Chapter 30: Panic Attack

Words : 1513 Updated : Sep 10th, 2025

Chapter 30: Panic Attack Natalie~ The soft hum of the night seeped into the guest room as I sat on the edge of the large bed. Zane’s words from earlier echoed in my head, loud and unrelenting, like a storm I couldn’t escape. "Not everyone in your life is out to hurt you, Natalie, you’re safe as long as you stay here." Safe. Could I trust him? Could he really protect me? Could he stand up to Alpha Darius? The mere thought sent a cold shiver down my spine. Zane didn’t know the depth of Alpha Darius’s cruelty. He didn’t know the lengths that monster would go to ensure I never escaped his grasp entirely. And yet, Zane had spoken with such conviction, such quiet strength, that for a fleeting moment, I’d almost believed him. But belief was dangerous. I stood, shaking off the weight of my thoughts, and turned to Alexander, who clung to my waist like a little koala. His small arms wrapped tightly around me, his head resting against my hip as though I might disappear if he let go. "Come on, little one," I said softly, brushing his messy blonde hair out of his eyes. "Let’s get you to bed." "No," Alex whined, tightening his hold. "Wanna stay with Mommy Natalie." My heart clenched at the name. Mommy Natalie. He had called me that from the first day I met him in human form, and every time he said it, it chipped away at the walls I had built around myself. But I couldn’t be his mother. I wasn’t even sure I could be anything at all. I smiled faintly at him despite the heaviness in my chest. "You need to sleep, Alex," I whispered, picking him up despite his protests. He wrapped his arms around my neck, yawned, and nestled against me, his warmth a stark contrast to the cold that seemed permanently embedded in my skin. "Promise you won’t leave?" he murmured sleepily. I hesitated. How could I make a promise when I didn’t know if I could keep it? But looking at his innocent face, his deep brown eyes filled with trust, I forced a smile and whispered, "I promise." I carried him to his room, humming a lullaby under my breath as his breathing slowed. Carefully, I laid him down on the bed and tucked the blanket snugly around him. His eyes fluttered open briefly, and he gave me the smallest of smiles. "I love you, Mummy Natalie," he murmured before drifting off again. My heart fluttered at his words. How had this little boy wormed his way into my broken soul? Quietly, I left his room and returned to mine, shutting the door behind me. I looked at the bed in front of me and it looked too soft, too foreign. It didn’t belong to me. Nothing ever did. So, I grabbed the extra blankets and laid them on the floor like always, creating a makeshift bed. The hard surface was familiar—comforting, even. Though, I didn’t deserve comfort. Comfort was for people who weren’t marked, rejected, and discarded. I wrapped myself in the blankets, curling into a tight ball, trying to convince myself that I was safe. But my mind refused to rest. I lay down, staring at the ceiling, trying to will my mind to silence. But the memories from earlier at the event clawed their way back into focus. It replayed in my head like a broken record. The moment my eyes met Alpha Darius’s. The way Griffin looked at me like I was nothing but used gum trapped under his boots. The memory sent a wave of nausea through me. I squeezed my eyes shut, but the darkness offered no solace. The dreams started soon after I drifted off, though they felt more like memories than anything else. I was back in the packhouse, standing in the cold, damp basement where they used to lock me up when I did something they dimmed punishable; in this dream, it was for mistakingly breaking the Alpha’s expensive China plates while trying to wash them. The place reeked of mold and blood. My blood. My body ached from the lashes, my skin raw and burning. My knees wobbled as I scrubbed the floor, my fingers bleeding from the harsh bristles of the brush. "Faster, you wolfless disease," a voice sneered from behind me. I flinched, my hands trembling. A boot slammed into my ribs, sending me sprawling. Pain exploded through my side as my vision blurred. "I’m sorry," I gasped, curling in on myself. Laughter echoed around me. "You should be," Alpha Darius’s voice slithered through the darkness. He crouched beside me, his fingers gripping my chin with bruising force. His black eyes gleamed with twisted amusement. "I will make sure you pay for your father’s crimes, Natalie. No matter how far you try to run, you will always belong to me." "No," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "Yes," he chuckled darkly, dragging his fingers down my neck. "You’re mine to break. Mine to use, " then he bit down on my neck. I screamed. The sound ripped through my throat as I bolted upright, my body drenched in sweat. My breaths came in short, ragged gasps. The room spun. My chest tightened. I couldn’t breathe. I tried to move, but my limbs refused to obey. My hands trembled violently as I clawed at the blankets, at my own skin, desperate for something—anything—to hold me. The walls felt like they were closing in. I was back there. I was back in that nightmare. I didn’t even notice the small warmth beside me until a tiny voice broke through my haze. "Mummy Natalie?" Alexander. He must have snuck into my room while I was lost in the nightmare. His tiny hands patted my face, his voice trembling as he called out to me. "Mummy Natalie? Mummy Natalie, wake up!" I wanted to respond, to reassure him, but I couldn’t. My body wouldn’t obey me. The fear had paralyzed me completely. Alexander’s voice rose in panic, his small cries breaking through the haze of terror. "I’ll get Daddy!" Tears fell steadily down his big brown eyes as he scrambled off the floor and ran out of the room, his tiny feet pounding against the wooden floors. I wanted to call out to him. I wanted to tell him I was okay. But I wasn’t. I was drowning. Seconds—or maybe minutes—passed before the door burst open again. Zane ran into the room, Alexander clutching his hand and sobbing. "Natalie!" Zane’s voice was sharp, filled with alarm. He dropped to his knees beside me, his hands hovering uncertainly over my trembling form. "What happened?" he asked, though it was clear he wasn’t expecting an answer. Alexander’s cries grew louder. "Help her, Daddy! Please, help her!" "I’m here, Alex," Zane said firmly, pulling the boy into a quick hug before turning his full attention to me. "Natalie," he said softly now, his tone a soothing balm against my raw nerves. "Shh, hey, it’s okay," Zane whispered. "You’re safe, Natalie. You’re safe." I wasn’t. I couldn’t be. But his hands didn’t let go. They held me steady as I trembled, as I gasped for air that refused to come. "Look at me," Zane urged, cupping my face. His touch was warm, solid—nothing like Darius’s. "Breathe with me, Natalie. Follow my voice." His deep, soothing voice held me. He took a slow breath, exaggerated it, and then exhaled. "Do it with me," he coaxed. I tried. I tried so hard, but my body was still locked in terror. His thumb brushed against my cheek, wiping away tears I hadn’t even realized were falling. "You’re safe," he repeated. "No one can hurt you here. Not Darius. No one." The name sent another wave of panic through me, but Zane didn’t let me fall. He pulled me into his arms, pressing me against his broad chest. His scent—cedarwood and a hint of leather—wrapped around me like a shield. I clung to him, my fingers digging into his shirt as the sobs finally broke free. In the background, I could hear Alex’s sniffles. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him I was okay, but I wasn’t sure if I could. Zane held me tighter. "I’ve got you," he murmured. Slowly, agonizingly, the tightness in my chest began to ease. The room came back into focus, the shadows retreating. "There you go," Zane said, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he kept wiping the tears from my face. "That’s it. Just keep breathing." Alexander threw himself onto me, wrapping his little arms around my neck. "Don’t scare me like that again, Mummy Natalie!" I held him tightly, my body still trembling but my heart was full of gratitude. Zane reached out, his hand resting lightly on my shoulder. His touch was warm and reassuring. "You don’t have to fight this alone," he said quietly. "Not anymore." His words settled over me, a fragile promise I wanted so much to believe in.

Chapter 30: Panic Attack

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