Chapter 37 - 37: You Can't Fool Me

Words : 1915 Updated : Sep 21st, 2025

Chapter 37 of "HPxLOTM: A Wizard's Path to Divinity" reveals: Harry hurriedly tried to argue, "But, Professor, it was obvious—" "Are you all still standing around?... Keep reading!

Harry hurriedly tried to argue, "But, Professor, it was obvious—" "Are you all still standing around? Get inside the classroom! Or do I need to personally invite each of you in?" With a clatter, the students who had been enjoying the spectacle swarmed into the classroom. Audrey, however, first greeted Snape politely, "Good morning, Professor Snape." "Hmm." He responded flatly before following them inside. "I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making..." "However," Snape's voice was cold and detached as he continued while scanning the room with his piercing gaze, "For those select few..." "...I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death—if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach." Harry was still fuming over the unfair loss of two points from Gryffindor. What frustrated him even more was how blatantly biased Professor Snape was. Then, suddenly, he heard his name being called: "Mr. Potter! Tell me, what would I get if I added the powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Harry looked completely lost. Why did each word make sense on its own, but when put together, they might as well have been in an alien language? His eyes spun in confusion. "I—I don't know, sir." SCRAPE— The chair beside him screeched as Hermione shot up, raising her hand high into the air. However, Snape completely ignored her and pressed on with a second question: "Where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you to fetch me a bezoar?" "I don't know, sir." Snape smirked condescendingly and continued, "And what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?" Harry finally couldn't help but mutter under his breath, "Professor, I think Hermione might know the answer. Why not ask her? Or, perhaps, one of the Slytherins?" "Oh? The great 'Boy-Who-Lived' is challenging his professor now? How arrogant of you. Very well, Gryffindor loses another five points for your insolence." Snape shot a sharp look at Hermione and snapped, "Sit down, Miss Granger! Stop flaunting that laughable knowledge of yours!" Then, his gaze shifted to Audrey. "Miss Hall, answer the last question." Audrey was momentarily taken aback but stood up and said apologetically, "Sorry, Professor, I don't know either." She had been focusing on Charms and Chinese lately and hadn't had time to study Potions in advance. "Very well! Since you are at least honest about your ignorance, two points to Slytherin." "???" Harry's face was full of question marks. That was not how he had been treated just now! The questioning ended, and Snape wrote the instructions for brewing a Cure for Boils on the blackboard before allowing the students to begin. Naturally, the classroom quickly descended into chaos. The lesson ultimately ended with yet another explosion, courtesy of Seamus Finnigan, who had a particular talent for accidental detonation. Fuming, Snape stormed out of the classroom like an enraged bat. Harry wasted no time venting to Ron and Hermione about how unfairly Snape had treated him. Ron nodded in agreement. His potion had managed to corrode half of his table, costing Gryffindor another two points. However, since Hermione and Audrey were the first pair to successfully brew the potion—and Audrey's performance had even earned them additional house points—he wasn't too bitter about it. Ron muttered, "Hermione, you're getting way too friendly with the Slytherins." "Audrey isn't like the others. Besides, she's been teaching Malfoy a lesson, hasn't she?" "...That's true." "What were you two whispering about after class?" "Some legends about Hogwarts. Not that you two would be interested. I'm heading to the library. Want to come?" The two looked at each other and immediately shook their heads. "Next time for sure, next time for sure." ——— On the way to the Slytherin common room, Malfoy and his two henchmen lurked in a corner, sneaking glances down the corridor. "Draco, are you really going through with this?" Goyle scratched his head in hesitation. "Hmph! If I don't teach her a lesson, will I have to keep running away whenever I see her? What, are you afraid of Professor Snape? Worried about losing points?" "No, I just think...even if the three of us attack together, we still won't be able to beat that woman. I mean, technically, she's a first-year, but her actual age is closer to a sixth- or seventh-year's." "But she's only been learning magic for a week! Don't forget, we are of the sacred Twenty-Eight Pure-Blood families. How can we be scared of one woman?" "Here's the plan, Crabbe will charge in from the front and distract her, Goyle will attack from behind, and I'll hit her with a curse!" "But...what if someone else passes by?" "Relax. At this time, everyone is already back in their dorms." Clutching his wand tightly, Malfoy growled, "I'll make her regret ever crossing me!" "But I'm kinda hungry. Can we eat first?" "Of course not, you idiot!" ——— Twenty minutes later, a tall figure appeared at the end of the corridor. As Audrey approached, Crabbe suddenly lunged forward, waving his wand as he muttered an incantation that failed to produce any effect. When that didn't work, he resorted to brute force, charging at Audrey in an attempt to knock her over—his very own Physical Stupefy! Meanwhile, Goyle abandoned his wand entirely, rolling forward on the ground and attempting to grab Audrey's legs in a wrestling move. "Good job, Crabbe! Goyle!" Malfoy praised them before stepping out and swinging his wand with all his