villagers watched with roaring laughter; they had never seen such a hilarious and funny scene in their lives, even Bai Dajun couldn’t help but start laughing. “Is it funny? Having a good time watching?” Liu Hun asked, holding Bai Dajun. Hearing Liu Hun’s voice, Bai Dajun shuddered and pleaded, “Dad! Oh, dad! Please let me go, I won’t cause trouble ever again.” “You’re just a boneless maggot from a dung pit! Where’s the IOU?” Liu Hun coldly cursed Bai Dajun, then asked. Bai Dajun immediately pulled out the IOU and tore it up in front of Liu Hun, then looked at him with a face begging for favor and acting cute. Liu Hun, seeing the scraps of paper on the ground, called over Gazi and ordered him something. Gazi ran off with a mischievous smile, a grin that made Bai Dajun feel like he’s seen a ghost in broad daylight, clueless about what Liu Hun was plotting. Before long, Gazi ran back, sweaty, with a hemp sack. Liu Hun placed the hemp sack on the table and slapped the table heavily, announcing, “Everyone, look over here! There’s more drama to watch!” Hearing Liu Hun’s shout, the villagers who had enjoyed the comedy act all crowded around, craning their necks to see what performance was up next. Liu Hun pointed at Bai Dajun and told the crowd, “Boss Bai just confessed to me that he has a big appetite, and what he loves to eat the most is money! So today, I specifically asked him to perform for you all his talent of eating money!” After saying that, Liu Hun opened the hemp sack, and the surrounding villagers immediately burst into laughter. The sack was full of Joss Paper used for burning to the dead during the Qingming festival. “Boss Bai, our RMB denominations are too small; there are too few zeroes after the number, the largest having only two. That just doesn’t match your status or appetite. If we’re going to eat, we eat big, that’s the real thrill! Look at this!” As he spoke, Liu Hun pulled out a piece of Joss Paper and said, “This is the smallest denomination, and it’s ten thousand! This sack has at least several billion, guaranteed to fill you up! Go on, eat!” “Wow! Genius! Hunzi, I’ll write ‘impressed’ for you! Ordinary money isn’t satisfying enough; we’ve got to eat Joss Paper! Everyone agrees, right?” A villager clamored loudly, asking the surrounding people. The crowd unanimously replied with a “yes,” followed by another wave of laughter. “Boss Bai, you said you wanted to eat this, but if you find Joss Paper too bland, we can switch to RMB. This whole table with tens of thousands of RMB should be enough for you. But after you’ve eaten, you have to poop out RMB to make it square, or else you must press your thumbprint on an IOU. Choose one,” Liu Hun said to Bai Dajun with a smile. He originally wanted Bai Dajun to eat an IOU written in RMB, but considering Bai Dajun might skip town and become unreachable, the money would be wasted. So, it’s better to just eat Joss Paper for the sake of assurance, to really fill him up! Bai Dajun looked at the sack of Joss Paper and felt like his bile was about to pour out. Catching Liu Hun’s gaze, he shivered all over and started stuffing a hundred thousand denomination note into his mouth tremblingly. “Smack smack smack... why does this ink taste so strong...” Bai Dajun, with a face as if he had lost his dear father, began eating one note after another. “Hey! Boss Bai, Qingming isn’t here yet, why are you starting to collect money? Aren’t you worried that King Yan, seeing you enjoy it so much, would call you over ahead of time?” The villagers were merciless with their mouths, coldly mocking and scoffing at Bai Dajun. Bai Dajun finally managed to eat half a sack of Joss Paper, his face turning ink-colored, and after begging Liu Hun for mercy and making enough promises, he left Wanbao Village dragging the six flunkies who were beaten until they were unrecognizable, even to their parents. After Bai Dajun’s commotion, Wanbao Village was peaceful for a while, but Liu Hun was restless during this time since everyone in the village saw him leading a group of women in making money and they all wanted to follow suit. The problem was that the mass-produced vegetables couldn’t find a market. His Qi Force-cultivated vegetables grew fresh and delicious in just a month or so, but the Cooperative had only a small quota per season and had to accommodate other large vegetable producers in the villages. Agreeing to the requests would make him a culprit if they couldn’t sell the produce in the end. “Ah! It’s like holding a pig’s head and can’t find the temple gate,” Liu Hun sighed heavily. Before finding a buyer, he flatly refused all the villagers who came to rent land, including previous associations with Qin Yue and Bai Lian. After explaining the situation to them, they also stopped planting. “Hunzi, we all understand you, don’t take it to heart. I’ve inquired repeatedly about the Cooperative, and they won’t need any vegetables for at least three months,” Fen Ran comforted Liu Hun as she sat beside the table. She constantly kept herself informed of the situation at the town Cooperative. “That’s right, Hunzi, I support your decision,” Qin Yue joined in. “Turning down these people will indeed offend many, causing resentment. But agreeing to them and then not having a buyer for the produce will create even more resentment.” Bai Lian also nodded and added, “Exactly, Hunzi, I support your decision too. None of us will plant; it keeps everything fair and prevents some shameless people from gossiping behind our backs.”

Chapter 43 - 43 43 Eating Money

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