Chapter 34: He Tried to Kill Me So I Made Him My Butler

Chapter 34: He Tried to Kill Me So I Made Him My Butler There are many types of glares. Your friend’s glare when you forget their birthday. Your teacher’s glare when you mess up your presentation. The divine glare of a bear you accidentally soul-bound to yourself after killing his besties. That last one? Yeah. That’s my life right now. After listening to the cryptic prophecy of that laughing maniac Trickster—which I totally didn’t understand, by the way, because vague poetic nonsense is clearly not my native language—I found myself right back where the universe screwed me over last time. The forest where my legendary, totally fair and definitely one-sided victory against the Alpha Bear concluded. A few minutes ago, I was in a divine realm... designed by someone with taste as terrible as a dog who pees on a pole and calls it art. Then the Trickster burned the last of his existence and the realm shattered. The Trickster died. And I woke up here, with reality acting like an ex who ran into me after a long time, pretending as if nothing happened between us. Which would’ve been fine, honestly, if not for the part where there were nowfive bears standing in front of me, glaring at me as if I had just murdered them brutally. Okay... okay. I admit it. I did kill them. But in my defense... They started it. And besides, I was also the whole reason they were even alive again. So really, if you think about it... they should be thanking me. Instead, these ungrateful vermins were shooting death glares at me. Tch. This is why I don’t do nice things. Just then— One of these ungrateful bastards lunged at me. My body immediately tensed. Come on, you motherfucker. I’ll explode your brain again. Happily. It was the bear whose head I had blown after sending his lover into a pit full of stakes. His eyes burned like he still remembered every second of his death. But before he could reach me, a paw stopped him. The Alpha Bear. His whole fur had changed to crimson now. And yet, the others still recognised him. The bear that had been charging at me froze immediately, staring at the Alpha like he had just betrayed him. It let out a strange growl, somewhere between heartbreak and outrage. Now, I don’t have a PhD in bear language or anything... but even I could understand that look. ’Why are you saving the devastatingly handsome and powerful human who killed me and threw my lover into a pit of stakes?’ That’s probably what he meant. Give or take the poetry. The Alpha just calmly stared at his friends with a solemn look. He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then, he let out a soft but low growl. ’That ridiculously good-looking disaster of a human is our savior... and my master.’ I understood the meaning behind it. Okay... okay. Maybe he said it a little differently. Just slightly. But you get the idea. Don’t ask me how I got all that. Maybe it was the effect of my new skill... Or maybe I’m just that emotionally intuitive. The other bears didn’t look convinced as the great bear war started between them... to probably decide if they should kill this handsome and powerful human (me) or should they believe in their leader’s words. Like hell, they could even kill me. I had at least ten perfectly hidden traps set up nearby. Plus, I was the master of their Alpha. He had to obey me—even if I ordered him to kill his own friends. At least, that’s what I think the Trickster said. I... haven’t actually checked the skill I got yet. The situation didn’t exactly give me time to open menus. Honestly, I didn’t want to test that. I mean, I did, after all, waste a whole divine miracle bringing these idiots back. It would be a shame to kill them twice. But if push came to shove... I wouldn’t hesitate to get dirty. Survival always came first. But it turned out I didn’t need to get my hands dirty. The beasts were smart, after all. After one last commanding growl from the Alpha, the argument ended. The lover boy still looked annoyed until one of the bears walked over and hugged him from behind. As if saying, ’Honey, let’s just go home.’ Ohhh... so they were lovers indeed. Man... it makes me feel like a villain in their love story. Tch... who’d believe I was the one who was victim of their attack with the way they’re acting. After arguing for a while longer, the Alpha stepped forward and—no joke—kneeled before me like some medieval knight. "The bears will not attack you anymore, my liege." I blinked at it for a moment. ...The fuck? When did he learn etiquette? No, no—more importantly, when the hell did he learn how to talk? And in such an elegant manner, too. His voice, might I add, was more polished than Hans—the head butler of my family. "You can talk?" I asked without hiding my surprise. "Yes, my liege," he said without lifting his head. "When our bond was formed, I received all the knowledge an assistant should have. It included human language, so I could serve you properly." "So you’re telling me," I said slowly, "that you now speak human language... and even know how to serve tea?" "If my liege desires it." I stared at him for a moment, imagining a crimson-furred Alpha Bear in a tux, holding a silver tray. The image was so vivid I almost burst out laughing. Almost. I mean, I was used to a literal gorilla maid... so this wasn’t really anything new in my already chaotic life. "I see." I nodded slowly. I liked the ring of the word liege. It had the perfect balance—grand enough to suit my obvious magnificence but humble enough to make it sound like I wasn’t the one insisting on it. Which, of course, I was. Naturally, I had no intention of telling him to call me anything else. Instead, I asked him what I was more curious about. "So... what do you plan on doing next?"