might, firing off every curse he knew—some correctly cast, others complete gibberish: "Locomotor Mortis! Eat Slugs! Petrificus Totalus! Expelliarmus! Fizzlebop Buzzicus!" With two loud thuds, Goyle and Crabbe were sent flying in opposite directions. Meanwhile, a few of Malfoy's successfully cast spells did hit Audrey, but they failed to have the intended effect. Malfoy raised his wand, preparing to cast another spell— But suddenly, his entire body froze. A deep, uncontrollable tremor overtook him. A strange and terrifying sensation clawed at his mind—Audrey wasn't just like a monstrous beast… She was one! Her pupils had turned into golden vertical slits. Faint scales shimmered across her skin, and thin wisps of crimson fire curled from the corners of her lips, distorting the air with waves of heat. A monster! This woman is a monster! "M-Malfoy!" Audrey's heart pounded violently. The sudden attack had startled her, and if not for the instinctive activation of her Dragonbone Wand's abilities, those three might have actually succeeded in their ambush. "Well, well…very good." Recalling the typical demeanour of villains in novels, she took slow, deliberate steps forward. With each word she spoke, she exhaled a thin stream of flame, simultaneously releasing her spiritual pressure without restraint. "Kyeh heh heh heh heh heh!" That was how villains were supposed to laugh. "Since you've seen my secret, I have no choice but to—" Malfoy's eyes rolled back, and he collapsed to the ground, unconscious. "...That's it?" Audrey nudged his head with her foot, then turned toward Goyle and Crabbe. "I-I'm passing out too!" Goyle announced, then promptly flopped onto the ground. Only Crabbe was left standing, his expression a mixture of horror and confusion, inwardly regretting his life choices: Why didn't I faint too?! ——— Before they knew it, Saturday had arrived. When Edward found Audrey, she was issuing orders to the Malfoy trio, who nodded along obediently. The moment she waved her hand, the three of them bolted away like they had been granted freedom. Edward stepped forward and asked, "So…they're your underlings now?" "Not really. I just persuaded them with my personal charm~. I happened to need some errand boys, so I figured I'd have them help out." "Oh. So you beat them into submission." Audrey simply smiled, neither confirming nor denying it. "What's wrong with your voice? Did you hurt your mouth?" Edward opened his mouth, revealing a small mandrake leaf tucked under his tongue. "I'm attempting the Animagus transformation. Been at it for days with no results, though. What about you?" She thought for a moment. "Hmm…mostly just attending classes. It's funny—Slytherin and Gryffindor don't get along, yet we keep having joint classes together. Just the other day in Potions, Malfoy nearly got into a fight with Harry Potter over that Neville kid." "What happened?" "Neville keeps forgetting steps, leaving out ingredients, or just messing up in general. This time, he ended up covered in boils, and even Malfoy got caught in the disaster. I suggested he carry a notebook to write everything down." He'll probably end up losing the notebook too… "Also, Snape seems to have a particular dislike for Harry Potter. He's always looking for ways to make things difficult for him, yet he also pays him an unusual amount of attention. I tried to analyze his thoughts and…well, I reached a conclusion that's…hard to believe." It's love! Hey, should I secretly slip Harry some Amortentia? "The scariest one is that Gryffindor kid, Seamus. No matter what he does, it ends in an explosion! Even with a simple Levitation Charm—he nearly blew himself up!" Ah yes, the legendary Seamus Finnigan, Hogwarts' resident demolition expert! For nearly every amusing story Audrey shared, Edward had an internal commentary to match. Unfortunately, these jokes were lost on her—there was no way he could explain them. When she finally finished, Edward asked, "Since it's Saturday, I'm heading to Knockturn Alley. It's right next to Diagon Alley, but it's a much shadier place. I want to see if I can find anything useful there." "Sure, sounds interesting!" She agreed without hesitation, then suddenly realized, "Wait, has it already been a week? Time flies." "Yeah, you've been so focused on school that I didn't want to interrupt you." Audrey chuckled. "Honestly, I really enjoy spending time with the students here. I've always longed to experience school life. But growing up, I only had private tutors. Even when I first started learning magic, part of it was from the scattered lessons you gave me, and most of it was self-study. Now that I finally have a structured education, I don't want to waste it." She grabbed Edward's sleeve. "Let's go." Edward glanced around to make sure no one was watching. A moment later, their figure twisted and vanished. This was his second time visiting Knockturn Alley. The last time he was here, a Dark wizard had targeted him—though Edward ultimately won the fight and looted several Dark artefacts from his would-be assailant, the experience had been dangerous enough that he hadn't dared return until now. So this time, he was determined to be extra cautious. If anything went wrong, he would Disapparate and escape immediately! "...Why is your first instinct to run?" Audrey questioned. "You never considered another counterattack?" Edward made a vague gesture over his chest and solemnly declared, "This is the will of The Fool." "???" Excuse me? I am a senior member of the Tarot Club—you can't fool me! ——— [Note]: Here you go! Extra Chapter as promised. Enjoy~ What? Want another one? If we reach 400 P.S. by tomorrow, ya'll get one!

Chapter 37 - 37: You Can't Fool Me

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