#085 – Why do they have to be humanoid?

Words : 1195 Updated : Sep 17th, 2025

#085 – Why do they have to be humanoid? “I’m back,” I growled at the gate of the city dungeon. With my enhanced key sword in my right hand, my gun self in my left hand, and my main body covered in my super armor self shaped like clothes, I was ready to rock this place. No damn armor-piercing poisoned arrows would stop me. bloopbooper: bloop!!!!٩(^ᗜ^ )و ́- RetconRanger: Good luck! trelipideliberitation: you can do iiiiit uptonMIKE: got enough ether? FouxMoux: I wonder what comes after the archer JamieWasTaken3: glhf Ebiko still hadn’t come back and it made me a little depressed, but I couldn’t let that get to me. Not when I was about to enter a freaking dungeon. I would call her after I dealt with this dungeon. I cracked a small smile at all the encouragement in chat, banned the sicko who was sexualizing the archer enemy, and said, “Yeah, let’s do this, guys!” I stepped inside the city with confidence as the dungeon aura – how we’d decided to call it – washed over me. The added feelings of pride and unity only spurred me forward. I decided not to enter the first house and instead took a short stroll through the city, just to hash out my battle strategy. “Okay. So the first fight shouldn’t be a problem. I’m a lot tankier than I was before, so even if she somehow manages to hit me, I should be fine.” I also still wanted to try using the ring on the cooking demon later. Right now, though, I wanted to go in and try to get as far as possible before things got too tough. I’d already swapped Appraisal for Soulbound Item again – so much better like this – but my plan was to swap it or Heat Vision to Rend if things got too rough. That was my trump card, even if I wasn’t entirely sure if it would work on dungeon monsters. But considering the skill-stealing ring apparently did, I saw no reason for why Rend wouldn’t. My other trump card would be my Dragon Blaster’s ‘kitchen sink’ setting, as I liked to call it. Shoot everything I could at once, just like how I’d defeated the dragon demon mom boss. With that said, I had firmly decided that if I had to use either one of my trump cards, I would leave immediately after beating whatever I was fighting. No need to risk my life more than I needed to. I made it all the way back to the main square with the dried-out fountain. The moment I spotted the etchings on the fountain, my eyes widened and then snapped to my ring. The symbols were the same! Well, not exactly the same. But similar enough that I had no doubt that they had to be related somehow. FouxMoux: ooooooh FouxMoux: demon queen FouxMoux: this is demon city “...Oooh, yeah! How the heck did I not realize it before?” It was so obvious in hindsight. This was the demon city ruled by the demon queen, who was the owner of this ring and mother of an ancient dragon, and I guess she must have fought some dangerous enemy with her son to protect her city, which had created the giant hole and crater. Well, the whole ‘being a mother of a dragon’ felt pretty weird and unrelated, but the rest of it fit perfectly. “Wow, this stream still ended up being ARG, huh?” I giggled and shook my head. “Well, neat! I bet all you lorehunters are salivating right now. I’ll leave you to that! I’m gonna go conquer this dungeon in the meantime! And probably discover even more lore for y'all in the process!” With that, I walked to the nearest building, looked at the looming door, took a deep breath, and then knocked on it. Just like the first time, the door clicked open after a moment, I grabbed the handle, and entered the dining room. As usual, the door behind me clicked, the other door opened, and the cooking demon launched herself at me. “I’m back!” I shouted as I summoned my key sword and immediately slashed in front of me. The zombie demon somehow parried it with her large knife, raised her pan up high, and bonked me over the head. “Ow!” I yelled even though it barely hurt. I kicked her in retaliation, but she somehow managed to stab me in my calf with the knife just before my kick connected and pushed her back. Luckily, my knee-length boots had blocked the damage, because apparently, the entire outfit shared the damage resistance aspect. Since I didn’t want to waste Ether on the easiest enemy, I simply rushed forward with my sword again and slashed, this time managing to cut into her arm. She dropped the knife while swinging the pan again. The pan connected with my head with another bonk. He pulled up his shield and blocked my strike while at the same time firing another black fireball, which I blocked in turn. We were at a stalemate. Not. I kicked his exposed left side and sent him crashing on his butt. A moment later, I was on him, slashing into his chest, before he could defend again. He struggled and tried to shoot more fire at me, but I pinned his wand arm with my shield and stabbed him again. His struggles stopped and he vanished into smoke. I gave a tiny smile before I froze because of some comments in chat. lifeyO: used to killing kids yet? ... I... Was I getting used to killing child-shaped monsters...? Or humanoids in general? I... I was, wasn’t I? I should be happy, since it made dungeoneering much easier, but... I mentally shook my head. I wouldn’t kill actual people. These were just mindless monsters... Even if they thrashed as they died. I mentally shook my head harder and took a deep breath. “...Well, that was easy. These first two have always been easy I guess...” Fuck Stream Overseer. As useful as it was, and as used to ignoring cutting comments I’d gotten, sometimes things just caught me off guard. I sighed and forced myself to stop thinking about this. “Anyway... Next is...” ...The archer, who I’d brutalized last time. Fuck. RetconRanger: You can do it. RetconRanger: You’re not going to lose yourself. trelipideliberitation: just gun her down! JamieWasTaken3: boss time I took another deep breath. “Yeah. I can totally do it. It’s gonna be fine.” Before I forgot, though, I tapped the chest the wizard kid had left behind with my key sword a few times like a drum to the beat of my favorite anime opening. Once assured that it wasn’t a mimic, I opened it. Inside was the same shield the kid had used. “Huh. I already have a shield though... I guess I can fuse them later, yeah.” I shrugged and put it into my backpack. Then, I got up and walked to the door, steeling myself to face my nemesis.

#085 – Why do they have to be humanoid?

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