Chapter 59: I’m worse than you

The journey to the sushi restaurant, beloved by the whole family, passed in quiet silence. Nemuri drove steadily, while Shino gazed out the window, allowing herself time to organize her thoughts and feelings. Finally, she spoke in a tone laced with fear and insecurity. "Nemuri... I... I don't think I can hold back my feelings anymore. What happened made me painfully aware of them, and I just can't ignore them any longer..." "..." Hearing Shino's words, Nemuri chose to remain silent. Instead, she placed a hand on her best friend's shoulder while pulling the car to the side of the road. This comforted the beautiful woman with the bob cut slightly, and she continued pouring out her bottled-up emotions. "... I love Kai. I love him more than anything in this world. I really tried to avoid it, tried to extinguish that feeling, but I couldn't. I don't know what to do anymore. I know I shouldn't feel this way, I know it's wrong in every possible way, but I can't even look him in the eyes without feeling the urge to throw myself into his arms. I'm the worst. I'm sorry..." With tears in her eyes, Shino spoke in a voice that was both melancholic and lost, desperately searching for an answer or even a clue, to the point where she looked for the person she knew would understand her. After all, the two of them had been painfully aware of her impure feelings towards Kai, although until now, neither of them had had the courage for a confrontation. "... You know, Shino, I'm not in any position to judge you. In fact, I'm worse than you..."  After a moment, Nemuri said looking at Shino and speaking in a calm yet self-critical tone, as she wiped away Shino's tears with a tissue. This prompted Shino to ask in surprise. "What do you mean? You and Kai...?" After drying Shino's tears, Nemuri let out a long sigh, looking up at the sky through the window and gripping the steering wheel tightly as she gathered the courage to confess in a heavy tone. "... It's more or less what you're imagining. I'm a terrible person, far worse than you can imagine... I took advantage of Kai while he was asleep." "What?!" Shino exclaimed in disbelief, staring at Nemuri, who continued to speak while looking ahead with a bitter expression on her face. "But the worst part isn't even that. The worst part is that, while I can't deny feeling guilty about it, I don't actually regret it. In the end, Kai found out, and after some back and forth, we ended up starting a relationship." "What...?" With a voice that seemed more like a sigh, Shino exclaimed as the world around her seemed to be spinning. She felt even more lost than before, since, although what Nemuri had done was something terrible and even unforgivable, she could not judge her, after all, she could have committed exactly the same sin if she had had the chance. But what hurt Shino the most, though, was hearing firsthand that there might have been a way to find her own twisted happiness. But she'd rested on her laurels, and now someone else was with the man she loved, shattering her heart into a thousand pieces. Her tears began to fall again, but Nemuri turned to face her and spoke in a serious tone. "This happened several months ago, and I've had a lot of time to think about all of it. I know this relationship is wrong, but I'm really not willing to leave Kai's side for anything in the world. Even if I have to quit being a hero, even if I have to live in hiding for the rest of my life, it doesn't matter. I love him, and I want to be with him forever. But at the same time, I'm very aware of your feelings and that this relationship could end up destroying our family. So, I thought, 'If I'm already doing the wrong thing for my happiness, why not go further so we can all be happy?' I realized that the only thing holding me back was my 'morality' and worldview. After deeply reflecting on myself, my feelings, and my limitations, I realized that I really wouldn't mind sharing Kai—especially with you. I mean, in a way, we've been sharing him for years, and he's made sure to make us both happy. I trust him more than anything or anyone, and I know he would never leave me for someone else, as long as I don't 'betray' him. I'm absolutely convinced he'll be with me until the day I die. So, I'm officially proposing this, Shino: if you truly feel that Kai is the love of your life, if you're truly willing to face the challenges that such an immoral relationship will bring to our lives, and only if you're genuinely ready to take Kai as your husband and me as your true sister for life, then I am completely willing to share the love of my life with you and do everything in my power to make this work." Upon hearing Nemuri's solemn words, spoken with a serious expression full of resolve that left no room for it being a joke, Shino was left completely speechless, not knowing what to say. What she had heard was wrong on so many levels that calling it depraved would be an understatement, yet at the same time, it was an incredibly seductive proposition. To have Kai as her husband, to be his wife for life, to have Nemuri as a true sister and unbreakable ally, with a bond stronger than any other kind of relationship could offer—this was something that, for someone whose only remaining family was a cousin who had nearly died the day before if not for her beloved, was incredibly difficult to refuse. "... I acc—" With a strange expression on her face, Shino tried to speak with a voice filled with panic, joy, fear, and confusion. However, she was suddenly interrupted by Nemuri, who gently placed her hand on the lips of the beautiful woman with the bob cut, and then spoke in a serious tone. "Don't decide now. You need time to think about it and process everything that it entails. Besides, although Kai and I have started a relationship, because of my own personal boundaries, it won't be consummated until he turns 15. So, you have time to think carefully and make a decision you won't regret." Seeing that Shino nodded in understanding, Nemuri removed her hand, but continued to look seriously at her, speaking in an even graver, more solemn tone while staring intently into her eyes. She stressed not only the importance of her words, but also that there would be no room for debate on the matter. "Furthermore, when I say it's for life, I mean it. I won't accept a half-hearted resolution, and I must be very clear to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding: if you decide to be part of our relationship, Kai will be the only man in your life. I will not allow you to have another relationship, under any circumstances. Kai deserves respect, and as his partner, I will ensure he gets it." "..." Upon hearing Nemuri's strong warning, a sharp pain pierced Shino's heart as she heard Nemuri refer to herself as Kai's partner, inevitably bringing to mind the image of herself in the same position. This filled her with a deep longing, but after a moment, she composed herself and responded in a more serious tone. "... Alright, I'll think it over carefully. Although I'll tell you right now that no matter what happens, I have no intention of seeking another relationship." "You don't have to do that. This is simply one more option. If you decide not to join, you're totally free to live your life as you see fit. Nothing will change between us." Nemuri commented with a small smile on her face as she handed Shino a box of tissues. Shino took it and began wiping her face while speaking. "It's not what you think. The truth is, although this whole situation is really unsettling and confusing, there's one thing I'm completely sure of: I love Kai from the bottom of my heart, and what I feel for him is something I've never felt for anyone else. Besides, although it doesn't feel quite right to admit it, and it may not seem like it thanks to Kai, we are already a little older and some would even say that we are past our time to get married, so I highly doubt that something like this will come up again in the future and especially not in our profession." Shino's words couldn't help but bring a somewhat bitter expression to Nemuri's face. While they weren't pleasant to hear, especially the part about age, they were entirely true. It was almost like a professional ailment. Unless it was with another hero, it was rare for a successful heroine to get married, and if she did, those marriages often didn't last long. Perhaps it was because men felt intimidated by heroines, or maybe the hero's job was too demanding and created tension in relationships. Or it could even be the consequence of young heroines avoiding getting involved in relationships to avoid losing popularity. In any case, it wasn't uncommon for a heroine to remain single until retirement, and there were even cases of some staying single for life. "Well, while you're partly right, you shouldn't close off your possibilities like that. Just think it over calmly, weigh the pros and cons, and make the best decision for yourself. I think that's the healthiest thing you can do in the midst of all this craziness." Nemuri commented as she restarted the car, to which Shino nodded before asking a bit uncertainly. "Nemuri... do you think Kai will accept me if I agree to share him with you? Does he know about this proposal?" "Well... the truth is, Kai doesn't know. I don't want to bring it up with him unless absolutely necessary. As for whether he'll accept, I'm sure he will. Kai truly loves you like family, and you're an incredibly beautiful woman. I know you love him, too. Plus, when I said I'd do everything possible to make it work, that includes convincing Kai." As Nemuri reentered the road, she responded with a somewhat mischievous smile, almost like a child caught in mischief, which somehow made Shino smile as well. She commented in a much calmer tone. "You're really irresponsible for getting my hopes up like this when you still weren't sure." "Hehehe, well, don't take it like that. I'm sure that if I explain our reasons and the rules of our relationship to Kai, he'll eventually accept. So don't worry, trust me—if you end up agreeing, I'll make it happen." While looking ahead, Nemuri commented with a mischievous smile on her face, which ended up improving Shino's mood, who, with a happier smile on her face, commented while looking at who would possibly be her sister in the future. "Then I’ll trust you, 'big' sister, fufufu." "Hey! I don’t like how that sounds!" Sёarᴄh the nôᴠel Fire.nёt website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Hearing the strange tone with which Shino said “big,” Nemuri couldn’t help but retort loudly, which made Shino smile even more mischievously as she quickly teased. "So, you wouldn’t be the older sister? After all, you were the first, right?" "Hmph, don’t try to play smart with me. Don’t forget, we’re the same age." Nemuri huffed, annoyed as she drove. Shino quickly responded with playful laughter. "Alright, 'big' sister." With sharp eyes, Nemuri turned to look Shino straight in the eyes, starting a small staring contest that quickly ended when the pair of divinely beautiful women burst into laughter at the same time. ""Hahaha!"" "Hehehe, thanks, Nemuri. I really needed to let off some steam. I feel a bit calmer now," Shino said as she wiped a few tears from her eyes from laughing so hard. Nemuri, doing the same, replied. "You don’t have to thank me. We're family. As long as it's within my power, I’ll always be there for each of you. Though, I’d like to ask you to keep my relationship with Kai a secret for now. I want to find the right moment to tell the rest of the family since it's a delicate matter." "I understand. Besides, there's also the issue of my possible addition to the relationship, which would make things even more complicated. But speaking of that, what about Ryuko? You know she’s pretty serious about Kai," Shino replied, her tone more serious, which made Nemuri nod in agreement. "Yes, I know. Although not on the same level as us, Ryuko is definitely interested in Kai. But I suppose that’s a bridge we’ll cross when we get there. Who knows what the future holds? Though, to be honest, I wouldn’t mind sharing Kai with Ryuko either." "Oh, so that’s why you’ve stopped fighting so often about Ryuko’s confessions! I knew something was going on, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was!" Upon hearing Nemuri, Shino couldn’t help but exclaim with realization, causing Nemuri to smile shyly as she quickly added. "Well, yeah, originally it bothered me because I knew she was partly serious, and the idea of losing Kai in the future terrified me. But, as you can imagine, that’s no longer a concern for me. So now, fighting is more of a fun little event between us." The pair of beautiful women continued talking about various topics in a warm and cheerful manner. As they did, they both felt their already strong bond grow even stronger—not only becoming closer, but their trust and affection for each other also deepened, feeling more like sisters and best friends than ever before.